Title: Happy fish
author: Sunday ( firstname.lastname@example.org or email@example.com )
Notes: Relena is this fic. I can't say more without ruining the thingy....ok...so this happened after being threatened with death and sharp objects if I put Relena and Heero together in 'slaves emotional and otherise'...ehem...it was a joke mina-chan....
COMENTS & CRITISISM please!!!!
Duo walked into his room, when he happened upon a most distraught Heero or at least as distraught as Heero got. In other words, Heero's typing at the computer, was not its usual 800 words per minute, rather it had dropped to the inefficient 600 ehem anyway, he was distraught. This in itself, considering the turn of events that the events had well turned to did not surprise Duo. What DID strike his curiosity, was the fact that Heero was so drastically affected.
"Err Heero-koi what happened?"
Heero looked up briefly from the screen, with the impassive mask still in place, before looking back upon the damned contraption. Duo once again considered the fanatical notion of dressing up as a piece of silicone and screen, wrapped in plastic or in other words, a laptop just for a smidget of the oh so valuable and rare `Heero affection'. He sighed audibly, and waited for some sort of reaction from Heero on finding, much to his chagrin, that Heero had not responded he tried a more direct approach letting out one of his most erotic of groans. That, much to Duo's pleasure, got Heero's attention well at least the attention of some of Heero (but we will let the lemon writers write where lemon writing is due seeing as I am not one of them ).
"So Heero how did your meeting with Relena go ? Not that it could have gone well judging from your current state of distress but I mean we _ expected _ it to go bad in fact she could not do ANYTHING that would have made the situation any less funny or at least satisfying. She was SUPPOSED to have a fit she is just THAT predictable."
Heero finally looked at his exasperated lover "Well, Relena is just FULL of surprises."
An answer proved very much unexpected after all after minutes of coaxing information out of the brick wall with little success Duo had found that the wall: COULD: and: WOULD: answer. On TOP of that it had answered that RELENA, of all people, was not as predictable as the monthly calendar or the cycles of the moon or even death and taxes. That in itself was a surprise.
"So what did she do marry you?"
"Deny the fact that we can star in a yaoi fic?"
"Beg? Plead? Threaten?"
"Well then WHAT did she do?" asked a now fanatic Duo, as he perched precariously at the edge of the table giving the impression, that at any time he could fall over.
"She did non of it in fact I believe that she may be a simpleton."
"WHAT? You mean she did not understand?" Duo screamed, and gestured, from where he now resided on the floor.
"Heero you didn't perchance start babbling in that scientific talk of yours did you?"
"No I used the terms that you were so vigorous in teaching me."
Duo snickered at the slight pauses in Heero's speech remembering just HOW vigorous he had been.
"And she did not understand?" This of course worried Duo
"hai .and it was not the fact that it was two people of the same gender I don't believe we even got that far in the conversation she did not seem to grasp at that even DUO!"
Duo let go of his grasp the one that he had stationed at Heero's rear.
" She was absolutely clueless "
"Did you mention the shonnen-ai the yaoi?"
"Hai, hai "
"Did you mention that I was involved."
"Well what did she say?"
"She told me that I was mad as a hatter and that she would have to `fall into a rabbit hole' for any of this to be believable she then asked me about any drugs I might be
"Well did the conversation even START normally."
"Hai, I told her I was gay."
"She told me I was not."
"Oh ok that sounds plausible so what happened exactly."
Thus Heero stood up, and began the best personifying of one `Heero Yuy' known to mankind he later won an Oscar for his performance. He dead panned "`Relena I cannot marry you because I am gay.' then she said" Heero's voice rose about fifty octaves `But HHEEEeeeeeeeEEEEEEEro why does that stop you from marrying me?' and I said `because I am gay ' and she said `but you AREN'T.' and I nodded that I WAS and she nodded to say I was not and after about fifteen minutes of arguing over :MY: preference, I decided that the previously described method was inefficient and so I tried an alternate route by stating that you were my lover "
Duo furrowed his brows in confusion, and watched as his lover sank back onto the chair, in sheer exhaustion. " And THEN she told me that I was insane Duo, AM I insane?"
"Not last I checked maybe she misunderstood "
"No, impossible I used all the terms you gave me "
"Oh, so you did not use your `I have been involved in episodes of sexual intercourse with another male."
"Hai because then, as you had stated previously, she would have blinked a lot and said `huh?'"
Duo thought about this for a minute oh well, he figured, only one way to find out with this, he moved to the phone and called up a Miss. Relena Peacecraft.
"Hello yes .uhuh .no he is not being committed and what were his words exactly? Aaaah I see yes I realize that he is not well I'm sure he is on the inside, but it just does not show yes yes I'M A WHAT? oh wait wait, that makes sense now too.."
Duo paused, and Relena's frantic screams could be heard something about Duo saving himself, before Heero really fell off the rocker, and killed him. Heero looked at the braided pilot worriedly. He gnawed at his lower lip, he ran a hand through his hair all those VERY emotional guestures were ignored by one Duo Maxwell as he chatted on the phone.
" actually what he was trying to tell you, was that he was currently in a sexual relationship with another male me .uhuh .yah I was wondering when he would come around too yah bye Relena lunch? Sure, e-mail me bye."
With this Duo hung up the phone, grinning madly at Heero.
I see why Relena was freaking
I would be too,
if you told ME that you were perfectly happy with Duo the fish."