Um. In interest of making noise. Belongs with "Memorial Day"
but as a prequel sort of thing.
Warning: AU, OOC, yaoi, angst, off the cuff, semi-deathficcie.
Indestructible by Lys ap Adin
I always figured that perfect soldiers were indestructible. I mean, the one I knew managed to survive more damage than a cockroach and still kept going. So it seemed perfectly logical to me that he'd always be around, pulling off the stunts that would even make me, daredevil that I am, cringe and avert my eyes, certain that this time would be It.
I guess I was wrong.
It's been a couple years since that day, when the war finally came to a *true* end--when Relena's ideals of absolute pacifism became more than just a pretty dream and started to become a reality.
The day that he finally managed to get himself killed.
I'm pretty sure that he didn't mean to. Trowa and I had been working on him pretty hard, poking at that shell he kept around himself, forcing him to open up and admit the dirty truth--that he was just as human as the two of us.
It's not fair. It's so fucking not fair.
He was learning how to smile for the little things--hell, once or twice, I even got him to laugh. (And let me tell you, getting Heero "I am a stone wall" Yuy to chuckle took a *lot* of doing on my part--almost as much work as it took for me to get Trowa "If I laugh, my face might crack" Barton to crack a smile.) He and Trowa both were learning to let go of the past so that together, the three of us could face the future.
I blame it all on the Maxwell luck, personally. We were just getting to the point where we were happy, comfortable with each other and our lives on the perimeters of normal society.... and then, along comes another damned war.
If that little skirmish can really be called a war. I suppose it doesn't matter. Lives were lost on different sides over the same trivial issues as every war in the history of mankind. In my book, that makes it a war. At first, I wanted to blame it all on Mariemeia and Relena's having allowed herself to be kidnapped... But that's not fair. Mariemeia was really only being manipulated, and Relena wasn't to blame for doing what she does best--trusting in the goodness of humanity to prevail.
Hell, I know he didn't mean to do it. We all needed each other too much for him to even think about deserting us. Adjusting to life after the war was no bed of roses for any of us, even me or Quatre. I mean, come on, we were fifteen, almost sixteen, year old boys who had really been trained from childhood to fight and kill. You can't expect a person to just shrug that off. Heero, and Trowa too, was lost without the mission to guide them... I was lost, too. My ultimate mission--revenge on the Federation for Maxwell Church--was completed. If we hadn't had each other to learn to live for, none of us would have made it through.
We loved each other, as much as it was possible for war-scarred teenagers to love. In retrospect, I think that it was more than I would have guessed. I guess it was pretty odd--three guys, together for more than just the sex? Get real, right?
I can't explain it. Trowa... was there to take care of us when we needed it. Heero provided the strength of will to fulfill the missions that seemed too hard to bear. And I... I guess I was the one to remind them that there's more to life than what came through from the doctors.
It's changed, now, between Trowa and me. Way back when all this started, we came together because of Heero and moved to affection from there. When Heero... died... (God, it still hurts like hell to say it), the two of us were left to ask ourselves and each other if there was anything between us worth salvaging.
Since we're still together, I guess there was. We work pretty well off each other. He keeps me from being too outrageous; I keep him from blocking off the world. We've learned to be strong for each other, and how to laugh together. Is it the same as before? No... Is it better? Maybe.
I do know this. No matter how strong what Trowa and I have is, it's still missing something--or should I say someone? Because, even after this time, there's still a Heero-shaped hole in our lives, and probably always will be. We still love him... and love is indestructible.
Heero: O_o; You killed me.
Duo: Hn. I thought she was out for *my* blood.
Trowa: ...I thought it was Quatre she was going to kill.
Hn. Never question the ficcer's authority. Or her whims.