One thing I'll say for being home for the holidays... the family can provide an endless source of inspirational material. <wry grin>

This fits somewhere after the "Reaching Toward Understanding" arc. Read it under Lys ap Adin at if you haven't.

The Way We Used to Argue

I remember the time when it wasn't like this when we fought.

Then things were different. We would be in the middle of a shouting match, and your shoulders would tense, and you'd turn, like you were going to walk away, maybe for good. But you never took that first step, and you'd turn around and look at me, and then somehow it wouldn't matter anymore what we'd been arguing about in the first place. Or maybe I'd be ready to put my fist through the wall because I was so damn furious, and I'd look at you, and instead of breaking my hand open, I'd reach out and run my fingers down the side of your face, and everything would be okay again.

We don't shout at each other anymore.

It's a funny thing to miss, those times when we'd scream at each other till our throats gave out on us. But I miss them anyway. We'd infuriate each other, and yell until all the anger and the frustration was gone, and then we'd go back to the business of being madly in love.

Maybe that's what's changed. We got older. Complacent. Love isn't as urgent as it was when we were still trembling from the terror of nearly giving up before we ever got started. We're comfortable, with each other and this life we've built together.

It's such wretchedly stupid stuff that we fight over. Whether I'm doing my fair share of the housework, or where we should eat dinner. Or, like tonight, me having two beers too many with my dinner and giving you a hard time when you wanted to go into the computer store to look around. Our fights end now with one or the other of us sighing exasperatedly and lashing out, like you did, and then the other drawing back, feeling hurt and innocent, like me. Then we lapse into stony silence until something happens to bring us out of our sulking fits.

And nothing changes.

I miss the way we used to argue.


There may be more. I'm not sure.

Feedback greatly appreciated.