And another Mission: Suburbia fic (thanks, Top Ace!)... This popped into my head while I was bored at work...

AU, OOC, yaoi, nosy neighbors...

Not mine, although the thought is tempting...

Rekindling the Spark by Lys ap Adin

Furthering his research on his final and most important mission, Heero Yuy flipped through the report, noting cogent points and analyzing the data presented. Seeing a good recipe for a cheese souffle, he paused in his perusal to clip it and set it aside for a later application. Then he moved on, having somehow justified in his mind that reading women's magazines was a perfectly rational thing to be doing in the middle of a sunny afternoon.

After all, it was what most of the housewives on the block did after the daily round of soap operas ended.

Heero knew; he'd conducted an in-depth survey of the neighbors when he and Duo had first accepted this mission.

He clipped one more article on removing stubborn stains from table linens and then noted that it was fourteen hundred hours--time for the afternoon talk shows to begin.

Heero settled himself in front of the television expectantly. He didn't really care about the show, its ditzy host, or the generally trashy guests, but watching was a must for anyone in the neighborhood who spent the weekday at home.

"Today on Gab: Is your relationship stagnating? Think your man might be getting bored? Afraid the spark in your relationship is dead? Tune in today and find out if it's time to heat up the old bedroom, ten signs that he's cheating, plus special guest expert Dana Peterson to give us all tips on how to get his attention--and keep it."

Heero felt faintly miffed. What, no sleazy guests with scandalous secrets they couldn't wait to spill on network television?

He watched the show mostly on autopilot, until the segment regarding the slackening of passion and the urge to go astray when the bedrooms sheets cooled off.

"Is your love life becoming routine?"

Heero considered the question, tuning out the chirpy host for a moment. *Hn... come home from work... either cuddle or screw like rabid weasels.. fall asleep in each other's arms... Repeat... Damn, it _is_ routine.*

He completely missed the part about the *lack* of sex being worse, and tuned back in to hear the host announce, "This is bad. Boredom in a relationship is a key factor in breakups and infidelity--"

*Masaka. Duo wouldn't... would he?*

"However, there *is* hope. Please welcome Dana Peterson to the show!"

Heero pondered the new, troubling thought as the audience applauded. *Duo would never be unfaithful to me... it'd mean mission failure...*

"Infidelity is very common, especially in long-term relationships where life together becomes routine--for example, the archetypal middle class marriage."

*K'so.* Heero immediately started thinking about all the "friends" Duo had at the Preventers' headquarters... scrutinizing how they liked to stare at *his* braided baka... and how Duo flirted with *everyone*, regardless of gender.

Now thoroughly disturbed, he leaned forward and listened intently as the host and her guest chatted about various ways to keep a partner's attention.

After a few minutes, he started taking notes.

 

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"Wonder if Heero enjoyed his day off," Duo mused out loud to the members of his car pool.

"He probably spent the day acting like a housewife again," Quatre chuckled.

"At least I got him to stop wearing that robe and fuzzy slippers ensemble," Duo said defensively.

"Yes, but did he stop wearing his hair in curlers?" Trowa deadpanned.

"Oh, shut up. If it makes him happy to think he's being normal, who are we to burst his bubble?" Duo retorted.

Quatre and Trowa exchanged looks. "He hasn't stopped, has he?"

Duo sweatdropped. "Well... no..."

 

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Something was amiss. Duo raised an eyebrow, staring at the slightly open front door. *This isn't like Heero...* Duo drew his gun and advanced into the house slowly.

The rich scent of vanilla hit him first. *Nani?* And then he realized he was walking on... rose petals? *What the hell's gotten into him?*

He put the gun away, deciding that a different sort of disturbance was in the air tonight. "Oi, Heero, tadaima!"

Duo followed the trail of rose petals, which led--of course--to the bedroom.

"Okaeri, Duo..."

Duo looked at Heero, who was wearing a film of plastic wrap and nothing else while lounging on the bed, holding a rose between his teeth and surrounded by vanilla-scented candles. He grinned and decided to ask later... after he had unwrapped his present and played with it.

 

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From across the street, Mrs. Betty Schrank shook her head. "They're at it again," she told her neighbor and best friend, Mrs. Shirley Vetchy.

"Well, don't hog the binoculars, I wanna see too!" her best friend complained.

 

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~Owari~

What, you wouldn't spy on Duo and Heero if they lived on your block?

C&C~