Author/Alias: Eice Bleu (
Title/Part Number: The Downward Spiral-- Part 4
Category/Warnings: Serious & Angsty, Drugs & Alcohol, Depression, Shounen Ai, some OOC (last one may be a matter of opinion)
Pairings: None so far
Feedback: Yes
Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing or any of it's characters. I am NOT getting paid for this. Do NOT attempt to sue me. You will NOT get anything AT ALL from me. I am poor, and unemployed.

Now that said, the warnings: I don't condone the usage of drugs or alcohol, but it's not named "The Downward Spiral" for nothing. You may not want to see Duo in a bad situation, making bad choices… but despite what anyone says, Duo isn't perfect.

Part 4:

Cordelia stood in the doorway. Those formally crazy eyes filled with horror and compassion, and then anger. Duo was dressed now, but she saw the marks on his face. She spoke only one word as if to begin a sentence, "What…" She stood stunned, staring, until Duo spoke. "I didn't want anyone to see me like this, but…" He trailed off. Cordelia knew who did it, and was ready to kill him. "Where… Where is he?" She growled. "I… Don't know. He left a while ago." Duo blinked. He didn't know what she was capable of. She was fuming. Then he thought about what Heero might think if he caught her here. He stood and held out his hand, "Would you like to go for a walk?" Her tense shoulders softened, and the anger faded. "Sure thing," she sighed. They said good bye to Quatra, and Duo grabbed his coat. They left before Quatra could protest about his condition. "Where to: The park?" Duo asked. Cordelia had a distant look in her eyes. "Sure…" Duo shrugged, "Okay, but just tell me if you'd like to go anywhere else." She just shrugged again. The park was close, not a very far walk at all, and Duo walked there all the time. It was cold, and clear; you could count every star in the sky. Cordelia stopped still, looked up at the sky, and Duo could see she was thinking. Duo just looked at her, and right now she was beautiful. Her head lowered, and her gaze met his. "I know you wouldn't let Heero beat you if you were just 'roommates'." Duo blinked, shocked by her statement. He said nothing. "I know why you won't leave him. I've been there before. I know you're going to have to figure out a reason to leave him on your own, because I know that no matter what everyone else says your not going to believe them. It's your problem that you are going to have to fix. Heero is not going to change." Duo felt sick. He knew her words to be true. He closed his eyes, and swallowed hard.

Cordelia watched, watched as Duo flopped onto a park bench, watched as he began to weep; and contemplated, contemplated what would happen next. She didn't know what would become of him or of the possibility of 'them'. She starred momentarily wondering, and then came slowly to her senses. She haltingly walked over, sat, and put her arm around him in a attempt to console him. He choked down the tears, "…Boys… d… don't cry… ::sniffle::" Cordelia felt irrepressible pity for him, and employed a full embrace. She whispered in his ear as she did, "Oh, you poor soul." There was a silence. She could smell him now, being so close. His jacket smelled of old cologne and marijuana, while she could smell the salt in the tears upon his face, but what she scented most was him, pure him. She hadn't expected this. She blushed, and was just about to withdraw her hug when, suddenly, he wrapped his arms about her and whispered; "Give me a reason." The tone of his voice suggested a lot more than talking. She jumped back a notch, eyes wide like a wild animal. She didn't know it, but she was breathing hard.

Duo kicked himself for such a spontaneous move the moment he had made it. He didn't know what had come over him. "Please… I… I'm sorry… I shouldn't have-" he was cut off. She'd lunged forward, and was now kissing him. Duo melted into it, and put his arms around her again. She made him feel again; the way Heero used to. It was wonderful. It was everything he had ever wanted, and he didn't want it to end. Eventually it did like all things do, and the two stared into each others' eyes, both with some margin of confusion in them. Duo had that nagging feeling things were going to get complicated, and he knew Heero would be the center of it. Then watched Cordelia close her eyes and resign herself into burrowing her face in his chest as he held her. Duo just looked up at the stars. The wind blew, and then a long silence ensued until Cordelia spoke. "Duo?" "Yeah?" "What now?" "I don't know…" Cordelia cuddled down and laid in his lap face up. Duo looked down upon her, the way she was laying reflected the stars perfectly in her eyes, and he smiled a little.

Heero had been walking in the same direction for hours now. He didn't really know where he was except that he was way down the same street he lived on, all he would have to do is retrace his steps. He stopped and looked around; it wasn't a nice neighborhood. 'I might as well find some cheap hotel to bed down for the night.' Heero thought. Then he thought of what a cheap hotel would be like in this neighborhood. He'd have better luck walking home, so he started. 'Maybe… Maybe I should just start all over; leave and find out who I am somewhere else.' His own train of thought startled him. 'Leave? Why should I leave?' He thought, 'but then again, why should I stay? For Duo, I stay for Duo… No, he'd be better off without me.' Heero closed his eyes, and spoke softly to himself. "I leave tonight." Then he broke into a run. He was going home to pack, he knew there would be a train leaving for the coast at 2 AM, and he'd have to hurry if he was going to make it. No one was home when he got there. Quatra wasn't there, he didn't live there after all, he'd just been hanging around since Trowa started traveling with the circus; but where was Duo? No matter, he was leaving. He packed quickly, never had much to pack anyway, he'd never really put much value in material things. Duo would have to get a job now, if he were to keep the apartment, but he probably wouldn't. Duo hadn't worked since is salvage gig had gone under. 'Quatra will probably take him in for the time being, nothing to worry about.' He thought. Heero called a cab company, and told them to send someone to pick him up around the corner. He didn't want anyone seeing him leave. He was packed and everything was in order, so he set out to where the cab would pick him up on the corner.

A week passed, no Heero, he'd just left in the night without a note or anything. It wasn't like him, or maybe it was. Duo never really knew. Maybe he'll come back, right now he didn't care. The rent was due, and right now he needed a job. If by chance he couldn't find one, he had friends, he wouldn't be without a roof. Him and Cordelia had agreed not to have a relationship until they both had cleared their heads, and knew what they were getting into. It seemed like a perfectly good plan to him. He hadn't seen Niko in a while, but didn't feel like he would need to at least for a long, long time. He felt like he was beginning a new life and that he was going to grab it with both hands.


The End
(I think)