<sighs> I spent *eleven* hours at work today. >_< And we were so *not* busy... this is the result of Emily's boredom.

Shounen ai, weirdness, cruelty to plants... OOC?

Not mine, please don't sue.

Keeping Heero Busy by Lys ap Adin

Heero Glared at the unfortunate provocation of his wrath. "Omae o korosu," he told it, in the same flat monotone that had couched death sentences to countless OZ soldiers back during the war.

The clump of dandelions tranquilly ignored him.

Heero drew a careful aim on the weed and squirted it with herbicide, the strongest and most efficient brand he had been able to find (and he had done a *great* deal of research on the matter). Within seconds, the dandelion began smoldering, until it dissolved into a steaming mass of sad-looking green and yellow sludge.

Showing no remorse whatsoever, Heero intoned, "Ninmu kanryou," as he carefully removed the still-hissing clod of soil and replace it with a plug of vibrantly green sod. Then he moved on to the next hapless weed.

From the kitchen window, Quatre watched with some concern. "Anou... Duo... about Heero..."

"Yeah, what about him?"

"Don't you think that maybe he's taking the lawn care thing a little too seriously?" Quatre inquired as Heero obliterated a clump of crab grass.

"What, Heero, taking something too seriously?" Duo asked in mock seriousness, joining Quatre at the window. "Not *my* perfect soldier..."

Quatre chuckled. "Okay, good point, but... Even for Heero, this is obsessive."

"What can I say? He read somewhere that one of the signs of truly average domesticity was a suburban house with a white picket fence and a perfect lawn.... You do remember the picket fence fiasco, ne?"

Quatre winced. "Hai... you'd think, as good as he was as a pilot, that he'd be at least sort of handy with his hands."

"One would think," Duo agreed dryly. "You might consider this the second attempt at being a normal homeowner."

"Duo, using a supersoaker filled with ultra-strength Weed-B-Nuked to kill dandelions is *not* normal, even by Heero's standards."

"Yeah, I know, I know, but it keeps him busy. He's never happier than when he has a mission," Duo said fondly. "Which is sort of why I asked you over..."

 

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"Ne, Heero, something," Duo asked a few days later, seeing the unhappy glare on his lover's face.

"I can't understand where those damned weeds are coming from!" he answered, exasperated.

"They're *weeds*, Heero, they spontaneously generate... Everybody knows that," Duo said lazily, snuggling up to Heero.

"But it's not logical... and they're ruining my lawn," Heero grumbled.

Duo grinned. "I think you're doing a wonderful job... Say, would you like me to show you how much I appreciate it?"

Heero smirked faintly. "Ninmu ryoukai." They headed off to bed, shedding clothes as they went.

And outside, the Manguanacs silently spread dandelions seeds across the lawn.

 

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~~Owari~~

See? Told ya it was weird. <chuckles> This is what forty-five minutes of sheer boredom in a checkout line will do to me.... C&C, onegai?