Last revised: 02/10/00

Here's the next part of my GW/Ranma semi-xover. ^_^

BTW, while the victims have a vague knowledge of their curses, they may not be aware of the various subtleties of their individual curses.

Thanks to Jacque (firewolf@pacific.net.sg) for the suggestions about the goldfish bowl... <chuckle>

Please fasten your seat belt and securely stow your sanity in the overhead compartments or under the seat in front of you.

Warning - General craziness ahead....

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MUDDLED WATERS
A Gundam Wing semi-xover fanfic by Madamhydra
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Part 1
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Short Disclaimer: (Full Disclaimers at the end)
Gundam Wing and other series are copyright of their respective creators and all distributors of their work and used without permission.
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There was a sharp rap on the bathroom door of the plush hotel suite. When there was no response, the door opened. A giant panda, a pair of gleaming glasses perched precariously on its muzzle, stood on its hind legs in the doorway and cautiously peered inside before walking into the bathroom. Less than ten minutes ago, the oversized bathtub had been nearly full of steaming hot water, but now it was now full of floating ice-encased rose petals. The panda hastily stomped over to the tub and stared down worriedly, then shook its massive furry head in relief as it saw a long, serpentine shape slowly swimming around the bottom of the tub. It whuffed softly.

Suddenly a gleaming crested head with fanciful eyebrows erupted from the ice-clogged surface of the bathwater. The tub's occupant, an exquisite miniature oriental dragon with shimmering silver and sapphire scales, propped its clawed forearms on the tub rim and stared up at the panda.

The panda held up a sign reading, {Treize-sama?}

Tugging nervously on its elegant whiskers, it said, "Une, I'm feeling a bit... peculiar."

{!!!}

Treize hastily explained in a slightly husky voice, "I'm not ill! It's just that...." He wiggled his long serpentine body uneasily, sending the near-freezing water slopping to the floor. "I just feel... I don't know... restless. As if I needed to do something, but I'm not sure exactly what.... It's like an itch I can't quite scratch...." He cocked his head slightly and said, "And what happened to you?"

The panda adjusted its glasses and responded, {I was standing on the balcony.} Une-panda flipped the sign. {It started raining. I got wet.}

"Oh, then I'll vacate the tub."

{Not necessary at all.}
{I'll use the hot water from the sink.}
{What happened to you?}

Treize-ryu grinned sourly. "Well, it seems that the cold water faucet got stuck wide open when the tub was filling and I didn't check the water temperature before I got in."

{Oh. That's weird.}

"I've had the most absurdly bad luck with water ever since we all fell into those damn Chinese springs!"

{I know,} Une-panda noted and rolled her eyes.

"Well, I'm just glad that I can keep my cursed ice dragon form from chilling water instantly on contact. Otherwise, I wouldn't ever be able to regain my human form!"

Une-panda shuddered eloquently.

{Well, at least you and Zechs can still talk....}

"I suppose I should be grateful for small things. And speaking of Zechs, what is he doing at the moment?"

{Doing his best to empty the liquor cabinet.}

Staggering into the bathroom, an obviously intoxicated Zechs Merquise muttered, "That shounds... like a terrific <hic> idea."

"Ah, the foxy one speaks!" Treize-ryu quipped, raising one of his sweeping silvery eyebrows.

"Don't call me that!"

"Take it easy. I'm just pulling your tails...."

"Damn it!" Zechs swore as he stalked belligerently toward the tub.

Treize-ryu grinned, exposing a mouthful of dainty, needle sharp fangs. It only took a slight ripple of his powerful tail to send a wave of icy bathwater splashing over Zechs.

"You were saying?" the silvery sapphire mini-dragon said with a smirk.

The golden-furred fox that was Zechs-kitsune glared at Treize, lashed its five tails in annoyance, and howled, "Trrrreize!"

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Just about that moment, three of the hotel's four water heaters experienced a series of catastrophic leaks just as a hungry rat chewed its way through a critical wire in the fourth heater.

By the time the outraged Zechs-kitsune had given up on chasing an extremely nimble Treize-ryu all over the hotel suite, there wasn't a drop of hot water in the entire hotel's plumbing system.

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Back on the prestigious Rinkan Campus, Heero Yuy -- the person who jumped off multi-story buildings without a parachute and who set his own broken bones -- almost did the unthinkable.

He nearly fainted.

He came within a hairsbreadth of passing out as Duo started to babble out the tale of his and the other pilots' unfortunate visit to the valley of the cursed springs, otherwise known as Jusenkyo. As the Wing pilot stood there in a state of near-paralysis, only a few scattered words registered in his dazed consciousness.

".... curse... splash with cold water... Trowa... this cute little piglet... Quatre... golden wildcat... Wufei... firelizard... change back... hot water...."

Duo's story finally ended with a weak chuckle. "And you can see what happened to me...." His voice trailed off as he looked worriedly at Heero who was doing a pretty good imitation of a marble statue. Duo didn't need to be a mindreader to guess the thoughts racing through the cobalt-eyed boy's head.

(Does not compute... floating point error... division by zero... system overload....)

Duo suddenly became of aware of a strange, oddly pleasant sensation that nearly made her... his toes curl. He glanced down and blushed furiously when he identified the source of that peculiar *nice* sensation.

In his dazed state, Heero seemed totally unaware that he still had his hand on Duo's right breast and was gently kneading it.

"Hey... Heero, do you mind? Oi! Earth to Heero!" Failing to get an immediate response, Duo brushed Heero's hand away from his breast and struggled to close up her shirt. Unfortunately, in his earlier fit of anger, Heero had torn off several of the buttons.

"A... girl?" Heero finally managed to choke out.

"Yeah, a girl... but it's not like it's permanent, ya know!"

"A girl." The Wing pilot's gaze drifted downward to the vicinity of Duo's groin, then he yanked up Duo's skirt, exposing a very mundane pair of white panties.

The Deathscythe pilot took a hasty step backward. Still clutching the edges of his shirt, Duo blurted out, "Jeez, Heero! Just take my word for it! And if you try grabbing my crotch, I'll bloody well clobber you!"

A sharp female voice said, "And well you should! MISTER YUY, JUST WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING? UNHAND HER THIS INSTANT!"

A startled Heero jumped, his hand instinctively reaching behind his back as he whirled around to face the same steely vice-principal, Ms. Jinchu, that Duo had encountered earlier.

Duo hastily grabbed Heero's arm and giggled nervously.

"It wasn't like that at all! I... I ran into a door and tore my uniform. Heero was just making sure I hadn't hurt myself elsewhere!"

The vice-principal gave the two Gundam pilots a skeptical glare. Duo snuck a quick peek at Heero and was amazed to see a faint, but distinct blush on the other boy's face.

"The Rinkan Campus is an educational institution of the highest academic and moral standards. Do you understand me? Since both of you are new here, I will ignore this first transgression, but if I catch either of you in similarly compromising situations, I will take immediate and swift disciplinary action. Is that clear?"

Duo's braid bounced as he nodded hastily. Heero merely glowered at the older woman until a sharp elbow jab from the Deathscythe pilot induced him to give the vice-principal a sullen nod.

"Humph. Due to the computer error regarding your sex, Miss Maxwell, you had been assigned to share a double with Mr. Yuy. Obviously, that WILL NOT DO. And with the renovations of the female dormitories, we are somewhat limited as to alternative housing. Therefore, you've been reassigned to a large triple with two more transfer students."

Although Duo smiled enthusiastically at this news, inside he was muttering, (Shit! Shit! SHIT!)

Before the vice-principal could continue, Duo quickly said, "About that computer error...."

"Yes, Miss Maxwell?"

"I think someone in the registration office got confused and got me mixed up with my twin brother."

Ms. Jinchu's eyebrows rose. "Your... twin brother...?"

"Yeah." When the older woman scowled at the unladylike language, Duo hastily corrected himself. "I mean, yes. My twin brother, Duo Maxwell."

"Wait a moment, your twin brother has the exact same name as you!?"

"Well, my real first name is Deux, but I usually go by the name 'Duo'. I don't know, it just seems to roll off the tongue a bit easier." Duo gave the vice-principal his most charmingly demure smile, which quickly faded to a worried expression. "There was... an accident involving several members of my family very recently. No one died, but still.... My brother stayed behind to help sort out the details. He still plans to attend this school, but I'm not sure when he'll arrive." Duo's shoulders shook slightly as he stared at the ground.

With a sigh, the vice-principal's steely expression softened slightly. She scolded, "You should have told us sooner!"

Duo gave her his most innocent and confused violet-eyed look. "I'm *so* sorry! But things have been terribly hectic!"

"Very well, come with me so we can straighten out this mess. Also, you can't go around with your shirt gaping open like that, so we'll have to fix THAT, too." Ms. Jinchu's expression hardened as she turned to Heero.

"Mr. Yuy, I hope that I've made things quite clear. I expect you to behave with appropriate decorum. I will not permit you to take advantage of Miss Maxwell or any other girl on this campus, so I *will* be keeping a very close eye on you. Understood?"

Heero gave her a curt nod.

"Then return to class. Come along, Miss Maxwell."

As he followed the vice-principal, Duo glanced back at Heero and gave him a quick wink and a little wave of his hand.

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Heero watched Duo and the vice-principal reenter the building, then grouchily stalked off in the opposite direction. He rounded a corner only to be confronted by a group of eight male upperclassmen, all impeccably attired in the school uniform. The leader, a slim, rather beautiful young man with long black hair thoughtfully eyed the rose in his hand and drawled, "Tsk tsk. How terribly gauche and déclassé. I don't know what sort of manners your old school taught you, but that simply will not do here at Rinkan. And to compound your faux-pas, you have chosen to inflict your unwelcome attentions on the gorgeous Miss Maxwell."

His companions made general sounds of disapproval.

Heero glared dangerously at the leader and growled, "Who the hell are you?"

"My name is Norton Jamieson-Atherton and I happen to be the president of your class, Mr. Yuy. As such, it is my responsibility to ensure the student body behaves appropriately. Sometimes that requires taking somewhat forceful disciplinary measures."

"Oh?" the Wing pilot retorted in singularly unimpressed tones.

"I see you're going to be stubborn and difficult about this. We know you were the person responsible for tearing Miss Maxwell's uniform and no doubt you were also responsible for the look of distress in her lovely eyes."

"Lovely eyes," Heero said flatly.

"And I cannot permit such behavior to go unpunished."

"Whatever happens between Duo and myself is none of your damn business."

"On the contrary, I consider to be very much my business. Your rudeness in using her first name without permission is just an example of your egregious behavior." Norton brushed his long hair back and said, "Therefore, I challenge you to a duel."

"A WHAT!?" Heero growled.

"A sword duel. You do know how to fence, don't you? Or did your previous school neglect to teach you THAT as well as forgetting to teach you manners? Tomorrow in the fencing gym at 5 PM. Don't make me come looking for you."

"Hey, YOU! Yuy!!!" a loud obnoxious voice bellowed.

Both Norton and Heero turn to see a heavily muscled student and two equally muscular companions appear from behind the building and stomp toward them.

"Are you talking to me?" Heero snapped.

Norton murmured, "Ah, the testosterone brigade finally arrives. Mr. Yuy, you have the dubious pleasure of meeting the captain of the rugby team, Mr. Tom Pecker." The class president seemed to take an inordinate amount of pleasure in drawing out the bigger teenager's last name.

"You friggin' well know that I'm talking to you, Yuy! Me and my buds don't take it kindly when new guys like you waltz in here and try stealing all our girls!"

"Your... girls?" Norton murmured in exquisitely skeptical tones, then sniffed in contempt.

"Shut up, Mister Fancypants Class Prez, before I flatten you!" Pecker yelled. The muscle-bound young man seemed incapable of anything quieter than a low roar.

"You and which army? Those brainless gorillas crouched behind you?" the elegant black-haired student retorted.

"I don't need nobody's help to deal with the likes of you!" the bulky teenager shouted furiously.

"Indeed." Norton sighed eloquently. "It's no wonder that the ladies here need protection from clods like you."

"Don't give me that crap! I know what the hell you're up to! You're just trying to scare Yuy off so you can get into that Maxwell girl's panties!"

With a distinct tic developing in his cheek, Heero growled in disgust and started turned away, but a heavy ham-like hand clamped down on his shoulder.

"Hey! I'm not through with you, Yuy!"

As Heero started to turn on Pecker, one of Norton's companions made a particularly nasty taunt about penis sizes at the rugby captain's buddies, who retaliated with wildly swinging fists.

As he was dragged into the developing brawl, there was only one thought in Heero's mind.

(Duo, I'm going to KILL you for getting me into this mess!)

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(Thank god I followed my gut instincts and set up a separate identity for my female form!) Duo thought as he followed the vice principal to his new room assignment.

After spending a good half hour sorting out the school's registration records, the older woman's icy demeanor had softened considerably. As they walked down the halls, she placed her hand on Duo's shoulder in a friendly sort of gesture.

"Miss Maxwell, I've already had your things moved into your new room."

Clutching the spare shirt he had been given to replace the one Heero had torn, Duo asked cheerfully, "Oh thanks! So who are my two new roommates?"

"They are well-bred young ladies from highly influential families."

"Really?" the Deathscythe pilot chirped with innocent awe.

As they approached the open door at the end of the hallway, Duo could hear some loudly complaining female voices demanding separate rooms. The voices sounded almost familiar.

"This is impossible. I can't possibly room with HER!" said one of the unseen females.

An older woman wearily replied, "I'm sorry, but with the renovations going on, there simply aren't any other rooms available right now. It will only be for a month or two, until the construction is completed."

Duo halted and looked uncertainly at the vice-principal, who patted him soothingly on the back and said, "Don't be afraid, Miss Maxwell. You have an rare opportunity here. Not everyone gets the chance to become roommates with people like Dorothy Catalonia and Relena Peacecraft."

Only by an incredible act of willpower did Duo keep himself from cutting loose with a stream of paint-blistering obscenities as the vice-principal firmly nudged him through the open door to confront two very familiar young women.

Dorothy looked more flustered than Duo could ever remember. And was the Peacecraft actually sporting a black eye?

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Unable to change out of her panda form due to the lack of hot water, Une resigned herself to sitting on the floor and drinking cold tea. A sulky looking Zechs-kitsune was sitting on the bed, grooming his ruffled fur with elaborate care as he pointedly ignored everyone else in the room. As for Treize, the miniature ice dragon was sitting on the balcony rail, staring out over the city.

Suddenly, without warning, Treize suddenly took to the air and disappeared with a sinuous flick of his silvery blue tail.

She tried to yell, but all that came out of her throat was a muffled "Whuff!"

Zechs bounded over to her side and muttered, "Where the hell does he think he's going?"

Une could only shrug helplessly.

At that moment, there was a sharp knock on the suite's front door.

"Lord Treize? This is Lucrezia Noins! I'm looking for Zechs. Is he in there?"

Zechs-kitsune and Une-panda stared at each other in consternation.

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Back in Sally's clinic, Wufei and the others finally managed to revive the good doctor and explain their current situation.

The mission had been innocent enough -- to check out some unusual OZ activity near a mountain range in what used to be China and to obtain samples of the air, soil, and water. However, through several incredible accidents, Duo, Trowa, Quatre, and Wufei had each fallen into one of the cursed springs in the valley known as Jusenkyo.

In a daze, Sally muttered, "But it's not permanent?"

Still in his draconic cursed form, Wufei said testily, "Cold water triggers the curse and makes us transform. Hot water causes us to change back to normal."

"Well, then. I suppose the first order of business is to change all of you back into your human forms."

Quatre-neko, who had been staring fixedly at the inhabitants of a goldfish bowl perched on a sidetable, failed to respond.

"Quatre?" Sally loudly repeated, giving him an odd look.

The wildcat jumped and with a slightly guilty expression on its face, he whipped out a sign reading, {Thank you!}

The doctor shook her head. "I'm not even going to ask how you can do this stuff with the signs. But can Trowa do that?"

The little brown piglet somberly shook its head.

"Fascinating. Who would believe that magical curses existed in this day and age." She headed into her kitchen and soon returned with a steaming kettle.

Wufei-draco suddenly zoomed in and snatched the hot water out of her hands.

"What are you doing?" Sally demanded.

"Onna, I refuse to change in front of you!"

She scowled at him and snapped, "Listen! It's not as if a nude male body is going to bother me! I'm a doctor, remember?"

In annoyance, the draconic Wufei snorted out a cloud of smoke which sent Sally coughing before he flew up the stairs in search of some privacy.

Propping her hands on her hips, Sally muttered, "I swear that boy...." She glanced at Quatre-neko and Trowa-chan. "I guess I'll have to get some more hot water...."

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Upstairs, Wufei had just set the kettle down on the table when he sensed someone staring at him. Still in his miniature fire dragon form, he turned his head slowly and froze. Perched on the edge of the open second-story window was another miniature dragon... a silver and blue serpentine dragon.

But what unnerved Wufei the most was the decidedly lustful gleam in the other dragon's brilliant sapphire eyes. Even as he stared, the silvery blue dragon delicately licked its lips with a long flicking tongue.

He held a clawed forehand up and said nervously, "Now wait a moment here. There's some mistake...."

"No mistake," the other dragon purred as it eyed Wufei hungrily.

"Yes there is!" the ruby-scaled mini-dragon babbled. "I'm not who you think I am!" Wufei grabbed the kettle and dumped half its contents over his head. In an instant, he had returned to his human form. Naturally, he was stark naked, too.

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Watching the handsome ruby and gold male dragon he had tracked down turn into an unclothed Wufei Chang was almost the last straw for Treize-ryu's hormone-addled mind. He slowly flew forward, his long, silvery blue body twisting and coiling provocatively in midair.

"Now... now hold it, you... you FEMALE! Have you no morals! I'm not even the same species!" Wufei howled.

"Oh, but we can take care of that VERY easily," Treize cooed. In
a flash, he was hovering over the kettle which was still half full of
steaming hot water. A sharp exhalation of whitish blue mist instantly
chilled the water to near freezing. Treize grabbed the kettle in his
forepaws and turned toward the wide-eyed Wufei.

"My darling little dragon... my beautiful one...." Treize advanced with predatory intensity, kettle of icy water in claw.

"What the... no, stay back! I'm warning you... keep away from me! Don't you dare...!"

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A sudden series of loud crashes and thuds from upstairs instantly grabbed Sally's, Quatre-neko's, and Trowa-chan's attention.

"What the hell is he DOING up there?" she wondered, then her jaw nearly hit the floor as a naked human Wufei leapt down the stairs, taking them three and four at a time. He skidded to a stop at the foot of the steps, and glanced behind him with a terrified expression. He abruptly jumped to the center of the room, just as a splash of water flew through the space where he had just been standing.

Before Sally and the other pilots' stupefied gazes, a silvery blue, wingless dragon zoomed in the room and shrieked in obvious frustration. Its elegantly crested head flicked from side to side, searching. When it sighted Sally's goldfish bowl, it hissed in triumph and swooped straight for it.

"KISAMA!!!"

When she saw the panicked Chinese pilot headed for the obvious exit, Sally shouted, "No! Don't go out there! It's still...!"

Wufei stepped outside and instantly turned back into his draconic cursed form.

"....raining...," Sally finished weakly.

Wufei-draco squawked indignantly, then turned tail and fled into the air at top speed. The silvery blue dragon chuckled throatily and with a lazy flick of its long tail, set off in pursuit.

Quatre-neko's sign said, {I *REALLY* do not want to know....}

The little brown piglet with the one visible green eye nodded solemnly.

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Unfortunately, Wufei had no way of knowing that the relentlessness of a female dragon in heat could make Heero Yuy seem like a scatter-brained airhead.

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Author's Notes:

For anyone not familiar with Ranma 1/2, Jusenkyo is full of springs that curse people who fall in one of its springs. A cursed person changes into different sex, person, animal, monster, or entity when hit with cold water. The cursed individual reverts back to his/her normal form and/or personality when doused with hot water. I'm borrowing the basic idea of Jusenkyo curses from Ranma 1/2, but I've changed a few things to suit my own crazy whims. ^_^

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A quick guide to the curses:
Duo - Spring of the Drowned Girl
Trowa - Spring of the Drowned Piglet
Quatre - Spring of the Drowned Desert Wildcat
Wufei - Spring of the Drowned Male Fire Mini-Dragon
Treize - Spring of the Drowned Female Ice Mini-Dragon
Une - Spring of the Drowned Panda
Zechs - Spring of the Drowned 5-Tailed Kitsune
Dorothy - Spring of the Drowned Sex Kitten Neko-girl

and last, but not least....

Relena - Spring of the Nearly Drowned Indestructible Hentai Teenage Boy, also known as the Spring of the Nearly Drowned Ataru (of Urusei Yatsura fame)

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Quotes from upcoming parts....

-- A frantic Wufei-draco yelped, "Duo! She's after me!!! You've GOT to HIDE ME!!!" as he scrambled all over the braided teenager in a desperate attempt to crawl inside Duo's shirt.

-- A school counselor said, "Miss Maxwell, do you know that your twin brother has a slight problem with crossdressing?"

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madamhydra@aol.com /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/:E
http://www.geocities.com/madamhydra/
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The Full Disclaimer
All rights and privileges to Shin Kidousenki Gundam Wing are trademarks and property of Sunrise, Bandai, Sotsu Agency, and associated parties. All rights and privileges to Ranma 1/2 belong to Rumiko Takahashi, Shogakukan, Viz Communications, Inc., and associated parties. The characters of these works are used WITHOUT permission for the purpose of entertainment only. This work of fiction is not meant for sale or profit.
Original portion of the fiction included here is considered to be the sole property and copyrighted to the author.
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