Okays, a random and somewhat off the cuff ficlet.

This is the beginning of what is eventually going to be a massive arc. It fits into the same universe as Memorial Day, Oblique, and Indestructible, which can be found under Lys ap Adin at http://www.geocities.com/fenris_wolf0

Er... yaoi, AU, Duo pov, not mine, yaddah yaddah yaddah...

Carpe Diem

For a guy as full as expertise about some things as Heero Yuy was when I first met him, he sure didn't know a whole hell of a lot about the art of person-to-person interaction.

Maybe some of what happened later was my fault - my fault that I never brought myself to tell him in those first frantic days we knew each other, before we went off on that horrible mission that nearly cost him his life. But the fault isn't entirely mine, either. We were all just scared kids fighting a war that no one really understood, for all our professionalism. Sure, we were killers, hard as nails and more dangerous than Cathrine when she's in full-blown overprotective nee-chan mode. That really doesn't mean that any of us had a clue, no matter how experienced some of us were.

It's never been in my nature to remain celibate for long, for various reasons. Sometimes it's been a matter of survival - spread 'em or starve - and sometimes it's been a matter of choice. In any case, when Heero and I landed in the same boarding school for a mission, I'd been on my own more or less consistently since the launching of Operation M (revised) and I was really starting to notice the side effects. The hormones of a teenaged boy are something pretty damn scary, let me tell you.

I know he noticed me fairly quickly. We had something of a professional regard for each other, and I know shooting him left an impression... Heero was funny in the sense that it left a good impression. But he wouldn't have acted on the attraction - I found out later that J had more or less trained that out of him too.

Needless to say, I tuned G out when we got to that part of the "How to be a Gundam Pilot in Six Easy Lessons" lecture. I function better when I'm not horny, anyway.

There was something about Heero that drew people to him, and it was more than that sexy little smirk and the brooding eyes or the way his perky little ass looked in tight jeans. Relena picked up on it, I definitely picked up on it... and it had Trowa following him around like one of Relena's fangirls. It was hard to define: an aura of strength and frailty blended with purity and guilt. But he was damn sexy, too, and once I had more or less confirmed that he wasn't lacking in the hormones department, that was what made me pounce him the first time.

I remember the look of shock on his face quite clearly, the surprise that widened those dark eyes when I quite deliberately leaned over the table at which we were sitting, reviewing mission results, and kissed him. His lips were soft and firm and tasted a little of salt and the teriyaki stir fry he'd had for dinner.

"What did you do that for?!"

I smiled at him. "Because I wanted to." I kissed him again, more coaxingly, and he responded slowly.

Later he took more initiative in bed, but the first time I slept with him, I took the lead, and the surprised statement on his face when he came with me inside him told me he'd been a virgin. Not that I hadn't expected as much, mind you.

We screwed each other like rabbits for the rest of our time at that school, either sleeping in his room or mine, depending on where we were whenever the hormones struck and we grabbed each other, all groping hands and greedy mouths and sweat-slicked bodies wrapped around each other.

Somewhere in there I fell in love. I don't know how. One night we were going at it just because, the next I couldn't enough of him because I wanted to spend the rest of my indeterminate lifespan with him.

Maybe it would have made a difference if I had told him then that I loved him... maybe things wouldn't have spiraled as crazily out of control as they did, and we would have called Une's bluff about the colonies... and he wouldn't have spent the time convalescing with Trowa. I'm not jealous, not anymore... after all, it worked out in the end. Though maybe I'd be alone right now instead of with Tro...

I think the one thing I learned from Heero that was most important was that it doesn't do any good to hold back when you have something that you need to say. You never know when the chance will be snatched away.


C&C please please please?