Ok, here's another brainchild of my extreme weirdness. I hope it's funny. ^^ It might just be weird. ^^ hehehe...but I thought I'd give fluff a shot, since I owe it to everyone for putting out "In Sickness and In Health" ne? I also wanna especially dedicate to Q-T's Hubby (to quote Ad ;) as well as everyone else that's having to deal with stupdi flamers. You guys need a laugh. ;) Laugh with me or at me, whichever you prefer, so long's you feel better.

Just to let you know, this is the second vidfic in a series of three, which are collectively known as "The Full Gundam." No, it doesn't have to do with stripping (though some day, I'm going to do a movie parody with Duo as the guy that gets everyone to strip ;D) I just call it that because I'm using music from the Full Money soundtrack. I know it's kind of strange that I'm sending part two before part one, but part one is still having some bugs worked out of it, and I wanted to send in some kind of fluffy thing today. ^^ Part one is the occassionally mentioned "Heero as a Bondage Queen" (Actual title: The Seduction of Duo or You Can Leave Your Hat On) which will be the next thing I finish, provided that no one kills me for this one.

Anyways...very tired...must sleep now. Enjoy my weirdness!

--
Katsu no Miko
A Wufei no Seishi
Duo's Grand Inquisitor and Head Torturer
Keeper of Duo's Stake and Mallet?? Duo's Browning .40 Hi-Power III???
(Or maybe) Keeper of Duo's angst???? (future generations will decide)
AND: Keeper of Ad's Sanity! (*snicker* What sanity?)

"Erst wenn die Wolken schlafen gehen/kann man uns am Himmel sehen/
wir haben Angst und sind allein.../Gott weiss ich wil kein Engel sein..."
(~Ramms+ein~)

 

Disclaimers: Yaoi. Weird. Extreme OOC-ness. And WEIRD.

 

The Seduction of Trowa *or* The Full Gundam: Part 1
(Silly vidfic using "You Sexy Thing" by Hot Chocolate)

Extreme OOC-ness, featuring:

Quatre AS a sex-starved quasi-nympho who will stop at nothing to get to home base with Trowa

Trowa AS a blushing, virginal, shy guy that has no clue what is going on.

Duo AS a willing participant, aider, and abettor of Quatre's heinous schemes to get into Trowa's pants.

Heero AS a possessive, psychotic spandex boy. So actually, he's in character.

[*intro music*]

A lime green roadster pulls up in front of an ordinary house in the suburbs. Trowa climbs out of the car, still half dressed in his clown costume. His hair is standing on end; he had a tough day at work. Center in on his feet as he walks up the driveway to the door. Snip to him fumbling the keys into the lock. After a brief struggle, he opens the door and goes inside, toeing his shoes off.

Now the camera is riding on Trowa's head, it appears. He looks around. The lights are off, and there are candles burning all over the living room. There are also rose petals strewn all over the carpet. Trowa is too tired to devote any thought to it. He shrugs and walks toward his room. Suspiciously, the rose petals lead right up to his room. He opens the door, and there is a loud clank as he drops his keys.

[I believe in miracles]

Quatre is lying on Trowa's bed, a rose clenched between his teeth. His naughty bits are, as always, covered by a conveniently hovering smiley face™.

[Where you from]

He wiggles his eyebrows at Trowa in a passable Groucho Marx imitation.

[You sexy thing]

Switch picture to Trowa. His eyes roll up in his head and he faints. *thud*

[I believe in miracles]

Quatre stops wiggling his eyebrows and sits up, spitting the rose out. He pulls a book out from behind one of the pillows. The cover reads "Sex and Seduction for Dummies."

[Since you came along]

He flips to a page and reads over it, then glances at Trowa, who is still comatose on the floor, blood gently streaming from his nose.

[You sexy thing]

Quatre lets out a long suffering sigh and rips that page out of the book. He balls it up and throws it away.

[Where did you come from baby]

It's now day. Trowa, obviously recovered from his shock, is outside, weeding the flowerbed. He bends over, unconsciously wiggling his cute rear in those tight jeans in the air.

[How did you know I needed you]

Pan back to the house. There is a glint, and it's...a set of binoculars, poking out of a crack in the curtains. Quatre is holding them. There are stings of drool hanging from his mouth.

[How did you know I needed you so badly]

Trowa stands up and wipes sweat from his forehead. His shirt is clinging rather nicely to his muscular self. (*Author wipes a little drool from her OWN mouth...* Eh, I'm having WAY too much fun writing this... :D --KnM)

[How did you know I'd give my heart gladly]

The lenses fall out of the binoculars, and blood starts pattering gently from Quatre's nose. He's sweating profusely and drooling, and generally looking like some kind of screaming pervert.

[Yesterday I was one of the lonely people]

Trowa crawls into his bed after a hard day of looking utterly delicious and being unknowingly stalked by Quatre. There's a lump in his bed. Trowa opens his eyes after he's been in bed for a minute and finds him staring into Quatre's eyes.

[But now you're lying close to me, making love to me]

For a long moment, they stare at each other. Then Trowa clutches the sheets away from Quatre his visible eye widening in shock, and the author, who is not terribly brave, exits the room so she won't have to witness the coming carnage.

[I believe in miracles]

Close up on Quatre. He has a vivid red handprint on one cheek, and a black eye. He's glaring at the "Sex for Dummies" book, and he rips out another page.

[Where you from
You sexy thing]

Quatre turns his attention forward. There is a small altar in front of him. Trowa's picture hangs over it, wreathed in flowers and bits of naughty underclothing. Quatre lights a couple incense sticks, claps his hands together, and starts praying.

[I believe in miracles
Since you came along
You sexy thing]

The candles have burned down to stumps, and Quatre is still praying...but it's obviously another day, because now he has TWO black eyes, and "Sex for Dummies" is minus another page. He has a little bell on the altar now, and he rings it often.

[Where did you come from angel]

Quatre hands Trowa a box that's tied with a red ribbon.

[How did you know I needed you]

Trowa opens it, and his eyes widen. He looks up and asks what the hell it is.

[Did you know you're everything I pray for]

Quatre grins and tells him, in great detail, with hand motions.

[Did you know every night and day for]

Trowa passes out again.

[Every day, needing love and satisfaction
And now you're lying next to me
Giving it to me.]

Quatre scratches his head and pulls the book out. He sits on the unconscious Trowa's stomach and rips another page out, then starts flipping through the book again. Trowa's eyes are making cute, Kenshin-esque SD spirals.

[I believe in miracles]

Trowa opens his door, glances up and down the hallway, and ventures forth to the bathroom. He pulls off his clothes and steps into the shower.

[Where you from
You sexy thing]

Suddenly, he turns around and pulls the curtains open. Quatre is hanging upside down from a tree branch outside the bathroom window. He smiles innocently at a white-faced Trowa.

[I believe in miracles
Since you came along
You sexy thing]

There is now a red hand print on Quatre's other cheek, to compliment the fading one a couple days before. There's a piece of crumpled paper sitting beside him, presumably another page. He grabs a prayer wheel, spins it a couple times, then the little weight thing snaps off of it and hits him in the eye.

[Kiss me
You sexy thing]

Quatre calls Duo and has a tearful conversation with him where he explains that he has the hots for Trowa's bod, and nothing he's tried has worked. Duo says he'll take care of it, he has an idea.

[Touch me baby
You sexy thing]

Trowa walks in to find Duo and Quatre on the couch, making out like there's no tomorrow. His eyebrows go up for a moment, then he shrugs and walks past the two of them, to his room.

[I love the way you touch me darling
You sexy thing]

Duo immediately pushes Quatre off of him and scratches his head, amazed that his jealousy creation tactic failed so completely. Quatre looks like he's going to cry.

[It's ecstasy
You sexy thing]

There's a knock on the door, and Quatre goes to answer it.

[Yesterday I was one of the lonely people]

Heero is standing on the front step, a shotgun clutched in his hands and blood in his eye.

[But now you're lying close to me]

Quatre and Duo run like hell. They burst into Trowa's room and grab him, trying to use him as a shield...

[Giving it to me]

Heero, Duo, and Quatre are all sitting on the front step. The barrel of Heero's shotgun has been tied into a knot, and each of the boys has a black eye and a bloody nose.

[I believe in miracles
Where you from
You sexy thing]

Quatre rips one last page from the "Sex for Dummies" book and lets it flutter to the ground. There are no pages left, now. He glares at the empty cover, rips it in half, and throws it in the trash. He turns his attention back to his altar to Trowa...

[I believe in miracles
Since you came along
You sexy thing]

Quatre darts on camera, wearing red hakama and a white kimono. He starts waving one of those paper (?) thingies (if you've ever seen Kodomo no Omocha, think of the episode when Rei says that he's sick and Sana goes bonkers...) over the incense and candles rapidly. After a few minutes, he stops and bends over, breathing hard. He takes a deep breath, and suddenly, he's sitting on a rock in the middle of a pond with a waterfall pouring down on him. He has prayer beads wrapped around his hands, and he's chanting...

[Touch me
Kiss me darling
I love the way you hold me baby
It's ecstasy
It's ecstasy
Kiss me baby]

Quatre has called Duo on the phone again and has a long, tearful, and extremely smutty conversation with him including suggestive hand motions™, of course ignoring the fact that the suggesting hand motions™ can't be seen over the phone. Duo listens with a long suffering look on his face, and he finally says one sentence to Quatre. Quatre nods, and they hand up.

[I love the way you kiss me darling
(Sexy thing, Sexy thing)]

Quatre pushes his sleeves up, pulls his pants up, take a deep breath, and marches outside, where Trowa is once again weeding. He gets distracted by Trowa's yummy hiney for a minute before shaking his head. He taps Trowa on the shoulder and Trowa looks up, puzzled.

[Love the way you hold me
(Sexy thing, Sexy thing)]

Quatre takes a long, deep breath, says something that sounds suspiciously like "Ai shiteru," then grabs Trowa and sends them both tumbling into some convenient juniper bushes. The immediately come tumbling right back out, both of them covered with stickers.

[Keep on loving me darling
(Sexy thing, Sexy thing)]

Quatre takes more careful aim this time, and pulls Trowa into a nice big stand of ferns, which immediately start moving rhythmically...*ahem* Strains of "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" can be heard dimly in the background a la Ace Ventura.

[Keep on loving me baby...]

Quatre emerges from the ferns, disheveled and wearing only a conveniently hovering smiley face™. He's grinning. Suddenly, he jerks to a halt and looks back. One of his wrists has been manacled. His eyes widen in shock as one of Trowa's hands reaches out of the all-concealing, huge vegetation and jerks him back in...