Disclaimers: I don't own the characters

Warning: Um I wrote it...it's bad it's kinda mean and very mean to chickens and Relena at one point oh and christians too.

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Trowa steps out onto the stage wearing a black business suit and red time, walking behind the podium he folds his hands neatly on top of it.

Trowa: *clears his throat* Good evening everyone and welcome to three faces of flames. We are here today to clearly identify the three kinds of flames that exisit. And giving a deminstration of each kind of flame my assisstant Duo Maxwell. Please welcome Duo to the stage. * claps politely even when whistles and hoots come from the audience*

Duo: * steps on the stage in his usual outfit*

DFC: *scream* DUO WE LOVE YOU! * scream*

Trowa: ... Ok then. Duo are you ready?

Duo: * busy preening for his admires*

Trowa: Duo.

Duo: * Still preening*

Trowa: DUO!

Duo: Huh? Oh yeah I'm ready.

Trowa:...

Duo: Really!

Trowa: Fine then... we- Duo stop preening.

Duo: *mid-preen* Sorry.

Trowa: As I was saying...we'll start with the most obvious kind of flame called * pulls down a black screen* I.A.A.O.L meaning I am an obessive looney, Or Infernio's for short flames of this nature tend to be loud and direct and badly typed often leaving the flamee wondering about the flamer's sanity as well as age and levels of education completed. Duo would you mind giving us a demonstration?

Duo: *clears his throat* Y- What am I flaming?

Trowa:...let's go with yaoi

Duo:...but I like yaoi.

Trowa: So do I...but the the writers are already touchy about the Relena and the chicken story you wrote so leave them alone right now.

Duo: But it was a maaaaaaaaaale chicken...what were they bitchin about anyway!

Trowa:... Fine flame Amanda

Duo: *brightens* Ok! YOUR WRITING SUCK YOU CAN'T SPEL AND DOU WOULD NECER DO ANYTHENG LOKE THAT BEACUSE HE IS IN LUV WITH HIRE AND HEERO LUVS RELANEA SO U DON'T RIGHT STUFF LOKE THAT R I WILL KILL YOU CASUE YOU SUCK! HEERO N RELENA 4 EVER! How was that?

Trowa:...

DFC: * Clapping* OHHHH DUO WE LOVE YOU! * insert Pepper like laughter here* ( you know from Histeria)

Trowa: *winces* Thank you Duo...

Duo: * gives a thumbs up and gulps down a glass of water*

Trowa: Now why Duo is recovering let's go on to the next form of flame the second form is * pulls down another screen* The landslide flamers. Basically they are flamers that come across as sane and reasonable for the beginning of the flame and disagree with you in a polite manner and gradually go downhill slowly revealing their instabilty till finally at the end of the flame they are shrieking like the lunitiacs they are. Duo a demonstration please...

Duo: *clears his throat smiling* Right ok. Hello Amanda is it? Hi it's nice to see you cute page you have here and everything but I really don't like yaoi I think it's GROSS and disgusting and all people who write such filth should be burned at the stake and have their ashes spit upon by the good decent God fearing people in America. I know what people like you are up too. You should be very ashamed of yourself for writing trash like this and I demand that you take it down now! IT'S SICK it's PERVERTED and it's NASTY! Heero and Duo would NEVER EVER do anything like you have them written doing! Why don't you write them with those nice GIRLS on the show like a normal person and stop trying to corrupt children! You make me SICK! SICK! SICK!

Trowa: Thank you Duo...

DFC: DUO! DUO! DUO! * Pepper laugh*

Trowa: Ok then that leaves our final form of flame * pulls down another screen* The Christian flame...both yaoi and het lemon writers alike have suffered this one but I'm afraid yaoi writers get it the worst. Duo a demonstration please...

Duo: * finishes his third glass of water* Riiight! Ok... You should be ashamed of yourself this filth is an insult to God! You should get down on you're knees and pray this instant and repent you're evil ways! Sick things like this is why God destroyed Sodom in the first place! He did it so that good people wouldn't be corrupted by sick trash like this! YOU'RE GOING TO HELL!

DFC: *blinks* WAIIIII DUO WE LOVE YOU * Pepper laugh*

Trowa: Ok then...thank you those are our three kinds of flames...thank you all and I hope you have a safe trip home.

DFC: DUO! *Pepper laugh*

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I wasn't trying to offend Relena lovers or Christians....but when you get deal with the more extreme ones you tend to feel the need to poke.