7-17-2001

author: sky {infiniti121@hotmail.com}
title: I'll take care of you
warnings: shounen-ai, angst, death, sap, some P.O.V., hangovers!!
pairings: 1+2/2+1
feedback: yop
Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters. I'm poor. Don't sue me.

 

~*~

I feel like shit. Groaning, I lean against the cold porcelain of the toilet and I try not to think about him.

I ask myself the one question that has been in my head since...that day.

Why?

I need him to be here with me. I need his embrace, his smile, even the endless chatter that would fill our room. I listen for a moment, half expecting him to come bounding into the bathroom with that ridiculously big grin on his face, saying: "Just Kidding~!"

Unbearable silence.

I shake my head in bitter disappointment. Big mistake. I empty my stomach into the toilet for the second time, my shaking hands wrapped tightly around the porcelain like a lifeline.

It's my fault.

Ninmu shippai.

I failed the biggest mission of my life. I failed to protect him. He was the only person I had ever dared to love, the only person that loved me...And I failed to protect him.

Screaming in rage, I slammed my fist through the wall, pieces of plaster showering around me like snow.

Yes, I was being weak. My inner perfect soldier was screaming at me to get up, telling me that soldiers do not love. That soldiers do not feel pain. I was about to get up and shoot myself if the perfect soldier would only shut it's fucking mouth. I didn't CARE about being a perfect soldier anymore. I had thrown it all away the day I had confessed my love for him. It was a terrible risk in the midst of the war but I was willing to risk it.

Slowly and painfully, I somehow managed to get up and tried to wobble towards the door. It was an impossible task with the door spinning around me like a hurricane. With a sharp gasp I lost my balance, sprawling across the floor. For a few moments, I just lay there, motionless. Then, sniffing like a child, I dragged my knees to my chest.

For the first time after Duo's death, I let myself cry.

~*~

"Oi, Heero. Wake up, sleepy head!!"

Heero slowly opened his eyes to find himself staring into the clear violet eyes he had drowned in so many times before. He smiled, but his face quickly twisted back into a wince. For some reason, his head was pounding painfully. Duo stared down at Heero sadly and brushed some of his dark brown bangs out of his face.

"You really have to take better care of yourself, Heero." He said softly.

He appeared to be lost in thought for a couple minutes, before quickly recovered his smile.

"Here."

He held out a two pills of aspirin and a glass of water. Heero greatfully accepted and drank them down with water, lying back down afterwards.

"Guess what??"

"Hmm?"

"I'm going to take care of you today, so you're gonna stay in bed,okay??"

"Duo..." Heero tried to object but Duo held up a finger to his mouth. His expression took on a glare.

"Heero, sometimes....sometimes it's okay to let your guard down and let others take care of you. You're overworking yourself, trying to protect everybody. You're just one guy. You can't possibly do everything you're forcing yourself to do. You gotta remember that you're human. Just....Just relax today,okay? I want to do this for you."

Heero nodded. Duo's expression brightened up again, and he started to jump up and down in excitement.

"Besides, I have a surprise for you!!"

Laughing, Duo bounded out of the room and a series of crashes of various pots and pans came from the kitchen. Smiling, Heero leaned back against the pillows, basking in the warm sunlight filtering in through the thin curtains.Suddenly a bowl of soup was shoved under his face and he looked up to see Duo holding out a bowl of soup with both hands, carrying the spoon in his mouth.

"ook at I made fo you." He grinned, trying to talk from behind the spoon.

Pulling a chair over by one of his feet, he sat down and removed the spoon from his mouth, offering a spoonful of soup to Heero.

"Eat."

Rolling his eyes playfully, Heero let himself be fed. He looked up to see Duo peering at him curiously, looking for even the tiniest flicker of disgust.

"Is it...is it okay?"

Heero took another spoonful, then swallowed it down.

"It's good."

"Really?"

Heero smiled as Duo pranced around in his new found moment of glory.

"Baka."

Duo sat down again, grinning. "Well, I guess this beats the last time I tried to cook."

Heero shook his head.

"It was good."

"It wasn't! Well, I thought it was until I heard Wufei wretching in the back yard." He wrinkled his nose. "That was the first AND last day of my cooking career."

Heero was about to say something when Duo shoved another spoonful of soup in his face. For a few minutes, the two sat in thoughtful silence, save for the occasional clink of the spoon and the sounds of Heero eating. Heero gazed at Duo between spoonfuls and smiled as he watched Duo's brow furrow as he concentrated on trying not to spill any of the soup on the bed. The sunlight accented his natural light brown highlights and reflected off his bright violet eyes, making them look like they were laughing at him, all full of joy.

Like an angel.

"My angel." He whispered between a spoonful of soup.

"Naaaniiiii~?"

Heero smirked, eating the offered soup.

"I'm not telling you."

"Chi." Duo grinned.

"Baka."

"Feel better?" Duo was quiet, his voice almost a whisper.

"Hai."

Duo held out a pinky.

"Promise to take better care of yourself? You'd better take better care of yourself or I'm gonna haveta come haul your ass back into bed and force some more nasty stuff into your mouth."

Heero smirked, holding out his own pinky.

"I don't mind."

"Huh?"

"Getting my ass hauled back into bed and being forced to eat your nasty stuff. I don't mind."

Duo laughed, giving Heero a playful shove.

"Baka, Hee-koi."

"Duo..."

"Yeah?"

Duo peered over at Heero, curiosity written all over his face. The hesitation in Heero's voice was apparent.

"Could you...."

It was usually unlike him to ask for things, but maybe today.....maybe today could be an exeption.

"Could you hold me....just for a while?"

Duo nodded and sat beside him on the bed, wrapping strong arms around him. Sighing, Heero leaned against Duo's chest. It felt so perfect, sitting here, basking in the warm sunlight in his lover's arms.

"Heero?"

"hm?"

Heero closed his eyes, sighing.

"You don't have to take care of me anymore, okay? This time, I'm going to be taking care of you."

Heero nodded, his eyes still closed.

"My angel..." He sighed, as he drifted off to sleep.

~*~

"Heero!!!!! Heero are you okay???"

I woke up with a start to find myself still curled up on the bathroom floor and Quatre pounding on the door like there was no tommorrow.

"Heero!!!! Answer me!!!"

I slowly lifted myself onto my feet and walked towards the door. The throbbing in my head had lulled somewhat, and the bathroom was no longer dancing around me. I opened the door to see Quatre in a mid-knock. Quatre watched me carefully, visibly worried. He timidly placed a hand on my shoulder.

"Heero....Daijoubu desu ka?".

"Hai. Daijoubu."

We stood there silently for a couple awkward minutes. Quatre was trying to find something to say and I had no intention on starting a conversation.Quatre fiddled with his vest buttons at a loss for words. I stared past him, at the window in the back of the room. I could tell he was worried but I didn't feel like accepting his pity at the moment. Finally realizing that my attention was elsewhere, he sighed and exited the room. Watching the door close behind him, I walked towards the window and flung it open.

The sky was the perfect shade of the clearest blue, the sun pouring in through the room like liquid.

It was like liquid laughter.

Like Duo's laughter.

A small smile played at my lips, and I gently closed my eyes, a vision of violet eyes and chestnut strands dancing around behind my eyelids.

"Take good care of me, lover. I know you will."

~*~

owari

~*~