6-7-2001

Title: Staying Buried
Author: Yokatta
Warnings: serious AU, probable OOC, angsty/depressing, language... lots of language, yaoi!
Pairings: eventually
Disclaimer: *draws line* this is my half of the fic and that's your half... you stay on your side and we'll get along fine
Feedback: yes... yes!... YES!!
Email: kyoki41@hotmail.com

 

In the agonizing silence, my self-doubt flares up, reaching such a volume that it almost drowns out everything. Almost. One word, whispered hesitatingly and fearfully comes from the frozen being in front of me.

"Heero..."
__________
Part 8

I've been unraveled. That's the only statement I can use to describe my current state. Before I was tightly woven, nothing got in and nothing came out. Now I'm just a pile of single threads, everything getting in and everything coming out. I don't like vulnerability, which is why I'm scared as hell right now. The door's been opened and the hurricane is heading straight for me.

"Heero?" This time it's a choked question, like it's possible that I've been mistaken for someone he once knew. I've got to answer him, let him know that I'm not a deaf mute. My voice won't work, or maybe it has something to do with the fact that my brain is still in a pitiful haze. The look on his face says that he's not going to stand here much longer, waiting for me to respond. I haven't even said anything and already I'm screwing this all up.

"Hi, Duo." Oh shit that sounded so stupid, but at least my brain decided to join in again.

"Hi." He seems so bewildered. I'm sure that on his list of things to do for today, 'have uncomfortable conversation with long lost friend' was not one of them.

"It's been a long time." Obviously. I only said that my brain started working again, I didn't say that it was working well.

"No shit."

It's my turn to say something, but I know nothing I say will sound anymore intelligent than the shit I've already been spewing. He does me a favor.

"Why are you here?" How to say that I stopped because blue is a nice color and it was my girlfriend who shoved me in here without making myself sound dumb?

"Blue is a nice color and it was my girlfriend who shoved me in here." Did I just say that out loud?

"What?" Holy shit, I did say that out loud. Backtrack like hell.

"I meant… uh… it's a long story." He doesn't look too thrilled. I take this time to remember that I said the word "girlfriend" with the word "my" in front of it. Uh oh.

"If you say so," he mumbles. Someone throw on the emergency alarm because this ship is going down fast. Where's the mad scientist when you need him? I need a time machine and I need one now. The past few minutes can't have been real and just to make sure, I need to relive them. I hadn't expected that I would be suave when I was ungraciously shoved in here, but I most assuredly hadn't expected to make a complete ass of myself. Think, idiot, think.

"How have you been?" Ok, it's getting a little better.

"Look, Heero, is there something you wanted? I'm kinda busy." Ok, it's getting a whole lot worse.

"I... I just wanted to see you again." Is it just me or did that seem a tad needy?

"Why?"

Because I miss you.

"..." Mentally, the bullet just went through my temple. He looks so defeated as he turns around and begins walking away.

"Bye, Heero." This was not supposed to happen. I know Fate hates me, but there must be some way to perform a happy ending.

"Wait, have dinner with me." I call this my last ditch effort.

"Why?" he asks without turning.

Because I need you. Because if I keep living like this I'll die. Because I lo-

"You don't have to, I... I just..."

He looks over his shoulder waiting for me to finish, but my brain has stopped again. He sighs and once again turns his back to me.

"Fine. Tomorrow night, 8 o'clock at Chappelle's."

"Thank you, Duo."

"For what?"

"For not giving up on me," I whisper.

He merely returns to the back room he came from, shutting the door loudly behind him. I stand absolutely still for a few heartbeats, that is until everything sinks in. My surge of adrenaline makes me want to run over and hug one of the sculptures but instead I exit through the front door, intending to hug that genius named Alexis instead.

 

TBC...

 

AWWWW! Heero's so cuuute when he's all flustered!