Title: Happy fish
parts: 1/1
author: Sunday ( sun_sunday@yahoo.com or all_in_leather@yahoo.com )
Pairings: 1+2
Notes: Relena is this fic. I can't say more without ruining the thingy....ok...so this happened after being threatened with death and sharp objects if I put Relena and Heero together in 'slaves emotional and otherise'...ehem...it was a joke mina-chan....

COMENTS & CRITISISM please!!!!

 

 

Happy Fish
by: Sunday

 

Duo walked into his room, when he happened upon a most distraught Heero…or at least as distraught as Heero got. In other words, Heero's typing at the computer, was not its usual 800 words per minute, rather it had dropped to the inefficient 600…ehem…anyway, he was distraught. This in itself, considering the turn of events that the events had…well…turned to…did not surprise Duo. What DID strike his curiosity, was the fact that Heero was so drastically affected.

"Err…Heero-koi…what happened?"

Heero looked up briefly from the screen, with the impassive mask still in place, before looking back upon the damned contraption. Duo once again considered the fanatical notion of dressing up as a piece of silicone and screen, wrapped in plastic…or in other words, a laptop…just for a smidget of the oh so valuable and rare `Heero affection'. He sighed audibly, and waited for some sort of reaction from Heero…on finding, much to his chagrin, that Heero had not responded…he tried a more direct approach…letting out one of his most erotic of groans. That, much to Duo's pleasure, got Heero's attention…well at least the attention of some of Heero (but we will let the lemon writers write where lemon writing is due…seeing as I am not one of them…).

"So Heero…how did your meeting with Relena go…? Not that it could have gone well judging from your current state of distress…but I mean…we _ expected _ it to go bad…in fact…she could not do ANYTHING that would have made the situation any less funny…or at least satisfying. She was SUPPOSED to have a fit…she is just THAT predictable."

Heero finally looked at his exasperated lover "Well, Relena is just FULL of surprises."

An answer proved very much unexpected…after all…after minutes of coaxing information out of the brick wall…with little success…Duo had found that the wall: COULD: and: WOULD: answer. On TOP of that…it had answered that RELENA, of all people, was not as predictable as the monthly calendar…or the cycles of the moon…or even death and taxes. That in itself was a surprise.

"So what did she do…marry you?"

"No…"

"Deny the fact that we can star in a yaoi fic?"

"No…"

"Beg? Plead? Threaten?"

"No…"

"Go

`HHHHhhhhhheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrroooooooo!!!"

"No."

"Well then WHAT did she do?" asked a now fanatic Duo, as he perched precariously at the edge of the table…giving the impression, that at any time he could fall over.

"She did non of it…in fact…I believe that she may be a simpleton."

THUMP

"WHAT? You mean she did not understand?" Duo screamed, and gestured, from where he now resided on the floor.

"Hai."

"Heero…you didn't perchance start babbling in that scientific talk of yours…did you?"

"No…I used the terms that you were so…vigorous…in teaching me."

Duo snickered at the slight pauses in Heero's speech…remembering just HOW vigorous he had been.

"And she did not understand?" This of course worried Duo…

"hai….and it was not the fact that it was two people of the same gender…I don't believe we even got that far in the conversation…she did not seem to grasp at that even…DUO!"

Duo let go of his grasp…the one that he had stationed at Heero's rear.

"Gohmen…continue."

"…She was absolutely clueless…"

"Did you mention the shonnen-ai…the yaoi?"

"Hai, hai…"

"Did you mention that I was involved."

"hai."

"Well what did she say?"

"She told me that I was mad as a hatter…and that she would have to `fall into a rabbit hole' for any of this to be believable… she then asked me about any drugs I might be

on…"

"Well did the conversation even START normally."

"Hai, I told her I was gay."

"and…?"

"She told me I was not."

"Oh…ok…that sounds plausible…so what happened exactly."

Thus Heero stood up, and began the best personifying of one `Heero Yuy' known to mankind…he later won an Oscar for his performance. He dead panned "`Relena I cannot marry you…because I am gay.'…then she said" Heero's voice rose about fifty octaves `But HHEEEeeeeeeeEEEEEEEro…why does that stop you from marrying me?'…and I said `because I am…gay…'…and she said `but you AREN'T.'…and I nodded that I WAS…and she nodded to say I was not…and after about fifteen minutes of arguing over :MY: preference, I decided that the previously described method was inefficient…and so I tried an alternate route…by stating that you were my lover…"

Duo furrowed his brows in confusion, and watched as his lover sank back onto the chair, in sheer exhaustion. "…And THEN she told me that I was insane…Duo, AM I insane?"

"Not last I checked…maybe she misunderstood…"

"No, impossible…I used all the terms you gave me…"

"Oh, so you did not use your `I have been involved in episodes of sexual intercourse with another male."

"Hai…because then, as you had stated previously, she would have blinked a lot and said `huh?'"

Duo thought about this for a minute…oh well, he figured, only one way to find out…with this, he moved to the phone and called up a Miss. Relena Peacecraft.

"Hello…yes….uhuh….no he is not being committed…and what were his words exactly?…Aaaah…I see…yes I realize that he is not…well I'm sure he is on the inside, but it just does not show…yes…yes…I'M A WHAT?…oh wait…wait, that makes sense now too.."

Duo paused, and Relena's frantic screams could be heard…something about Duo saving himself, before Heero really fell off the rocker, and killed him. Heero looked at the braided pilot worriedly. He gnawed at his lower lip, he ran a hand through his hair…all those VERY emotional guestures were ignored by one Duo Maxwell…as he chatted on the phone.

"…actually what he was trying to tell you, was that he was currently in a sexual relationship with another male………me….uhuh….yah I was wondering when he would come around too…yah…bye Relena…lunch? Sure, e-mail me…bye."

With this Duo hung up the phone, grinning madly at Heero.

"Eh, Heero…I see why Relena was freaking…I would be too, if you told ME that you were perfectly happy with Duo the fish."