<grins> Random Mission: Suburbia (thanks Top Ace) fic here...

Yaoi. AU. OOC. <cough> Het.

Not mine, jest havin' a lil' fun...

Beef Jerky

It all started innocently enough. Duo, having decided that his munchies were too persistent to ignore, even though he was at work, carefully dodged Une's ever-vigilant surveillance of her team of Preventers in order to step down the hall for a quick snack. Pondering the array of junk food offered by the vending machines, he dug around in his pockets for sufficient change and procured a bag of beef jerky in order to most efficiently appease his mid-morning appetite. Then he raced back to his desk, smiling innocently at Une as her suspicious gaze crossed his. From the next desk over, Heero, who had missed nothing of his husband's antics, snorted.

Duo stuck his tongue out at Heero and tore into the package of beef jerky, contentedly gnawing at the leathery strips while examining tables of suspicious data from a mining company suspected of refining gundamium. For a time, all was peaceful.

Then Duo realized the drawbacks of beef jerky. Pieces of the stuff were getting stuck in his teeth, rather painfully... He squirmed, trying discreetly to work the stuck pieces free.

As his eyes began to water, a message popped up on his computer screen. #Nani?# Duo glanced over at Heero, who shot him a faintly curious glance.

Duo swiftly typed the reply. #I've got beef jerky stuck between my teeth and it hurts like a bitch.#

There was no typed answer to this statement, although Heero did snort again, softly. Duo glared at him as best as he could in between subtle attempts to work the beef loose. He was about to make a quick trip to the bathroom when Heero suddenly pushed away from his desk, approaching Duo's with a purposeful stride. As the rest of the office looked on curiously, Heero seized Duo's face and applied his mouth to his husband's firmly.

Wufei sputtered. "For heaven's sakes, Heero, take one of your damn sick days if that's what you're going to do!"

Heero calmly ignored Wufei's comment, fully devoting his attention to Duo's mouth for several long and very interesting moments. When he finally broke away, Une coughed. "That was very fascinating, Heero. If you're quite finished now...?"

Heero looked at her, then back at Duo. "No, we're taking a sick day." He grabbed Duo with one hand, absently swiping the half-empty bag of beef jerky with the other, and headed out of the office.

Une sighed heavily, rubbing her forehead. "Those two, I swear... Quatre, Trowa, where do you think you're going?"

Quatre smiled at her sunnily. "I think what Duo and Heero have is catching... Gomen!" With that, he was through the door, practically dragging Trowa behind him.

"Of all the-Noin!"

Noin glanced back at Une guiltily, all the while pushing Zechs out the door. "Sorry, Une, but I'm feeling a touch ill myself..." To Zechs, she hissed, "Make a break for it!" They ran.

"Well, at least I can count on..." Une turned to where Wufei and Sally's desks stood next to each other and choked. "Wufei?! Et tu, Brute?" When neither he nor Sally responded, being more interested in each other, Une surrendered. "Oh, for God's sake, get a room." Muttering dourly to herself, she stomped into her office, slamming the door behind her.

The next day, all the beef jerky had been removed from the vending machines.


<giggles and munches on her beef jerky contentedly>