7-17-2001

author: sky
title: Confession
warning: shounen-ai, relena bashing, sap, angst
pairings: 1+2/2+1, r+1
feedback: Please
disclaimer: I don't own GW. I'm poor. Don't sue me. If you have that much money in the first place, why don't you use it on buying more GW stuff instead of suing poor people like me?

~*~

Laughing and sounds of cans of soda being opened can be heard around the small house as Heero and Duo sat at the kitchen table enjoying their own private "two months after we became an official couple" party. The fire was blazing in the fireplace and the whole kitchen was basked with the warm light of the fire. Duo leaned across the table, planting a kiss on Heero's forehead.

"I love you, Heero Yuy."

"I love you too, Duo Maxwell."

"So can we go announce this to the world now??"

Heero lowered his gaze to the floor, fidgeting nervously with his can of soda.

"Can.can we wait?"

Duo's face fell, but he recovered quickly, nodding patiently.

"We can tell them when your ready, okay?? Let's go to bed now, ne?"

Leading Heero into their room, he was slightly disappointed, but tried to shrug it off. He didn't understand why Heero wanted to hide their relationship. It wasn't like he didn't hint it enough to everybody around them. Plastering his smile back on his face, he gently closed the door and pulled Heero into bed.

~*~

"I don't GET it, Quatre!!"

Quatre gently pat his angry friend, trying to calm him down.

"He needs time, Duo. He just needs."

"It's been two months! A freaking TWO MONTHS!!! I don't know what the hell he has to think about!"

Duo started to pace restlessly around the room, mumbling incoherent insults to himself. Sighing, Quatre sat Duo down in an armchair and looked straight into his eyes.

"Duo, he has to think things through. Just give him a little more time, open him up a little more. He loves you. He's just not ready to make a public show of it."

"Quatre, as soon as he walks out the door...it's like...like he doesn't even know me!! Do you know how fucking frustrating it is?! Okay, I'm not asking for much, right? I'm starting to think he's got someone else, or even."

"Duo!! Don't say anything like that!!"

"Then what? How do you explain this? Why is he hiding our relationship from everyone!! When he..when I first told him I loved him.I thought I had him then. But now. It turns out I never had him at all!!"

Duo was now sniffing, hints of tears filling his eyes.

"I don't know what to do!!!"

Duo flung his arms around Quatre, sobbing into his shirt. Quatre laughed nervously, trying to calm him down.

"Duo.let's.er.let's talk about this."

"What if he does have someone else, Quatre?? What am I gonna do, then???? I won't be able to live without him!!! Waaaaaaaaaaah."

Quatre sighed, warily eyeing the bottle of aspirin on his desk. Maybe if he looked at it long enough, it would miraculously take away his enourmous headache.

"Allah, help me."

~*~

Duo dejectedly walked into their house, his eyes still puffy and red from crying at Quatre's. Seeing Heero curled up on the couch, he grabbed his hand and dragged him out of the small house.

"Duo, what are you-"

"Let's go somewhere, Heero. Let's pretend that we're a real couple. Just today, hmmm?"

Confused Prussian blue eyes bore into Duo's violet ones and Duo laughed bitterly.

"Just.just today. Just for today, let's pretend that you really love me and that I."

"Duo, what are you talking about??"

"Come on. We're just pretending, so like real couples, we have to hold hands, like this."

Duo grabbed Heero's hand and started to walk down towards the most crowded parts of town. Heero tried to object several times, But Duo had an iron grip on his hand.

"HEEEEEEEEEROOOOOOO!!!"

Both boys whirled around to find Relena running towards them. Duo rolled his eyes heavenward. Both Heero and Duo spoke at the same time.

"Relena."

"Bitch."

Duo tried to pull Heero away but Heero wouldn't budge. Forcing himself to smile, he turned a not too friendly glare on her. Relena immediately latched onto Heero's arm, purring like a fat house cat. Check that, a fat and mentally deranged house cat. Duo coughed loudly, swinging Heero's hand around, trying to get Relena to see that they were holding hands.

"Eh hem."

Relena glanced at Duo, then at their hands. Duo smiled as he saw her expression fall a few notches. Duo slung an arm around Heero's shoulders and grinned at Relena victoriously.

"So, what bring you to OUR little town, Relena?"

Relena glared at him, still holding on to Heero's arm.

"Well, Duo-san. I'm sorry to sound rude, but is it any of your business?"

"Sorry, but we happen to be busy, right Heero?"

Duo fixed a glare on Heero, willing him to speak. Heero was glaring at him, his jaw clenched. Duo impatiently waited, then spoke again, this time his full attention on Heero.

"The fact is, Relena. We've officially become a couple, haven't we, Heero?? I love you, koi. Heero, why don't you tell Relena that you love me too. Just so she knows."

"What do you think you're DOING, Duo?!"

Heero wrenched his arm from Duo's grasp, still glaring at the former deathscythe pilot. Duo met his gaze steadily.

"Why Heero, I'm waiting for you to tell me that you love me. I thought you did, too."

"Duo, I've told you-"

"Told me what?! All you've told me is that we should keep our relationship a SECRET!! Why, Heero?? Isn't that what lovers are supposed to do?? Or are we even lovers, Heero. Tell me! Are you seeing someone else?! Why can't you say that you love me in front of HER?! Are you cheating on me, screwing that fucking whore behind my back-"

Duo's suddenly came silent as Heero's palm connected squarely with his cheek. He staggered backwards several times, placing a trembling hand over the burning spot on his cheek. Glaring at Heero with tear filled eyes, Duo turned and ran up the street into their house, slamming the door behind him. Heero glared after Duo, his hand still clenched, aching from the impact. Duo had no right to make false implications about him and Relena. Didn't he tell him enough that he loved him? Why was he doubting him? He knew better than to jump to false conclusions. What did he want him to do?

"Oh Heero, I'll make that dirty street rat pay for everything he did to us!! How dare he address you like that?! Just because he's jealous. How can someone like you love somebody so-"

Ripping out of Relena's grasp, Heero stared at her coldly.

"I DON'T love you, Relena."

Leaving Relena to gape after him, Heero ran into their house to see Duo hastily stuff his belongings into a suitcase. Heero stood at the door, too shocked to do anything.

"Duo, I'm-"

Duo glared at Heero, wiping his tears off quickly with the sleeve of his shirt. The bruise on his cheek was painfully noticeable, a dark blue-red against Duo's pale white skin.

"What the fuck do you want, Heero? I suppose your going to say that your sorry, that you love me. Fuck, I can't stand this! Why? Why does our relationship have to be kept so secret?? Are you embarrassed? You afraid that somebody will insult the 'high-and-mighty-perfect soldier-Yuy' for being homosexual? Fine, so you are homosexual. It's time you faced reality, Heero. I won't stay home and be your fucking sex toy."

Slamming the lid of the suitcase down, Duo pushed past Heero and out of the house. Heero watched hopelessly as Duo stopped a taxi and drove away. Dejectedly returning back to their room, he sat on their bed and hung his head. Spotting a ripped picture on the ground, He picked it up. It was a picture of them together, right after the war. Duo had slung his arms around Heero right before Quatre took the picture, resulting in a picture of Duo smiling with his arms around him, and him glaring at Duo. He found himself suddenly angry at himself. Duo had been right. He had refused to take their relationship out into the public, forcing Duo to keep it a secret. And like the bastard he was, he had hit Duo, all because he was afraid to face the facts. He hung his head, the loss of Duo hurting him more than he'd ever been hurt before.

~*~

Duo entered the tiny, dirty apartment he had rented, dropping his suitcase in the living room. He had come to a small colony named Catalina, the furthest away from L1 he could find. He had used one of the old passports he had used during the war, when he had to transport somewhere without getting caught. There was something about changing identities that made him feel slightly better. It was like leaving your past behind to start a new life. He knew it was never easy to forget, though. Thoughts of Heero was still hurting him. He threw his real passport into the waste basket and opened his fake one. A picture of him was on it, but with it, his new name. Max Solo. He sighed. It was going to be hell, living without Heero. Well, it had also been hell living after the Maxwell Church was destroyed. It was going to be hard, but he'd make it. Somehow.

~*~

"He what?"

"He left."

"Heero, you are the most..the most stupidest, most ignorant person in the whole universe!!!"

Heero nodded slowly, not surprised at all that Quatre was shouting at him like that. He deserved it. He almost wanted Quatre to tie him up and torture him.

"I.he.There's no trace of him under the name Duo Maxwell. There is, although, a person that left this colony with the name, Max Solo. I remember that he used to talk about a childhood friend named Solo. He's..he's in Catalina."

Heero rattled off the facts like a mission log. It wasn't too hard, finding Duo. It was living without Duo that was the hard part. He sighed.

"Gone!! Heero, I can't believe you just let him.let him."

Quatre stopped when he saw Heero, his head hanging dejectedly and his shoulders hunched. He knew that Heero had probably been deriving himself of the healthy amount of food or sleep for weeks. He felt a slight pang of guilt. He shouldn't have been too hard on him. He lay a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"Heero, if you know where he is, it can't be a problem finding him, right?"

"I don't know if he'll.I don't know how to approach him. I don't even know if he's going to forgive me."

Heero sounded so lost and miserable that Quatre knew that if he didn't do something to help his depressed friend, him, Heero and Duo would be miserable for the rest of their lives. He knew that Duo was too stubborn to admit it, but he probably was having a harder time than Heero was. If that was possible.

//How come I always end up as the peace maker??//

"Heero, You're sure that Duo's on Catalina, right?"

"Yes."

"Then instead of going there, you can drop flyers. You know how some companies advertise their products by dumping flyers on cities by plane? If you write a note up for me, I could send it to the Catalina flyer place and tell them to drop flyers in the city he's living in."

Quatre smiled encouragingly at Heero. Heero, brightening up considerably, nodded and headed to his room to write his flyer to Duo.

"Ryoukai."

~*~

Duo woke up to find himself depressed, cold, lonely, and with a killer hang over. It had been about a month since he had left Heero but he was still tossing and turning in bed, haunted by dreams of Heero. Every morning he woke up, expecting to be in Heero's warm embrace, and every morning his hopes fell. He wasn't expecting Heero to find him, but there was a small flicker of hope that maybe, just maybe Heero would walk into his apartment one day and say that he was sorry or.or something. He sighed. He knew it would never happen. Maybe he should have just not changed his identity so Heero could actually find him. Or maybe Heero wasn't looking for him at all. Maybe Heero was waiting for him to leave. Maybe..Duo shook his head. These thoughts got worse the more he thought of them.

"Why is it always harder to stop loving somebody??"

~*~

"ARG!!"

With a frustrated scream, Heero crumpled up another piece of paper and tossed it into the mountain of crumpled pieces of paper in the waste basket. He didn't know what he wanted to write on the flyers. He thought that it would be easy, but now that he was writing it, there was no way he could dump his whole heart and soul into a lousy piece of paper. He glared at the insulting piece of paper and picked up his pen, chewing thoughtfully on the tip.

'I'm sorry, Duo.'

No.

'Come back to me, Duo.'

Definitely no.

'Even though you changed your name..'

Hell no.

'I miss you, Duo.'

N-O.

'Duo, I searched every where for you. I miss you. I care for you. Come back to me and I'll tell Relena that I love you.'

Suddenly, a lightbulb popped up over Heero's head and he quickly scribbled a couple words onto the paper and ran to the phone to call Quatre. After copying down Heero's note, Quatre nodded, smiling. Heero hung up the phone, his stomache suddenly fluttering. All he had to do was wait and hope.

//Please come back to me, Duo.//

~*~

Duo gazed at the park from his perch on the park bench, his eyes seeing but unseeing. He could see the laughing families and happy couples, but he could also see memories of him and Heero, tackling eachother in a deserted park. It had only been 2 months ago. Only? The past two months had been hell. Unable to sleep, eat, or work, he found himself thinking of Heero 24/7, finally getting fired from his job at a small factory and getting kicked out from the apartment for not paying the rent. He was completely jobless, moneyless, and worst of all, Heero-less. The happiness surrounding the whole park was nearly driving him insane. How could these people be so happy when he was so miserable?? He glared at the happy couples, willing them to fall over and die. Maybe then they could feel his misery. He sighed. What was he thinking? He had gone quickly from depressed, to evil. Suddenly, the roaring of several planes could be heard, cutting Duo off from his thoughts. He looked up into the sky. The planes were dumping out hundreds of paper flyers from the sky, making them fall around the whole park like snow. It was beautiful. The children yelled and squealed, trying to catch as many flyers as possible. Wow. He hadn't seen them do this in a long time. Nobody advertised with flyers anymore. Maybe it was a job offer. Slightly more interested, Duo held out a hand and caught one of the flyers. Suddenly, his eyes were wide open and his jaw hit the ground. All around him, the flyers had the same exact message on them.

"To all the inhabitants of Catalina: Former Gundam Pilot loves former Gundam Pilot Duo Maxwell. Aishiteru, Duo."

~*~

"You guys! Come in!!"

Duo ushered the other pilots into the kitchen, all smiles and laughter. Heero was in the backyard, cooking the hamburgers with a blue apron that read: 'Kiss the cook.' Duo had bought it for him, saying that he had to be kissed everytime he wore it. All five pilots chattered and laughed together, just happy to be together. It had been a few weeks after Duo returned from Catalina and everybody was happy to have him back. Dinner was finally served and Heero and Duo took their places in the chairs they had set up in the back yard. The talking was quieted down when Heero stood up from his seat. He took Duo's hand and led him to the front of the table. Staring into Duo's eyes, Heero laced strong arms around Duo's waist. He waited for a few minutes, making sure that everybody's eyes were on them.

"Heero.."

Closing the few inches distance between them, Heero captured Duo's lips with his own. For a few seconds, Duo was too shocked to do anything, then he slowly returned the kiss, wrapping his arms around Heero's neck. When they finally broke apart, both of them were panting slightly, staring deep into each other's eyes, reading feelings and emotions from each other that words could never express.

"Heero.everybody's.watching." Duo whispered, breathlessly.

"I want them to see."

Duo blushed a little, unable to stop his eyes from stinging with tears. How could he ever have doubted Heero?

"Can.can we do that again?"

Smirking, Heero leaned down to kiss Duo again.

"As many times as you want, koi."

~*~

~Owari

~*~