Standard disclaimer apply. I don't own the boys; they belong to Bandai. The songs belong to Backstreet Boys; for those of you who are unfamiliar with the band, the song in the first part is "Show Me the Meaning of Being Lonely", and the second one is "Back To Your Heart".
This fic contains shounen ai, so if you're agaist that kind of thing, don't read it.
Another major warning: This thing is full of sappiness.. beside angst, but the latter is not unusual for me. *sigh* Don't ask me why I wrote this sap. I'm not sure either.

//...// indicates the lyrics, in case you get confused.

And now... On with it!


A Lesson to Learn
by Dark Blaze


Part One

"Fuck you Heero! Damn you to hell!"

Duo has walked out on him; the slamming of the front door clearly rings the finality of the American's decision. He has felt guilty - maybe he shouldn't have hit the baka so hard - but he quickly dismisses the whole thing.

He has thought Duo would quit sulking after a while, but the American never came back home that night. He has then gone to work as usual, thinking it would strike as odd in his co-workers' eyes if he didn't show up.

That night he came back to a half empty apartment. Duo has come home only to get his belongings. Only his personal belongings. All the things they share are left for Heero. As if that alone isn't enough, the American hsa also - deliberately - left behind the keys for their apartment.

Upon seeing the keys, reality finally drawns on Heero.

Duo is not coming back. Not now, probably not ever.

//Show me the meaning of being lonely//
//So many words for the broken heart//
//It's hard to see in a crimson love//
//So hard to breathe//

He keeps up with his normal behavior and succeeds quite well. Any onlookers will think that nothing is wrong with him. But in the inside...

//Walk with me and maybe//

Maybe if he tells himself often enough, he will believe it, too...

//Nights of light so soon become//
//Wild and free I could feel the sun//

He doesn't need Duo. If the loudmouth baka never returns, then let him be. He doesn't care. he doesn't need anyone. He is strong; he can survive on his own.

Maybe.. if he keeps on thinking that way...

//Your every wish will be done//
//They tell me//

He sighs.

The truth is, he knows that is a lie, one in capital letters and underlines.

Iie, he might survive alone, but that's all it will be, survive. It won't be living but merely existing, just like before...

//Show me the meaning of being lonely//
//Is this the feeling I need to walk with//

He sighs and rubs out the dirt in his eyes.

"Duo.. Where are you?"

//Tell me why I can't be there where you are//
//There's something missing in my heart//

Time goes by, and the void inside him grows wider and deeper, faster with each passing moment. He can still pretend to everyone else that nothing has happened, but he can no longer denies to himself the hollowness that is gnawing him inside.


//Life goes on as it never ends//
//Eyes of stone observe the trends//
//They never say forever gaze//

He keeps on pretending that he is still in control over his life. But he knows better; he has lost that control the day Duo walked out.

It has become harder to stay at the apartment. It no longer feels like home. And the silence has become too much to bear.

That's why today he finally gives in and decides to wander around after work instead of going straight back at the apartment - he can't even call the place home anymore; it has become simply... a place.

It was a bad decision, he soon realizes.

His feet enjoy the freedom and immediately move on their own accord to the places he went with Duo.

Everywhere he turns, he sees a pair of sparkling violet eyes, laughing lips, waves of chestnut hair... And every memory just slams the nails in his heart deeper. His steps are tainted more and more with guilt; he was, after all, the one who drove Duo away. He has long come to that conclusion.

//Guilty road to an endless love//
//There's no control//

He sighs. "Duo, if only..." He stops abruptly.

//Are you with me now?//
//Your every wish will be done//
//They tell me//

There's no more denial now. He is lonely. And he needs Duo.

//There's nowhere to run//
//I have no place to go//

He thought he could always be in control, but the fact is, he lost that when he fell for Duo. His every being became Duo's to control at that very moment.

And to be truthfull, he wants to keep it that way.

//Surrender my heart, body and soul//
//How can it be you're asking me to feel//
//The things you never show//

"You were the one who was in control, Duo. Not me. I
know it now. How could I when I don't even know what
that control is? No one ever showed me..."

//You are missing in my heart//

"I need you..."

//Tell me why I can't be where you are//

"So Duo..."

//Show me the meaning of being lonely//
//Is this the feeling I need to walk with//
//Tell me why I can't be there where you are//
//There's something missing in my heart//

"Please, wherever you are, come home. Come back to me..."



Part Two

//It's not that I can't live without you//
//It's just that I don't even want to try//
//Every night I dream about you//
//Ever since the day we sid goodbye//

A year has passed. Heero still wakes up alone.

It has become so unbearable now, this loneliness, that he has often been tempted to just use sleeping pills to lull himself into deep sleep. But he doesn't dare. He doesn't want to, afraid that it might give birth to the urge for overdoze. Afraid that he might not be able to resist if such urge comes to him.

//If I wasn't such a fool//
//Right now I'll be holding you//

He misses him, that's true. But...

Does Duo feel the same?

//There's nothing that I wouldn't do//
//Baby if I only knew//
//The words to say//
//The road to take//
//To find a way back to your heart//

The truth is, he has managed to track Duo down. He has found his lover... ex-lover, he reminds himself.

He has found Duo, true. But he has also seen the American's new life. And Duo seems to be happy, even without him.

He wants Duo back, but...

Does Duo want him back?

//What can I do//
//To get to you//
//And find a way back to your heart//

His personal life is getting more and more out of control now, the effect of the chaos in his love-life. And the problems in his personal life are starting to take toll on him at work. It's an inevitable chain-reaction.

//I don't know how it got so crazy//
//But I'll do anything to set things right//

He hates the unproffesionalism he has started to show and will like nothing better for everything to be normal again. But...

"If only I knew how.. Duo..."

//Cause your love is so amazing//
//Baby you're the best thing in my life//

He doesn't even bother to deny it anymore. Duo was the only right thing that happened to him. His only chance for happiness. And in his own fears and doubts, he destroyed that chance. And now...

Will he ever get that chance again?

//Let me prove my love is real//
//And make you feel the way I feel//
//I promise I would give the world//
//If only you would tell me//

He can't take it anymore. He decides it's better to talk to Duo. And maybe...

Maybe he'll get his second chance...

//The words to say//
//The road to take//
//To find a way back to your heart//

Maybe Duo will forgive him. Maybe...

If not... Iie, he won't think of that. He will make sure that won't happen. Because if it does...

He makes up his mind and chooses the day to meet Duo. It will be that day, the anniversary of the day they got together.

//What can I do//
//To get to you//
//And find a way back to your heart//

He will confront Duo today.. Iie. He will go to Duo and ask for a second chance. He will not falter. This is too important. He has learned that without Duo, his life is one living hell.

//Give me one more chance//
//To give my love to you//
//Cause no one on this earth//
//Loves you like I do//

He prepares himself quite well. The clothes Duo likes the best to see on him.. No cologne or that sort; Duo prefers him that way. His hair... He tries to arrange the locks, but they are as stubborn as ever, and he finally gives up on them.

On his way, he picks up some of Duo's favorite flower - white roses - and combine them with red roses. Hopefully, this will work.

Now, if he only knows what to say...

//Tell me...//
//The words to say//
//The road to take//
//To find a way back to your heart//

He's finally here!

Wiping his damp palms on his jeans, he takes a deep breath then knocks.

A moment later the door swings open almost silently and Duo appears.

Heero swallows with difficulties; his love is still so beautiful! The deep violet eyes... the wide, full lips... the glistening chestnut hair...

//What can I do//
//To get to you//
//And find a way back to your heart//

The American is finally able to control his shock. A frown starts to appear on the lovely face.

//I'll turn back time//
//To make you mine//
//And find a way back to your heart//

Hero's heartbeat is racing so fast, he is sure the other young man can hear it. He is afraid, so afraid that Duo will reject him...

//I beg and plead//
//Fall to my knees//
//To find a way back to your heart//

All his plans, all the words he has planned to say are forgotten. He can only stare...

//The words to say//
//The road to take//
//To find a way back to your heart//

His jaw works, but there's no words out.

Duo's frown deepens, almost into a scowl.

//What can I do//
//To get to you//
//And find a way back to your heart//

No!! His mind screams in denial. His fear wins out, and he shoves the flower to the surprised American's hands.

//The words to say//
//The road to take//
//To find a way back to your heart//

He doesn't know what he is saying. He doesn't care what he is saying. As long as Duo doesn't go away...

He needs to tell Duo how he really feels.

He needs a second chance...

He asks... begs... Anything... Everything..

//What can I do//
//To get to you//
//To find a way back to your heart//

Duo kisses him, effectively stealing away his words and his breath.

"..Duo..?" He dares himself to hope, to believe...

The American smiles, his violet eyes warm and gentle.

"All you have to do is ask, Heero." He whispers softly. "You just need to ask.."

They kiss again. Then, hand in hand, they disappear into Duo's apartment.




All right. Any comments? Suggestions?
Tell me what you think.