6-3-2001

Author/Alias: Hana-chan (sparkledustquatre@hotmail.com)
Title/Part Number: I'm so thankful
Catagory/Warnings: shonen ai, sap, songfic
Pairings: 1+2
Feedback: Yes

I'm So Thankful


Genre: Shonen ai, sap, Songfic
Pairings:1+2
Rating: PG
Warnings: Shonen ai, sap, Heero's P.O.V.
Summary: Heero is reflecting on how Duo has changed his life for the better


/'Duo Maxwell'/

The person who keeps me going every day, the reason I keep living. The only one I've ever loved, the only person who has ever loved me. The best thing that ever happened to my life.

He's so beautiful lying here, sleeping next to me. His gorgeous hair spread all around him. I twirl a lock of it around my fingers, and look down at this angel whom some how I fell in love with, I know I would do any thing for him.

"I would give up everything before I'd separate myself from you after so much suffering me finally found unvarnished truth" I sing softly, I would die if anyone else heard me, and saw me like this, my guard down, my masks shed, here at my most vulnerable, but I can be vulnerable for him. I 'm not sure what he sees in me I don't deserve someone as wonderful as he is, sure he annoys me some times, but even thought he can be an idiot, he's *MY* idiot.

"I was all by myself for the longest time so cold inside and the hurt from the heart it would not subside I felt like dying"

Duo stirs and snuggles in closer to my chest the warmth of him against me makes me feel so wanted, so cared for. Before I found him, I didn't have anything to live for, anyone to come back to, someone to be truly thankful for my return

"Until you saved my life"

Duo saved me from myself, I wish I could tell him everything he means to me. I wish I could tell him that I love him, it's not that I am afraid of him not returning the sentiment, he tells me he loves me at every free moment, but I can't seem to get the words out of my mouth. But I do love him, beyond life, beyond everything

"Thank God I found you I was lost without you my every wish and every dream somehow became reality when you brought the sunlight completed my whole life"

This little angel, at least that's what he looks like in his sleep. Curled up so innocently his long hair makes him look so, ethereal. It's one of the things I love most about him, on of the things, along with the way he persists at making friends with everyone, that initially attracted me to him and somehow, for some reason, he feels the same way about me, he shouldn't, but he does. He could be with anyone, anyone could love him, but he chose me the one person least worthy of his affections.

"I'm overwhelmed with gratitude my baby I'm so thankful I found you"

I run my fingers through the chestnut strands and he stirs again. I'm afraid I woke him up, but his just stretches his mouth in a cute little yawn and snuggles in even closer. He looks so content. I'm glad he's happy. His joy means everything to me, selfishly I have to admit because if he's happy his mood spreads over to me, and makes me feel.

"I would give you everything there's nothing in this world I wouldn't do to ensure your happiness I'll cherish every part of you"

If any of the other pilots saw how vulnerable he makes me I, well I would not be a happy person. But here, now, with him in my arms I feel safe being vulnerable and open. I feel like I have a right to feel emotions. Around him I can just let every one of my masks fall off and expose who I am, the real me whom I don't even truly know, but he knows that me some how and he keeps the real me alive.

"Because without you beside me I can't survive, don't wanna try"

I love the way he feels snuggled up next to mine, so soft and warm. Whenever I have to sleep without him by me, I feel empty and cold. He's so affectionate, at first I pushed all that affection away, but now he's opened me up and became my life force, my all, my everything.

"If you're keeping me warm each and every night I'll be all right 'cause I need you in my life"

How did all the world perfection and beauty get put into one person? The one person who loves me. I never believed in luck, until I met him then luck came crashing down on me. I don't know how I fell for him, love was just another emotion I wasn't supposed to feel and I knew enough about the world to know a boy wasn't supposed to fall for another boy. But I did somehow. It scared me at first so I blocked him out, like I do anything that scares me. But his persistence to return the feelings he somehow knew I possessed eventually broke me down, and I've never been happier.

"Thank God I found you I was lost without you my every wish and every dream somehow became reality"

I didn't know how much I needed love in my life. I'd never experienced it, but now that I've felt it, I've felt him, I'm alive.

"When you brought the sunlight completed my whole life I'm overwhelmed with gratitude my baby I'm so thankful I found you "

I almost didn't notice how alone I was before, how empty, before he cam in my life. I guess it's the way I was trained, but now I feel so, so well really the only way to say it is warm inside. So complete, so loved, so everything, it's so much it's almost confusing, and yet I somehow understand.

"See I was so desolate before you came to me, looking back, I guess it shows that we were destined to shine "

I hold every moment of our relationship close in my heart. I don't want to ever lose him, yet I live with the reality that every day might be one, or both or our last. I've had to live with the fact that each day might be my last for as long as I can remember, but now knowing that he might not be here tomorrow or that I might not be there for him frightens me. The thought of leaving him alone, or losing him, before I get the courage to tell him how I feel.

"After the rain to appreciate and care for what we have and I'd go through it all over again to be able to feel this way"

My mind isn't able to fathom everything he means to me, it just can't work everything out and give me a logical idea of everything. All I know is Duo makes me human. He makes me see the world through caring, loving eyes. There's nothing I wouldn't do for him.

"Thank God I found you I was lost without you my every wish and every dream somehow became reality when you brought the sunlight"

A thin ray of light breaks through the window, just a hint of morning shining through illuminating his beauty. He senses it and rolls in closer, shielding his eyes, snuggling in so there's not room for a molecule between us. I sigh, it feels so good to have him here by my side I feel so complete, so whole, so perfect.

"Completed my whole life I'm overwhelmed with gratitude sweet baby I'm so thankful I found you"

Every little thing every kiss, every touch, every little show of affection, makes me feel so loved, so needed, so wanted, so cared for

"Thank God I found you I was lost without you I'm overwhelmed with gratitude my baby I'm so thankful I found you"

I look down to see sleepy violet eyes staring up at me

"I didn't know you could sing so well" he says giving me a soft sweet smile

"How long have you been awake?" I ask, a little embarrassed to have been caught

"Middle of the first chorus"

"Duo!"

"Finish it, please, you have a nice voice"

I take a breath and slowly sing the last line

"I'm overwhelmed with gratitude my baby I'm so thankful I found you"


OWARI!!!!!!!!!!


On the sap-o-meter one being almost no sap 10 being cavity inducing, I'd say this is a 12 or 13 ne?