<sweats> This is all Sailor Zoisite's fault. I swear. And I've been breathing in too many potato salad fumes, I think.

Merry Christmas or whatever, Zoi-chan. ^_^; And before you ask, yes, you may archive this fic.

Warnings 'n shit: Uh... <sweat>

~~~
Power Struggles

History books are written by the winners, kid--no, not by the Winners, but by the people who end up killing the most of the other side. Anyway, history gets written by the people in charge afterwards, which is why you can't ever trust anything you read.

For example, history books will tell you that Operation Meteor and the power struggles that went on inside Rommefeller and OZ were all political stuff. The history books have it right, sort of. But the problem is this: the history books don't take it far enough. Sure, hell yeah, Tsubarov and Dermail and Dekim Barton--no relation to your Uncle Trowa, kid--were all trying to prove they were the biggest, baddest powerbrokers in town.

The history books just never ask why, you see.

The three of them had this thing going, you understand. Yeah, a thing a lot like your Aunt Relena's, only with the three guys instead of your Aunt Hirde and your Aunt Dorothy. The problem with old Tsubarov, and with Dermail and Dekim was that none of them liked being on bottom.

Well, on bottom. You know... look, kid, don't make me draw you adiagram. Not a one of the three liked being uke.

Yeah, now you get it.

Anyway, they all wanted to be on top, see, and that just doesn't work. So they fought it out the only way they knew how, which is through politics. The way I see it, whichever one was losing the worst to the other two was designated uke. Since Dekim never did seem to come out ahead, he always ended up on bottom. I've been told it rankled, which is probably why that entire unfortunate mess with your cousin Mariemeia came about--

"MAXWELL! STOP FILLING MY SON'S HEAD WITH YOUR NONSENSE!!!"

Geez, Wu, don't have a heart attack. I'm just trying to fill him in on some of the little details history leaves out...

Okay, fine. Be that way. I know where I'm not wanted... I'll just go talk to Tro and Quatre's daughter and see if she knows the real reason Une had two personalities...

~Owari~

<sweats and hides>

Bob: <pause> <considers> Yes, I think we definitely want feedback on this fic...