<delurks, dragging herself by the scruff of the neck>

Hi guys. ^_^; This trippy little fic is dedicated to Pixy Misa, the 100,000th visitor to my page at GWAddiction... she requested, and I tried to fulfill. I think I may have failed...

Title: Always Found Wanting
Author: Lys ap Adin (lys_ap_adin@yahoo.com)
Category: Drama...?
Warnings/Labels: Trippy. Angsty. Weird. Not my usual voice(s)

Please, please, please, send me feedback offlist--I barely have time to sleep these days, let alone check the archives...

Always Found Wanting

I am rarely proud of the things I did during the wars. They were things that needed to be done in order that Operation Meteor--both versions of it--might be accomplished, but they were things I did because they were needful, not because I wanted to do them.

--that's not true--

My service to Mariemeia...

--was a mistake--

...was a miscalculation.

--you were shortsighted--

I thought that hers was the only way for a warrior to survive.

--you were blind--

I was...


...disoriented during the days that followed the destruction of the Libra. I was young, and turned to what I thought was a new mission to busy myself.

--you were stupid--

Maybe it was a mistake. But it was a mistake I corrected.

--nearly at the cost of someone's life--

Yuy was the strongest of us all. I had confidence in him.

--you were faithless. in everything. to everyone--

I would not have challenged him if some part of me hadn't known he would stop me.

--you were arrogant--

He understood. He stopped me. He saved the world. He always does.

--you were jealous--

No! I have no need of jealousy. I am stronger than that.

--you're weak--

I was trying to do the best I could.

--you failed--



never was what you wanted me to be, Meiran.




Um... please? Send me feedback? Please?