Warnings: This is me coping with RL, which took a particularly shitty turn this evening. Language, OOC, death, ranting ahead.
One final note before the fic: For heaven's sake, or whatever afterlife you believe in, if any, if you are *REMOTELY* considering suicide as a solution for your problems, don't fucking do it. You have *NO* idea how damned selfish it is, or how hurtful it is to those left standing, asking Why. I don't care how bad you think things are, because life is one valuable, precious gift, and throwing it away just isn't worth a damn thing... so seek help. Talk to someone. Tell them you're hurting. Because it *CAN* get better, I swear.
That was the most fucking selfish thing you've ever done. The stupidest, too.
What the hell were you thinking? Why did you do it? Was your life so bad that you *had* to end it? Were you so consumed with your own problems that you just stopped caring about the rest of us, and what you'd be doing to us?
I hate you right now, to the very bottom of my heart. I just came from talking to him. He's dying inside right now, ate up with guilt. He's blaming himself for the entire mess that you put him in. We had to sedate him, and he fell asleep mumbling your name and begging you to forgive him.
Damn you. I hope you're fucking well happy now. Does it make you feel good to know that he's tearing himself to pieces over the fact that he couldn't be anything more than your friend? Castigating himself for not being able to be there for you after the times you've been there for him?
Shit. People get their hearts broken all the time, Heero. What made yours so special that you had to kill yourself for it?