Oh, holy god in heaven I am getting to bed SO late, but I just HAD to stay up and write this...because...WA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! I AM INSANE!!!!!!!!!!

*the nice young men in the clean white coats drag KnM away*

--
Katsu "O-ka-ne" no Miko
"Erst wenn die Wolken schlafen gehen
kann man uns am Himmel sehen
wir haben Angst und sind allein...
Gott weiss ich wil kein Engel sein..." (~Ramms+ein~)

 

If you actually try to C&C this, you have my pity.

 

Gundam Las Vegas!!!
(Alternately known as “It’s a Beautiful Life”)

Warnings and disclaimers:

This fic is just weird. And Yaoi. And well…weird.

“It’s a Beautiful Life” is one of my most favorite songs of all time. It belongs to Ace of Base. I have no right to abuse it like this. [Note, all the "Oooh"s in this are actually vocalizations from the song. ^^;;]

Blame my best friend! She got me started on this!

Extreme OOC-ness FEATURING:

Heero Yuy AS -- A violent, sex obsessed maniac

Duo Maxwell AS -- A violent, happy sex obsessed maniac

Quatre Raberba Winner AS -- An innocent looking violent, sex obsessed maniac

Trowa Barton AS -- A violent, sex obsessed maniac. But a quiet one. With funny hair.

Chang Wufei AS -- A violent, sex obsessed maniac who is currently in denial about being a violent, sex obsessed maniac

*Piano & synthesizer intro...*

(The scene begins as a wide angle shot of the planet earth, rotating peacefully in space. Suddenly, five streaks of light shoot in, headed right toward it...pan in, doing fades where necessary until you are eventually over Las Vegas, right above the Luxor, to be more specific. Crowds are milling around the base of the giant black pyramid, as normal...suddenly all the cars in the streets screech to a halt as a giant shadow falls over the huge casino...the shadow separates into five...and the Gundams land!*

The tourists are pointing excitedly and taking pictures. They figure it's all part of one of the show. This is Las Vegas, after all. The hatches of the Gundams pop open, and out come the pilots! Duo bounds down to the ground first, followed by Quatre. Both have a huge amount of luggage. Wufei comes down next, eyeing everyone suspiciously, his hand by his sword. Then Trowa, then Heero, whose only piece of luggage consists of a Mickey Mouse back pack [take my advice and don't ask!!].)

*You can do what you want just seize the day*

(Duo waves his arms and points excitedly at the hotel. He then grabs Heero's wrist and sprints for the door, leaving a comical Warner Brothers-esque dust trail kicked up behind him. The other follow, a little more sedately...Cut to their room, which happens to be the honeymoon suite. [I will take this opportunity to say that to my knowledge, this room does not exist in the Luxor in reality. Ain't artistic *cough* license grand?] It is large, has a Jacuzzi...and only one bed, which is big, red, and heart shaped. Duo scatters his bags everywhere and runs around the room, checking everything out. Quatre joins him. Heero and Trowa stand at the door with Wufei between them.)

*What you're going tomorrow's gonna come your way*

(Wufei points at the bed, a blush creeping up on his cheeks, and asks where the heck everyone is going to sleep. Quatre suddenly stops in his tracks, leaving Duo racing around the room alone. Quatre and Heero shoot each other narrow-eyed Attention K-mart Shoppers Wet Cleanup On Isle Seven Death Glares™ from across the room.)

*Don't you ever consider giving up*

(Wufei is hiding in the bathroom. Trowa and Duo are sweatdropping as they watch Quatre and Heero facing off over the huge honeymoon bed, their hands hovering twitchily in the vicinity of their concealed weapons. [No, you ecchis!!!! That comes later ;)] Neither opponent moves. The wind whistles. A tumbleweed blows by, and still, they continue to stare at each other, each waiting for their opponent to make the first move...

*You Will Find*

Suddenly...

Quatre & Heero: Jan-ken-pon! Pon! Pon! Pon!

They sweatdrop as they both come up with scissors. They glare at each other. There is another lengthy pause.

Quatre & Heero: Pon! Pon! Pon!

Sweatdrop.

Quatre & Heero: Pon! Pon! *glare*

They hit each other square in the face at the same time, and both go down like a ton of bricks. Trowa and Duo sweatdrop and glance sheepishly at each other.

Duo & Trowa: *Oooh...*

*It's a beautiful life*

Duo drags a pissed-off looking Heero [what else is new?] down into the casino area.

Wufei & Trowa: (pop out from behind statue of half-naked egyptian lady) *Oooh!*

*It's a beautiful life*

Heero stares meditatively at a one armed bandit.

Duo & Quatre: (appearing out of nowhere) *Oooh!*

*It's a beautiful life*

He pulls out his trusty laptop and hooks it into the slot machine. Suddenly, thousands of dollars worth of coins come cascading out of the machine. Duo is ecstatic.

Quatre & Trowa: (pop out of the coin slot in chibi form) *Oooh!*

*I just wanna be here beside you*

Duo looks up and sees some men in dark suits approaching. He slowly backs away from Heero. And then runs.

*And stay until the break of dawn*

Heero gets escorted out by a casino security guard. The other four G boys are waiting outside, nonchalantly leaning against a wall and whistling tunelessly. Heero's laptop comes flying out of the casino doors. It lands on the sidewalk and shatters into a thousand little bits of plastic. Heero suddenly looks up and GRINS. He whips out a detonator...

The other pilots jump on top of him, grabbing for the detonator. There is a huge brawl, and eventually Duo emerges, his hair completely pulled out of the braid and with blood running from his nose, but in possession of the detonator.

*Take a walk in the park when you feel down*

Duo and Heero are standing on top of the Belagio at night [don't ask how they got there!], watching the fountains. Or, more accurately, Duo is watching the fountains. Heero has out an extremely high powered sniper rifle, and has his sights set on the Luxor, waiting for someone to dare approach the Gundams...

*There're so many things there that's gonna lift you up*

The G boys minus Heero, who is still on the roof of the Belagio, are all at another casino. They are all seated in front of a stage at one of the teeny tiny little cocktail tables. Duo somehow conned someone into thinking he's 21, and has acquired a bottle of tequila. They're taking turns slamming it down. Well, except for Wufei.

*See the nature in bloom a laughing child*

The curtains whip aside, and...it's...TOPLESS DANCERS!!!!

Wufei goes down like a ton of bricks, blood fountaining from his nose in an unending stream. Trowa is staring at the stage, his visible eye wide with shock. Duo starts hooting and waving dollar bills. Quatre seems to be stuck in SD, and there is a nervous tic starting in his cheek. Twitch, twitch, twitch...

*Such a dream*

Suddenly, Trowa leaps from his chair, does one of his flip thingies, and lands on the stage. He starts dancing with the dancers.

Duo & Qautre: (sweatdropping and shrugging, hands spread wide in gestures of complete bafflement) *Oooh...*

*It's a beautiful life*

The G boys are on the New York New York roller coaster. Quatre and Duo are in front. They have their hands up and are screaming their heads off.

Quatre & Duo: *Oooh!*

*It's a beautiful life*

Move back a couple seats to see Heero and Wufei. As the coaster whizzes through a loop, neither change expression. The only movement is from Heero's hair being blown in different directions.

Heero & Wufei: (totally deadpan and unimpressed) *Oooh*

*It's a beautiful life*

Go back to Trowa. He's seated next to a little girl that is yelling loudly. He has his hands raised like Duo and Qautre, but has about as much of an expression as Heero. His unibang has blown back and is now pointed straight up [so he looks like he has a funky crown!] and you can see both of his eyes!

Trowa & little girl: *Oooh!*

*I just wanna be here beside you*

The G-boys get off the roller coaster. Duo grabs Quatre and Heero, and sprints to the end of the line. He produces another bottle of tequila while they are waiting, and everyone slams shots down this time, even Wufei.

All: *Oh yeah, alright!*

*I just wanna be here beside you*

The G-boys get off the coaster again. This is time number 134 they have gone over it. They are all weaving drunkenly. Quatre and Wufei are looking green around the gills. Heero is looking ok if you discount the fact that he is standing at a 60 degree angle. Duo is grinning maniacally. Trowa's hair is completely fried, and he has a total fro that stands out directly from his head.

*And stay until the break of dawn*

Duo points at the end of the line again. Quatre burps, then pitches forward and hits the unloading platform face first, an odd smile on his lips.

*You're looking for somewhere to belong*

The G boys stumble into the honeymoon suite. All arguments over the bed have been forgotten. Everyone, with the sole exception of Wufei, tumbles into the huge bed together. Wufei weaves his way to the bathroom. Someone behind him moans loudly, and I'm not talking about in pain here, and blood spurts out of poor Wu-chan's nose. He runs into the bathroom and locks the door behind him.

*You're standing all alone*

The bed is now a seething mass of red sheets, hair, and tangled limbs. It's impossible to tell what belongs to who, but it's pretty obvious that everyone's having fun.

Wufei is huddled in the bathtub, trying to plug his ears. His face is bright red.

Suddenly, Quatre pops free of the mass on the bed. He stalks toward the bathroom, his censored bits covered by a conveniently hovering yellow smiley face™.

*for someone to guide you on your way*

Quatre knocks on the bathroom door in, and Wufei yelps, covering his face with a towel as if he thinks that will help him hide.

*Now and forever*

With a superhuman snarl, Quatre raises one foot and kicks the door in a la Fujisawa sensei. Wufei screams a girly scream as Quatre stomps over to the bathtub, still covered by the conveniently hovering yellow smiley face™, which is now leering at Wufei.

*It's a beautiful life*

Quatre's hand reaches out and snatches Wufei's ponytail with the speed of a striking snake. Wufei screams as he is violently pulled from the tub.

Quatre: (smirking) *Oooh!*

*It's a beautiful life*

Quatre marches out into the room. The conveniently hovering yellow smiley face™ winks at the audience. Quatre's still got Wufei by the ponytail, and is dragging the screaming boy along.

Duo, Heero & Trowa: (pop out from underneath the covers, all of them in a state of disarray and looking happy) *Oooh!*

*It's a beautiful life*

Quatre uses his newfound superhuman strength to throw Wufei onto the bed. The other three boys leap on him, and Quatre dives in as well.

Wufei: (right before he disappears, eyes panicked) *Oooh!*

*I just wanna be anybody*

Slow pan around the room, looking everywhere but the bed. The windows are rattling. The pictures are shaking and sliding around to hand unevenly on the walls. Outside, fireworks go off. A glass of water vibrates along the top of the dresser and falls off the edge, landing on the floor.

*We're living in different ways*

All five G boys are now laying in various languid positions on the bed, smoking cigarettes. Wufei is scowling and rubbing his bottom, but when he thinks no one is looking, he smirks.

*It's a beautiful life*

Next night, the G boys are walking along the streets of Las Vegas. Everyone is looking happy, except for Wufei, who is conspicuously still rubbing his butt. However, he doesn't look too pissed, come to think of it.

*I'm gonna take you to a place I've never been before*

Heero spots the stratosphere. He sees the Big Shot [the big Tower catapult you up into the air kind of thingy] His eyes light up.

Heero: *Oh yeah*

HEERO grabs DUO and sprints for the entrance.

*It's a beautiful life*

Duo, Heero, and the rest of the pilots are strapped firmly into the big shot. Heero is smiling maniacally. The Big Shot shoots up...and Heero is free from his safety harness! He throws himself off of the very top of the stratosphere!

*I'm gonna take you in my arms and fly away with you tonight*

Duo panics, frees himself, and jumps after Heero. The other three pilots shrug, look at each other, and jump off as well.

*Oh yeah, alright*

The five boys are falling. All but Heero are screaming. Various objects go by them...an old lady on a bike, a polar bear in a canoe, Cloud Strife, a Tasuki UFO catcher doll, Treize and Zechs riding on a broom, dressed as members of the magic club from Mahou Tsukai Tai!...

*It's a beautiful life*

More things rush by, faster, and faster. Heero checks his watch.

*Yeah alright*

Heero checks his watch again, tapping his foot in thin air as they continue to fall. The other G boys pause and take a deep breath, then resume screaming in terror.

*It's a beautiful life*

They all hit the ground head first.

*It's a beautiful life*

When the dust settles, they all pick themselves up, with the exception of
Quatre, who is laying in a little moaning pile. Trowa picks him up and
slings him over his shoulder. Duo yells at Heero.

Quatre: (dazed) Oooh...

*It's a beautiful life*

Change scene. Heero runs out of the Luxor, waving his gun at a kid who is climbing on the foot of Wing Zero.

Duo: (following at a safe distance, claps hand to forehead) *Oooh!*

*It's a beautiful life*

Duo tackles Heero so that he can't kill the kid. The kid gets the hint and runs like hell.

Kid: *Oooh!*

*It's a beautiful life*

Heero grins, and whips out another detonator.

Wufei: (trying to grab it from him) *Oooh!*

*It's a beautiful life*

Heero dodges. Click click click...pause.

Heero: (peers at the detonator, a dumbfounded expression on his face) *Oooh!*

*It's a beautiful life*

All the other pilots breathe a sigh of relief.

All: *Oooh!*

*It's a beautiful life*

Suddenly, Las Vegas exploded in a giant fireball. Heero does a little victory dance and makes the "swoosh!" motion.

Heero: *Oooh!*

*It's a beautiful liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiife*

The dust clears...and...Las Vegas is still standing!!! [It is the theory of my best friend and I that Las Vegas will survive anything!]

Heero faints. Thud.

 

 

 

A HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!