5-15-2002

Here's part two of Two Hearts. *hides shamefully* The email changed and I've been really busy, but it's been done forever.

Title: Two Hearts: Comin’ Home
Author: Sphynx

Warnings/Pairings: Trowa angst/OOC, 3x4

Disclaimers: *takes a deep breath* I don’t own them. Not the boys, not the songs. The song used here ("Comin’ Home") is written and performed by Sam Hensley, and therefore belongs to him. He just happens to be a friend of mine, and you will face MY wrath if you steal it. Now that wasn’t so hard, was it? *goes off to cry b/c she can’t own the boys*

Feedback: YES!!!

 

I’m alone upon this ride,
traveling through this lonely night,
and I don’t have a real clear view,
but I’m comin home to you

 

Trowa couldn’t feel anything. The emotionless stare that had been his salvation earlier, was what he was truly what he felt in his heart. Well, almost, the pain form leaving Quatre was there, but he pushed it aside. He had gone back to the boy he was long ago, the one Catherine had first met. He didn’t care whether he lived or died. As long as he wasn’t with Quatre, life was painful to bear.

*******

It had been a year that Quatre and Trowa hadn’t seen or spoken to each other. A year ago yesterday that their hearts had been torn asunder when Trowa had left the Winner estate to go back to the circus. Both still felt the pain acutely, especially Quatre, who didn’t know why Trowa had left him. No longer did a violin’s music grace the halls of the Winner house; Quatre hadn’t played since Trowa left, and everyone mourned the loss of the beautiful music. After Trowa left, he had immersed himself in work, trying to dull the pain that rend his heart in two. It worked, now the pain was just a dull throb in his breast.

*******

Trowa couldn’t handle the pain anymore; it was too much to bear. He left the circus, and went to the colony where he had heard Quatre was. He didn’t know if Quatre would forgive him for leaving, although he knew how forgiving Quatre was. He found an apartment near his Quatre, and sent a note. He wanted Quatre to know he was here, that was all. He loved Quatre, and that was the only thing he knew.

 

I am comin home to you,
I am comin home to you,
with all the loving that you do,
I am comin home to you

 

Quatre knew before he read the signature who the note was from. The handwriting was painfully familiar, and his heart had yearned for such a note for months. It was simple; all Trowa said was that he was in the city, would Quatre see him. Quatre asked the message boy to take a reply quickly. "Yes, come see me, please, I have missed you," he said this aloud, as if Trowa could hear him, as he wrote the reply. Oh, how he yearned for the moment when Trowa would appear on the doorstep.

*******

Trowa looked at the note in amazement. There was no word of reproach, Quatre was asking him to come, and Quatre had said that he had missed him. He left the apartment, and headed towards Quatre’s house.

 

There is no car that I can’t drive,
and a train won’t take me to the skies,
but still my journey isn’t through,
cause I’m comin home to you

 

Trowa walked, thinking as he went whether Quatre could forgive him. He reached the boy’s house too soon. As he stood at the door waiting for the answer to his knock, he thought about just leaving. But then he realized how much it would hurt to that, he would rather Quatre not forgive him than not know what could have happened.

*******

Quatre heard the knock and ran down to answer the door before any of the few servants he had with him. There was Trowa, a thin, tired Trowa, but Trowa all the same. Quatre couldn’t help his urge to gather Trowa into an embrace. He felt like he was whole again standing there with his true love in his arms. Holding him close, Quatre realized how thin Trowa had gotten, there was little to him other than skin and bones. He couldn’t help but think what was wrong with him, but he realized he would need an explanation as to why Trowa had left the year before. But first the two must get used to each other again.

"Trowa, you came just in time for dinner, would you like to join me?"

"Yes, I would like that," it was innocent enough; Trowa knew that by accepting the dinner invitation, he could prolong the inevitable explanation that was needed for a little while longer.

They ate dinner, something Arabic and spicy, but very delicious. Quatre waited for Trowa to tell him why he had left, but by dessert, he knew he would have to ask, but not at the table.

"Would you like to join me for tea in my sitting room?"

"If you wish," Trowa knew now there was no way to say no, Quatre would want an explanation, and now was the time. The two went to the sitting room and settled comfortably. Quatre wasn’t going to push, he knew Trowa would resent that, so he sat and waited. He didn’t have to wait long.

 

I am comin home to you,
I am comin home to you,
with all the loving that you do,
I am comin home to you

 

"You want to know why I left." It was more a statement than a question, so Quatre waited for Trowa to continue. "I am sorry, I didn’t know what to do, I was in love, and I didn’t know if I was loved back." Quatre’s heart sank, thinking that his love would go unrequited. "So I ran from the one I loved, thinking it was better to leave than cause myself pain by staying. I was wrong, it caused me too much pain, so I have come back to tell you that I love you and I am sorry I have ever left. If you cannot love me, at least you will know why I left." Trowa got up to leave as Quatre sat dumbfounded is his chair. Then Quatre had to say something; he wouldn’t be left a second time.

"Wait, Trowa!" Trowa turned around, "did you mean what you said?"

"Yes."

Quatre started to cry; Trowa quickly came to his side.

"Are you alright"

"Just happy, downright joyous, because I love you, and you came back to me." Trowa took Quatre into his arms at those words, enjoying his nearness. He thought about what had happened that past year, it had been awful without Quatre. So much had happened in the year he had been gone, and he knew that Quatre would need to know. A tear made its way down his face. It hurt to think that he had done something that would let Quatre down, but still it must told.

 

This heavy load it weighs me down,
I trip and fall onto this lonely ground,
and I’m so scared I cannot move,
but you pick me up, you pull me through

 

"You’re crying," the statement said in disbelief brought Trowa back to the present. He looked down at Quatre and saw concern in his love’s eyes. For a moment he didn’t know why Quatre sounded so surprised, then he realized that he had never cried like this in front of Quatre before.

"I am sorry, mayhaps mine are tears of joy partly, but they are also tears of pain. It was a hard road coming here." Trowa bowed his head and took a couple of deep breaths, trying to prepare himself for the telling of his painful tale. He couldn’t see the pained look in Quatre’s eyes, but despite the questions Quatre must have had, he remained silent, waiting for Trowa to continue. Trowa looked up and finally continued.

"I left you thinking to start a new life, and I did. I went back to the circus and Catherine, but I couldn’t think of anything but you. There was one point when I got so distracted; she wouldn’t let me work in the knife-throwing act. I soon found that drinking helped. I could once again leave emotion behind and work for the now of things. It didn’t help, though, when I thought of you, so I just ended up drinking more and more." Trowa’s voice was starting to get weighed down with emotion, and tears were spilling out of Quatre’s eyes. Telling his story to Quatre was one of the hardest things to do, because it went against all he learned. But he continued.

 

I am comin home to you,
I am comin home to you,
with all the loving that you do,
I am comin home to you

 

"Soon, it wasn’t because I was distracted that Catherine wouldn’t let me work, but it was because I was never sober enough to keep my head in the act. That was a couple of months ago, and she gave me an ultimatum on the drinking. She said that I had to stop or she would kick me out. I had no choice, so I slowed down, and eventually stopped completely. Then the pain came back. She said it would help if I went to the source of the pain. And that started me thinking that if I could tell you how I felt about you, I would feel better myself, and I came." Tears were slowly working down Trowa’s face at this point, and his tale was finally done with. Quatre could hardly contain his crying, and he buried his face in Trowa’s chest, sobbing. Trowa sat there and held him, waiting for Quatre to calm down.

 

I reach out and take your hand,
brother walk with me you’ll understand
we’ll take care of all those blues,
we are comin home…

 

Somehow Quatre got his crying under control. He looked from the circle of Trowa’s arms, up at his dear one’s face, "It’s alright now, you’re here, and I’ll never let you hurt like that again. We’ll never leave each other without knowing we’ll be together again someday." Trowa looked dow n at him and was filled with hope and love. Trowa wanted to hold Quatre for all eternity at that moment.

"I’d like that, I’ll never leave you again."

 

 

 

 

"There is something about the look in your eyes, something I noticed when the light was just right....You reminded me twice that I was alive, and it reminded me that you are still worth the fight."

~"echo" by Incubus