7-17-2001

author: sky
title: Promise
Warning: shounen-ai, death, somewhat sappish, angst
pairing: 1+2/2+1
feedback: Onegai!
disclaimer: I do not own GW. This fic is solely for entertainment purposes only. I have no money. If people paid me to write, I'd be a freakin' millionaire. Don't sue me.

~*~

Heero. You're here. I was waiting for you. Even if it's only been a few hours, time without you feels endless. I was so scared. It's so cold and dark in here. I felt lost.so lost. I was confused. You were there.then suddenly you weren't, and I could hear strange sounds and see strange people but I couldn't see you. But it's okay now. You're here. Just hold on to me and everything will be okay.

Heero.please don't cry. I cannot stand to see you so helpless and vulnerable. You're supposed to be my perfect soldier, my stronghold. I can't bear to see you in so much pain because of me. I don't deserve your tears. I.cannot hold you anymore. Can't kiss away your tears. All I can do is talk, even though you will never be able to hear me. Talking somewhat distracts me. So if it's okay with you, I'll keep talking.

You know, ever since the moment we first kissed, life's been like a dream to me. Has it been like that to you too? No matter how many times I woke up in you're arms, no matter how many times you told me that you loved me, I just couldn't believe it. Sometimes I was even scared to sleep at night. I was scared that I might wake up without you, to find out that it had really all been a dream. A sick, perverse joke. So every night I'd content myself with just watching you sleep. You look beautiful when you sleep. So peaceful.I remember when you'd wake up to see me watching you, you're eyes immediately full of concern. Then you'd hold me closer to you and whisper softly into my ear: "I love you."

Do you know that feeling of total happiness? When you're so happy you just want to burst with joy. That feeling of absolute joy. I thought I'd never feel it again. Until I met you. Funny, I shot you the first time I met you. You can still see the scars. Sometimes that feeling of guilt would wash over me and I'll run my hands over them, asking if you were really okay. Then you'd always say yes and I'd always smile and say: "Good."

Do you have any regrets, Heero? The only regret I have is that I will never be able to send you off to you're job, cook your meals, even wash your clothes. But that's okay. Because I'll still be watching you. Sometimes, you might fall and it might feel unbearable but I'm just going to pick you right back up and see that you keep going. I'll protect you. Just like you protected me.

Will you smile for me, Heero? Just one more time. I have to make sure that you're going to be all right. The war's over, Heero. You can live a normal life now. Just like we planned. You're going to get a normal house, a normal job, maybe even a pet. Even though I'm not going to be there, I know you'll be fine. You're strong Heero. You can make it through this.

 

I'm so sorry, love, I'm getting so tired. Will you tell the others that I said good bye? I love you so much, Heero, please forgive me. I want to see you live a happy life okay? And maybe 70 years from now, when you too, must leave, I'll be waiting for you at the door, my arms outstretched and welcoming, and I'll embrace you in my arms and never let you go.

Never again.

Since the fist day I met you, I promised myself that I'd never say goodbye, and I'm not planning on breaking that promise now. Not now, not ever. I'll miss you, koi and I'll wait for the day we can meet again. The day I can welcome you home and never have to leave again.

~*~

~Owari