6-5-2001 (revised)

Title: Five Souls
Author: AstroKender
Pairings: none
Warnings: Angst
Spoilers: Takes place during the episodes in which Quatre is going Zero System and WuFei and Duo are slowly suffocating in the cell on the moonbase.
Notes: Loser is by 3 Doors Down.
Feedback: AstroKender@insight.rr.com
Disclaimers: I own nothing...Don't sue.

/Lyrics/

 

/Breathe in right away; nothing seems
to fill this place/

A chestnut-haired boy falls to his knees, gasping. There is no escape this time. No escape but death. Cobalt eyes gaze sightlessly over at his ebony-haired companion. But there is no hope, no consolation there. Lungs gasp for air as blackness threatens to envelope him. Still, he fights, not willing to give up.

/I need this every time, take your
lies get off my case/

Eyes the color of coal close tiredly. They could no longer watch the life slowly drain from his companion. Fists clench with helplessness. There is not enough air for one person, let alone two. He has to make a choice. Sweat drips down a furrowed brow as the internal conflict grips him.

/Some day I will find, a love that flows
through me like this/

Cold blue eyes focus on the task at hand. In order to save a place that cares nothing for him, he must fight, must kill, a comrade. Years of training fight with newly revealed emotions. A puppet soldier in a constant war with himself. Damp palms clench the controls in determination. He will not -cannot- fail.

/This will fall away. This will fall away/

An emerald-eyed boy peers desperately through a shield a hair and glass. His hand comes up to his face reflexively, but encounters the cold surface of a helmet. One mask is replaced with another. He rushes to save a colony, and a friend. Intuition tells him he cannot save both, and it is never wrong. Someone will die today.

/You're getting closer, to pushing me
Off of life's little edge/

Aquamarine eyes remain wide and unseeing. The blond is not dead, physically, but the pain from the inside is enough to kill him a hundred times over. The gentle exterior has shattered, leaving a dark and tortured soul uncovered for the first time. All he knows is they must pay.

/Cause I'm a loser and sooner or later
you know I'll be dead/

The long haired boy bites his lip in defeat. His normally indomitable spirit is extinguished by the bitter truth of their fate. There is no running this time. There is nowhere to hide. With one last glance at his stoic companion, indigo eyes close. Curling up in a ball, he waits for fate to claim him.

/You're getting closer, you're holding the
Rope and I'm taking the fall/

Dark-eyes watch as the only light dies with every gasping breath. A rope of chestnut falls beside him, and he forces himself not to touch it. Only the weak need comfort. They were not weak. Lying flat on his back, he stares at the ceiling above. He has makes his decision, he only hopes it is not too late.

/Cause I'm a loser. I'm a loser, yeah/

Five pairs of eyes close in anguish. Five sets of fists clench. Hope dies with every shaky breath. The people they fight for have forsaken them. They only have their own cold, lonely thoughts. Destiny has picked up the game board and scattered the pieces. Torn, five voices scream silently.

/This is getting old; I can't break these
Chains that I hold/

Prussian eyes narrow as their target is sighted. It all will end here, in one form or another. The mission was clear. He will eliminate all obstacles. Inside, a little boy strains against the bonds of his training. A vision flashes across his mind, but is quickly suppressed. The boy he faces is no innocent. A ghost of a girl and her puppy look on sadly.

/My body's growing cold, there's nothin
left of this mind or my soul/

A shudder racks the slender figure. Emerald orbs become haunted as a chill runs down his spine. He somehow knows that this chill will haunt him for a long time. Lips part in a silent plea. He does not wish to fight, but his path has been dug too deeply. The walls of fate arch above him, casting a shadow over his soul.

/Addiction needs a pacifier; the buzz of
this poison is taking me higher/

Pale lips part in a ghastly parody of a smile. Locks blond hair cling damply to the sweat covered forehead. Revenge is near. Hatred courses through his veins, darker than the most deadly poisons. His thirst must be quenched in the lives of those who have abandoned him. The pacifist is addicted to blood.

/This will fall away. This will fall away/

Tired lungs burn with the strain of expanding with nothingness. He is empty. Empty of Hope. Empty of Life. Darkness blinds him. Death sucks the air from his lips. The world spins around dull cobalt orbs. Dark wings flutter in the shadows, waiting to take him home. He is falling, with no way to catch himself.

/You're getting closer, to pushing me
off of life's little edge/

Black eyes are closed. The heart is stilled, the breath held. He stands at the edge of a yawning abyss. He is prepared to lose himself to save the other. He will sleep and possibly never awaken. But violet eyes urge him on. He will not let their light die. The ebony-haired boy throws himself off the edge.

/Cause I'm a loser and sooner or later
you know I'll be dead/

Blue eyes shine with determination. The one he fights is no longer the boy he once knew. He is engaging the enemy. With all his might he fights his former comrade. Metal groans with the force of his blows. He will not stop until the threat is destroyed. No matter what the cost, he will give up everything but victory.

/You're getting closer, you're holding
the rope and I'm taking the fall/

Green eyes watch helplessly as comrade fights comrade. Both are bent on destroying the other. Suddenly he can take it no more. No more must die for his mistakes. He knows his live means nothing, but his death could save a soul. He throws himself in between the warring forces. It has to end.

/Cause I'm a loser. I'm a loser!/

Eyes the color of the ocean waves widen in horror. What has he done? Destroying his home? Fighting his friends? He has made a grave error and now his closest friend will pay the price. He tries to reach him in time, but his path is blocked. Hard blue eyes stare at him impassively. Why doesn't he help?

/You're getting closer, to pushing me
off of life's little edge/

The battle is lost. All his energy, his smiles, did nothing to stop the inevitable. The silence is deafening. His voice whispers dryly past his throat like the tongue of a corpse. Everything and everyone has left him. He has nothing left. Lids suddenly too heavy slide over unseeing violet orbs. His own whispers die.

/Cause I'm a loser and sooner or later
you know I'll be dead/

Sloe-eyes fight to penetrate the darkness around him. He floats through an endless void. Even with all his effort, his life still slips away inch by inch. Mental fingers claw for purchase, but encounter nothing. He is empty. He is alone. The only thing he can do is give up. He lets himself fall away.

/You're getting closer, you're holding
the rope and I'm taking the fall/

He fights alone now. Sweat dampened hands slip off the controls and he struggles to recover. But it is useless. His enemy is everywhere and he cannot escape. He will not escape. The mission is everything. Blue eyes clench in pain as blows rain down like water. Defeated, he lets the darkness claims him.

/Cause I'm a loser!/

He is cold, so cold. Emptiness surrounds him inside and out. He wishes desperately for the warm comfort of unconsciousness, but all peace eludes him. He will never be warm again. He can feel himself slipping away. Floating helplessly as memories flit through his head. One by one, those memories dissolve.

/You're getting closer, to pushing me
off of life's little edge/

He has destroyed everything. One friend is gone and the other he cradles his in his arms as tears fall unheeded down his face. He caused all this. Guilt and sorrow shadow the aquamarine eyes. He had fell off the edge and it had taken the sacrifice of someone dear to bring him back. He has never felt more unworthy.

/Cause I'm a loser and sooner or later
you know I'll be dead/

Five pairs of eyes close in defeat. Five sets of lungs exhale. The odds have been against them from the beginning. They only had been avoiding the inevitable. They have given their best, but it is not enough. No peace will come of their struggles. The war will continue ruthlessly. Five souls cry in helplessness.

/You're getting closer, you're holding
the rope and I'm taking the fall/

The sparkle in amethyst orbs slowly dies. Eyes of obsidian reflect only unending emptiness. The determination slips from eyes of sapphire. Emerald orbs loose all recognition. And turquoise eyes dim with sorrow. Five souls struggle to live. Five souls pray to die. Five souls shine brightly against the darkness.

/Cause I'm a loser!/