Okay, a few notes.
This was written in dedication to my grandparents, who are facing a similar position right now. I wrote it without any specific couple from GW in mind; in fact, it isn't necessarily even yaoi unless you want it to be.

It is ANGST.

I just wanted to get this off my chest.

GW isn't mine, so please don't sue.

In Memoriam by Lys ap Adin

I finally realized the other day that it's true.

He's finally leaving me.

I feel lost. Helpless.

He's always been here to support me and protect me, to pick me up when I fall, to love me and cherish me...

I don't know what I'll do without him.

It's funny how I always thought I was the strong one, the one who could face anything and stand up to anyone. I never realized that it was because I knew he was always at my side to back me up.

I'm going to miss him so much.

My heart is aching already, and he's still here.

There's nothing I can do to stop this slow leave-taking, nothing I can say that will make him stay. Nothing can stop this.

For the longest time, I clung to my hopes and dreams, imagining that somehow, through some miracle, I'd be allowed to keep him by my side. I know now that they were all false. There's nothing now that will keep him with me...

Not even the strength of his own will.

I'm the caregiver now, the one who protects and nurtures. It's given me a new outlook, a new appreciation for the treasure that I've had at my side for so many years. I just wish that the lesson weren't so painful.

I look into his eyes, and I can see that it won't be much longer. There's so many things between us that still haven't been said, still haven't been done, even now. I guess I thought we'd both last forever. I was wrong.

As I hold his frail, wasted hand, listening to erratic, rasping breaths, I can only be thankful that we had as many years together as we did.

His eyes flicker to where I'm sitting, a gentle smile and sorrow mingling in their depths. He doesn't want to leave me as much as I don't want him to go.

But neither of us can stop this enemy.

He whispers my name. Tells me that he loves me.

I love you too.

He smiles, faintly. "I'll be waiting..."

And then, just like that, he's gone.

I don't think he'll have to wait very long.




For my grandmother.