And, in interest of stirring up noise, another Mission: Suburbia fic (arigatou Top Ace!).

AU, OOC, yaoi, weirdness, nosy neighbors.

Duo and the Scanner by Lys ap Adin

Duo discussed the matter quietly over a coffee break with Quatre. "You know, I *really* hate to keep imposing on you like this, Quatre, but you know how Heero is about making this life together perfect."

Quatre nodded wisely. "Yes, I know. He tries very hard, doesn't he?"

Duo smiled fondly. "Like you wouldn't believe. Anyway, can I count on you for this?"

Quatre pondered it. "Well, it's very untraditional, and really not something *I* know about firsthand, but... I'll talk to my sisters, and get their help."

Duo looked relieved. "Thanks, Quatre, you know I appreciate it... I'm still trying to figure out why he's got his heart set on a bridal shower, though."

Quatre shrugged. "Well, Trowa said that Heero mentioned that he'd been researching wedding customs..."




The salesclerk carefully explained to the two young men the method of operating the small electronic scanners, and then turned them loose in the department store. If she thought it odd that the two handsome men were registering for a wedding together, she gave no sign of it.

Heero immediately headed for the kitchen and bath department, a slightly more reluctant Duo following him. The braided man patiently watched his lover and soon-to-be husband examining china patterns and silver for a whole ten minutes before giving up. "Oi, Heero?"


"While you check this stuff out and figure out what you like, I'm going to go look for other stuff we might need," Duo announced, deciding that if he had to look at another variation of a place setting, he might scream.

"...fine. I'll find you when I'm through here."

Duo sighed in relief, gave Heero a quick kiss on the cheek, and bounded off to more interesting departments. He regarded the scanner in his hands. *Let's see... just point at the barcode... pull the button... and it's registered.* Duo grinned. It was time to register for the stuff *he* wanted.



The "bridal" shower went smoothly, as the odd assortment of guests awkwardly played party games and won door prizes. Wufei, having been dragged out by Sally, sulked in a corner, refusing to believe that he'd been hoodwinked into attending such an unmanly event. Zechs looked every bit as uncomfortable as he skulked around the edges of the gathering. Quatre, with Trowa at his side, attended to his duties as host, making sure that everyone was comfortable and that Duo didn't spike the punch with anything *too* strong.

The all-important moment arrived--the opening of the gifts. One by one, Heero and Duo opened them, oohing and ahhing over sets of towels, cookware, and the china for which Heero had registered.

The fact that Duo *had* managed to spike the punch made the entire affair seem less ridiculous.

Then they got to Trowa's gift, a long, flat box. Duo rattled it gently, but heard nothing within. "Oi, Trowa, what did you get us?"

"Nothing that wasn't on the register under Maxwell-Yuy."

Heero lifted an eyebrow as Duo tore into the wrapping paper, pulling the box open and lifting out--

Wufei suddenly cursed, clutching at his nose as Duo crowed triumphantly, waving the red-and-black silk lingerie like a battle flag.

"I didn't register for *that*," Heero said, looking a bit stunned.

Duo smirked. "I know."

Relena coughed. "So *that's* why most of the stuff on the list I got was junk food or... adult-oriented."

Heero's face twitched as he removed Trowa's gift from Duo's hands and neatly folded the garments. "This will come in handy later... thank you, Trowa."

And Wufei's nose erupted in a fresh flow of blood.




<snickers> Actually, my cousin's fiance *did* go through the store, zapping Cheese Nips, Reese's peanut butter cups, and Cheese Whiz.

I just figured Duo would do the same thing.