yes, another freaky part. I can't help it! it's compulsive! comments VERY appreciated, as usual! it's subject to revisions and other picky ficy stuff!


SPAM, Duo, and the Medicine Bears - Part 3


[Um.. Spam?]


[Why is it called the Medicine BEARS if Trowa and Quatre turned into TIGERS?]

{Hell if I know}

[That doesn't make sense, you know]

{It's F.I.C.T.I.O.N. Who cares?}

[Where are we, anyway?]

{Quatre and Trowa are about to kill Duo}

[What? Hunh? ::shifts through all of the crappy material they wrote:: I don't see that!]

{Freakin A, onna, look for yourself}

Wufei: ::cackling wildly, grabs his katana and stands in front of the door:: Stand back, Heero! I'll take care of them, baby!

Heero: ::sweatdrop::


Duo: ::sweatdrop:: Good grief.

Quatre: ::mews:: C'mon, let me in!


Quatre: ::pets door:: Please?

Duo and Heero: NO.

Quatre: ::pauses:: Erm.. pretty please?

Duo: ~_^ NO. WAY. You're acting weird.

Quatre: ::pouts:: Am not.

[He's NOT supposed to pout! What are you, an idiot?!]

{Is that supposed to be a question you're asking me or yourself?}

[You! You're destroying Quatre's image!]

Quatre: ^_^;;

[You're destroying MY image!]

{I can see Quatre's image... but I still can't see yours. If you just SHOW me what image you're talking about... just a 'little'.. ::pauses when he sees Gideon's face:: Uh oh. I see smoke.}

[::brain smoking:: GAAAAAAAHHH! HEERO, DESTROY HIM!]

Heero: ::sweatdrop:: I can't. He's an apparition.

{ ^_~ }

[::eye twitches::]

Trowa: ::pulls off ears for a minute:: Are these costumes supposed to be itchy?

Wufei: ::throws down sword and crosses his arms:: I will NOT continue! This is degrading!!

Duo: ::snickers:: Who's the baka now, hunh?

Heero: ::glares:: You are. You're the reason why we're in this mess anyway.

Duo: ::mad:: You guys TOLD me to make you medicine, and THAT'S WHAT I DID! I could have JUST AS EASILY made it to a store or SOMETHING and gotten SOMETHING for you but NO, WE don't want to risk being NOTICED when NOBODY around here freakin' KNOWS US ANYWAY!

Heero: Precautionary measures.

Duo: That resulted in Quatre and Trowa turning into mad-psyco vampire-tiger freaks and Wufei into Mr. Baby Kissums.

Wufei: ::calmly:: Call me that one more time and I'm going to dig this sword so far into your brain that you won't be able to tell the difference between Heero and Relena.

Duo: ::sweatdrop::

Relena: Did someone call me? ::pops into room window with climbing gear and a flame thrower which she used to melt through the metal blocking the window and spots Heero::

{You couldn't have made a more stupid entrance with a more stupid character}

[::defensive:: She's not really stupid, j-just a l-little u-unique, t-that's all ::keff keff::]

{Unique as in missing about four billion of her most important brain cells}

Relena: ::unhooks herself from the rope and walks up to him, giving him her most winning smile, said climbing gear moving side to side like a kitten's tail:: Why, hello, Heero. How are you? I haven't seen you since--

Heero: ::spots the window and says suddenly:: There's someone at the door for you.

Relena: ::puzzled:: Really? I wonder who it could be...

Heero: ::glares at Duo and Wufei and hisses quickly:: MOVE! ::all said boys backpedal from the unsuspecting

Peacecraft and begin to jump out of the window one at a time. Suprisingly, Wufei is the first one down::

Wufei: ::opens his arms and grins beatifically:: C'mon, I'll catch you.

Heero: ::stare::

Duo: ::yells:: DOWN BOY! GO HOME NOW, GO ON! SCAT! GO HOME TO YOUR MASTER! YEEEESS, that's a good, GOOD boy, go to your MAAASTER... ::snickers::

Wufei: ::sniffs and wipes away a tear:: B-But you are my m-master...

::bursts into tears::

{Ain't that freakin' sweet?}

[That's pathetic! ::wrings hands worredly:: Wufei's going to *kill* me after this is over!]

{::ominously:: IF...}

Heero: ::simply:: Duo's your master. ::starts as a chuckle, then escalates into semi-maniacal, not-at-all modestly hysterical laughter::

[::sighs:: Heero's going to kill me for that too, I can feel it...!]

Duo: ::glares:: Bad boy, BAD BOY!! Go to your room!

Wufei: ::sniffs:: Ok... ::drags himself dejectedly toward the front door. he tries to push it open, then realizes that it's bolted from the inside:: Hey, I can't. The door is still barred from the inside.

{Oh YEAH, how Gideonly of me! ::furious, uses super Spam powers to zip in, pick up Wufei, put him back up at the window Duo is about to hurl himself from, shove them inside, and takes ACME(tm) iron window to replace the first one, pushing and melting it into place:: You're not supposed to get out at all! ::grumbles angrily:: Where's that stupid little Peacecraft g-- ahh, there she is! ::rubs 'hands' together and giggles maniacally:: You shall... PAY... for almost allowing my pretty little torture subjects to escape from here! Oh yeessss.... ::melts into little puddle as his brain fizzes and pops in the deepest concentration::

::gigantic sweatdrop appears at the top of the ficcy world::


::anyway, the present position has Wufei staring dubiously at the window, thinking feverently that the end of the world must be near, Duo grinning at the iron window, thinking how awesome that was--::

{::momentarily materializes out of puddle:: Why, thank you! ::puddles::}

::...erm, Heero glaring at the window, succeding in leaving minor scorch marks but small nonetheless, Quatre and Trowa licking thier lips expectantly as the door begins to crack, and Relena, oblivious, opening the door::

Wufei, Duo, Heero: ::all charge for Relena:: NOOO!!! RELENA!!!!

Heero: ::whips out his gun and aims for Relena. he puts it right in her surprised little face. a slow smile cracks his lips:: Mission--

{MINE! MY REVENGE, MINE! ::plucks gun out of Heero's hands:: HA HA! ::again melts into think-Spam-puddle::}

Heero: failed... ::slumps to the ground and looks wide-eyed at his hands:: Mission... failed...?

[::panics:: You devasted him! Spam, that wasn't fair!]

{::gurgle gurgle::}

Duo: ::sighs heavily::

Wufei: Let's just hope that he doesn't do a repeat of that mood he was in after he killed Noventa... ::overcome by pre-Spam-induced emotion to glomp Heero:: POOR BABY!!! ::wails::

Trieze: ::pops into the center of the room with his aristocratic suit on with cape except with two black 'angel' wings on his back:: Greetings, oh unfortunate ones.

Zechs: ::pops into the center of the room in awesome set up that he had on the battleship Libra with the exception of two thin, pretty white angel wings on the back:: Heya dudes, how's it shakin'?

[I didn't do it... Spam didn't do it... ::furious:: so who made him say it?! ::leaves scene to scout of the brain of the author::]

Duo: ::the only *normal* person there:: What are you doing here?

Treize: ::shrugs elegantly:: We were sent here because somebody pities you uncomparably.

Duo: Who?

Treize: More than likely everyone in the whole ficcy world who ventures to read this pathetic workmanship..

Duo: ::winks at everyone:: Hey!

Relena: My brother.. Zechs, what are you doing here?!

Zechs: ::points to the door:: Check on your callers first...

Duo: No! Quatre and Trowa.

Relena: ::stares:: Are unconsious!

::Quatre and Trowa are, as said, lying on the hallway floor, arms and legs splayed everywhere, big, red wound marks on thier foreheads::

Quatre and Trowa: MOAN.... MOOOOOOAN....

[::pops up:: You guys are *supposed* to be FRICKIN TIGERS! ::looks closer:: And TROWA! Where are your EARS!]

Trowa: ::pops awake and quickly puts ears back into place a top his head. shrugs:: Sorry.

[::slumps to the ground:: Ohhhh, my heeeeead.... ::moans::]



Wufei: ::rolls his eyes:: This is ridiculous...

Relena: ::bends to examine thier heads:: Why.. they've been knocked in the head! ::she looks closer, particularly on the tiny imprint in the middle of the red spot on Quatre's head:: It says... 'Most... Psycotic... Japanese C..Character 2000...'

Duo: ::chokes:: Heero's gun. It must have hit them in the head when Spam knocked the gun away from Heero's hands..

Heero: ::static::

Duo: ::grabs Heero and shakes him desperately:: Heero. Heero! HEERO!

Relena: HEE--

Everyone: DON'T EVEN TRY IT!

Heero: ::instantaneously better:: You heard them.

Relena: Eeeep...

Zechs: ::impatiently:: Are any of you ready?

Wufei: ::eyes Treize wearily, who eyes him back:: For what? Why are you here?

Treize: The powers that be wish to give you all an alternate proposition. o-or situation, as you see fit...

::puddle reforms into Spam::

{Proposition?! Will Relena be killed? Will Heero do it? Will DUO do it? Will SPAM do it?! How many freakin parts does it take to come to a frickin conclusion?! Why the bloody freak is everybody getting killed in 'Elizabeth I'?! Will Tom, Mike, or Crow EVER show up to shut us down?! Will Trieze MARRY Wufei?! Or DUO?! Or all of them?! Will Duo rise from the dead?! He's frickin alive, he's frickin aliiiiiii--}

[Hey, I was going to ask you about that!!! Duo didn't die in here! You TOLD me in the beginning that they weregetting ready to kill Duo! Don't you DARE kill my baby!]

Duo: ::face vaults, then manages to say:: Don't *give him any ideas*!

{::slow, creepy silence:: Tune in next time, to "Days of Our Pathetic Gundam Boys Lives"!}
::sigh:: I finished this part. How horrible.. they're all giving me a headache! Anyway.. any suggestions as to what alternate proposition o-or situation Trieze and Zechs will offer them, hmmmmmmmmm?! HELP!


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