8-25-2000

Eh... not sure what to make of this. It just randomly popped into my head while I was trying to read The Brothers Karamazov, begging to be written. Gomen for the crossposties, minna!

Disclaimers: Not mine, no own, no money, please don't sue!

No warnings, not even yaoi... Maybe OOC, but who knows. No, I lied, there's a little hinting at shounen ai... I just can't help myself... ^___^

 

 

Boredom.......Lys ap Adin

 

Duo was bored. The other four guys were all busy... too busy to pay attention to him. Heero was on his laptop, Trowa was working on Heavyarms, Quatre was practicing his violin, and Wufei was curled up with a book. And Duo... had nothing to do. He'd puttered around with Deathscythe, actually done his homework, seen to his laundry (a good idea, since he had been borrowing Heero's socks for the past three days), and even rummaged around through the kitchen concocting his favorite food in the universe--triple fudge dark chocolate brownies with mocha frosting. Now there was nothing else to do... hence his boredom.

What was more, he was hyper (a consequence of ingesting the aforementioned brownies).

In all the multiverse, there are certain things with the power to make even strong men turn pale and shudder. A bored and hyper Duo Maxwell ranked right up there with bored kender [1].

Licking the last traces of frosting from his fingers, Duo sighed heavily. *What to do... what to do... there's nothing on TV... I've worked on Shinigami... even buffed the fuzzy dice [2]... Now what?* He paused and considered the question. *Ne... wonder what Heero's doing...*

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The door to the bedroom he shared with Duo swung open. Without even looking away from the screen of his computer or breaking the rhythm of his typing, Heero growled, "Go away, Duo, I'm busy."

"But--"

"No. Go away."

A muffled sigh followed and the door slammed shut.

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*Okay... so the psychotic spandex soldier doesn't want to come out and play today,* Duo thought grumpily. *Geez, wonder what's got his spandex in a knot today. Oh well... maybe Trowa needs some help with Heavyarms...*

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Duo sweatdropped and very very quietly snuck back out of the hangar. As he noiselessly shut the door behind him, the gentle strains of a violin serenade broke off as a box of tools was shoved aside to make room for other activities.

*Ano... guess that scratches Quatre off my list of people to bother, too,* Duo thought gloomily, unconsciously fidgeting as the sugar pumped through his system. *Well, guess just leaves Wufei...*

Duo beamed and scampered down the hall.

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"Kisama!" Wufei yelled, glaring up at the unrepentant violet eyes hovering above his face. "What the hell did you do that for?"

Duo grinned and picked himself up from the floor, where he had been sprawled across Wufei after tackling the Chinese pilot. "Ne, Wu-chan, whatcha reading?" he asked, completely ignoring the other boy's sputtering invective.

Wufei sat up, glaring at Duo balefully. "Maxwell, why don't you go bother somebody else?"

Duo grinned. "Can't, they're all busy."

Wufei sighed. "I'm busy."

Duo pouted at him. "But I'm bored."

"Go talk to Quatre... he likes to listen to you," Wufei suggested.

"Nope. He's busy, trust me."

"Then... Trowa... maybe he could--"

"He's busy... with Quatre." Duo winked at Wufei, who blushed faintly as the implications of that statement sank in.

"Heero?"

"If I bother him again, he might make good on his 'omae o korosu' line... Nope, Wu, you're all I've got," Duo said cheerfully. He pounced on the book lying on the floor next to Wufei. "So... what were you reading?"

Wufei resigned himself to his fate. "A book of fables."

"Really? What about, tell me one, tell me tell me tell me?" Duo enthused, plopping himself back down on the floor and looking at Wufei pleadingly.

"Why don't you read them yourself?" Wufei asked.

Duo wrinkled his nose. "Me? Read a book? Naw... if it's any good, they'll end up making a movie out of it and I'll watch that."

"You're such a troglodyte." Wufei carefully hid his smirk.

"I am?" Duo considered the comment, then shrugged. "Thanks, Wu, didn't know you cared!"

Wufei sweatdropped, and decided that he'd purchase Duo a dictionary at the earliest possible opportunity. Not that the braided one would ever use it... "Okay, fine... I'll tell you the one I was reading when you interrupted. Listen and you might actually learn something."

Duo clapped his hands. "Story time, story time!" Leaning forward, he stared at Wufei earnestly. "Do tell, do tell."

"If you would shut up for a minute, I will." Wufei stared back at Duo until he was certain that the other pilot was going to remain silent... for at least a few moments. "Okay. Once upon a time--"

"Is this a fairy tale, Wufei?"

"Shut up, Maxwell, and just listen to the story, please?" Wufei grimaced.

"All right, if you insist." Duo grinned at him, urging him to continue.

"Once upon a time, there were two neighboring kingdoms--"

"This is a fairy tale, isn't it?"

"Maxwell!"

Duo meeped and shrank back a little. "Okay, this is me shutting up."

"Once upon a time, there were two neighboring kingdoms by the sea."

"I think we need to go to the beach someday."

"Maxwell, if you interrupt me one more time, I will force you to eat your braid. Understand?"

"Yes sir!" Duo clutched at his braid protectively.

"Once upon a time, there were two neighboring kingdoms by the sea, ruled by two men of proud lineages." Wufei paused, expecting another comment from Duo. When none was forthcoming, he noted that threatening the braid was an effective way of shutting Duo up. "The two kings were very good friends, and would be found in each other's company as often as possible."

"They were lovers, weren't they?" Duo piped up, grinning. "Ack! No, not the hair, not the hair!" He tried to scramble away, but Wufei lunged and caught him. After a brief tussle, Duo stared at Wufei indignantly, mumbling incoherently through an impromptu gag... of chestnut hair.

Satisfied, Wufei leaned back and continued his story. "One day the two kings--who were only friends, you hentai--were out riding when they saw a little old lady being harassed by two bandits. Being good men, the two immediately rushed to her aid, killing the ruffians swiftly and then asking the woman if she was hurt.

"The old woman was not truly an old woman, but a powerful member of the spirit folk. Impressed by their generosity and upright natures, and grateful for their aid, she revealed her true nature, and offered them a reward. To each king she gave a magical pendant inscribed identically with charms and runes that they could use to better the lives of their people. 'Use my gift wisely,' she told them, before flitting back to her own realm.

"Rejoicing in their good fortune, the two kings rushed back to their kingdoms and began to learn about the attributes of the gifts. The first king, who was learned in the ways of men, discovered that he could see into their hearts and know their motivations with his pendant. Thus a new era of justice dawned in his kingdom by the sea. The second king his friend cared not for the hearts of men and preferred to improve the lots of his people. He used his pendant to cure illness and lighten the spirits of his subjects.

"For a time, the two kingdoms prospered, the first known for its enlightened citizens, the second for its carefree manners of living. One day the two kings met to discuss how each other used the gift of the kindly spirit. Over glasses of fine wine, they extolled the virtues of the new way of life, debating whose use of the gift was more fitting. As the hour grew later and they grew more drunken, each man became more insistent that his interpretation of the fey gift was wiser. The debate became a quarrel, which in turn became a bitter argument, and the two stormed away from each other, convinced that the other was a fool and undeserving of the gift of the spirit.

"Both men were proud... Haughty as only kingly men can be haughty. Both decided that the other must be convinced of the proper way to use the magical gifts. Heated exchanges flew back and forth, but only fueled the growing anger, until one day, one told the other that he was undeserving of such a priceless gift.

"Arguments between kings can lead only to one end. The two small kingdoms beside the sea began massing their peaceful citizens into armies, and met in a terrific battle in a broad valley. Great was the slaughter, and the two armies fought and died for three days' time, until the former friends met each other on the field. Howling for each other's blood, they rushed together with a mighty clash of arms.

"They fought and fought, neither refusing to back away and admit defeat, as their armies swirled around them. As the sun set on the third day of the battle, both kings struck each other the same fatal blow. Together they fell into the bloody mud... and they realized that they alone still lived. Two armies, the populations of two formerly happy kingdoms by the sea, lay dead around them.

"Dying, the two kings looked at each other and realized the wickedness of their argument. The second king fumbled for his magical pendant, but it withered into dust between his fingers. The first king, only now remembering that his gift had been identical to his friends, moved to do the same. His fingers met with the same dust. Weeping for their own stupidity and the destruction of their kingdoms, the two foolish men perished as the sun set."

Duo blinked and spit his braid out. "Wufei, I hate to tell you this, but that was really morbid."

Wufei sighed. "Don't you ever take anything seriously?"

"Of course I do... if I feel like it. That was just..." Duo shrugged. "Makes you wonder if what we're fighting for is really worth it, doesn't it?"

Wufei blinked. "Maybe you were listening after all," he admitted grudgingly.

"Oi, Wu-chan, give me some credit here," Duo protested, laughing. "Ne, you want a brownie?" he asked, moving to his feet.

Wufei paused, and realized that he had been drooling at the rich smell of chocolate all afternoon. "Why not?" he replied, setting the book aside and getting off the floor.

Duo grinned. "I'll go see if the spandex soldier wants any, too." He bounced away, and Wufei could hear him calling for Heero. He laughed silently to himself and headed into the kitchen.

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~~Owari~~

[1] Don't get the reference? Email me privately and I'll attempt an explanation.

[2] Okay, okay, so they don't exist... but wouldn't it be funny if Duo had fuzzy dice hanging in Deathscythe's cockpit?

NEway, that just totally popped out at random. <shrugs> Guess that's what I get for staying up too late and then doing my homework... C&C always welcome!