6-4-2001

*super mega happy dance* This part's kinda short and it's soooo evil at the end... mwuhahaha!

Title: Staying Buried
Author: Yokatta
Warnings: serious AU, probable OOC, angsty/depressing, language... lots of language, alcohol... lots of alcohol, yaoi!
Pairings: eventually
Disclaimer: *draws line* this is my half of the fic and that's your half... you stay on your side and we'll get along fine
Feedback: yes... yes!... YES!!
Email: kyoki41@hotmail.com

 

"He lived across town in a small house with his adoptive mother, an old matronly woman who spoiled him rotten with what little they had. He never once mentioned his parents and I never pressed him to, I could tell how much that hurt him, and I wouldn't be the one to cause him more pain. When I told him that I lived with my aunt and uncle, he just nodded and I knew that he understood, that nothing else needed to be said. We had suffered similar fates, something that I believe brought us closer together.

"He and I--" An incessant ringing cuts off my narrative.
__________
Part 5

Cell phones, one piece of modern technology that I despise. We both glare at her purse wedged on the floor between us. Alexis hastily digs around for it and answers.

"Hello?" Silence.

"Yes?" Silence.

"Oh no." Silence.

"Yes of course, we'll be right there. Bye." She hangs up and looks at me with dread. "It's your uncle. His condition is worsening."

This news has no affect on me at all. She's expecting me to say something.

"Alexis, I'll make no excuses. I hate my uncle. I don't care that he's dying. I know that it's difficult on Pauline, but that bastard tore apart my life so why should I mourn for him?"

"I know you don't think I understand, but I do, I really do," she says quietly. "I don't believe that you'll mourn for him, but don't make this harder for your aunt than it has to be. She's taking all this very badly, and no matter how horrible she was to you in the past, she's still family, and I'm sure she cares about you in some way. It might be misguided but it's there." I hate it when she makes sense.

"Alright. Let's go."

The closer we come to that hospital, the more I feel like I'm re-entering the mine field. Sooner than I'd like we're walking the halls towards the intensive care unit. Pauline's out in front of his room and obviously has been crying. Alexis goes up to her and begins the consoling. This is only the first day they've ever met and already they're acting like long-lost relatives. I just stand apart from them, looking down the hallway and observing the staff at work. I can't share in her grief nor can I offer support. She's on the side of the enemy and nothing will dissuade me.

I turn in their direction as soon as I notice them watching me. I won't give in. I want to hurt my aunt as much as she's hurt me. She never once stopped him from mocking me, from hitting me. He banned me from life and she stood idly by as it happened. I will never forgive. And I will never forget. I won't let myself move on. I will carry a grudge until I die.

With a nudge from Alexis, my aunt enters his room. Once alone, she hangs her head and moves to stand next to me.

"Your aunt wants to stay by his side tonight. I assume that you want to go back to the house." Oh however could she guess?

My only response is to turn and start walking towards the parking lot. If she followed me, I have no idea. I'm not going directly to the house anyway. I need a drink. The only liquor store in the area is twenty minutes away. Two birds, one stone. A bottle of booze and a night drive should help me immensely.

I speed away into the night, trying to leave everything behind, but it follows me everywhere. That's what it's all comes down to. A life of captivity. No end and no escape. I stop all these thoughts and focus on that bottle of alcohol. Whiskey, scotch, vodka, rum. It doesn't matter, just whatever one is closest to the entrance of the store. It looks to be a vodka night.

Bottle acquired and I'm pulling into the driveway. I can face this now because I have backup. Straight to the kitchen for a glass. Alexis is there, clearing away the remains of the afternoon tea.

"Want a drink?" I ask, startling her. I hold up the bottle.

"No. I just took some aspirin."

"Come on, live dangerously." She throws a mock glare over her shoulder and returns to the dishes. I swipe a tumbler from the cupboard and fill it to the top.

"Cheers," I say lightly and polish it off in two gulps. "I never got to finish my little story. Still interested? Or have I wallowed in self-pity long enough?" Alcohol always makes me moody.

"I wouldn't call it 'self-pity.' I just think you've finally realized that opening up to people isn't as dreaded as you've made it seem." I *really* hate it when she makes sense.

Two more drinks and I'm ready to talk the night away. I situate myself on the couch in the living room, across from that stupid Christmas tree. The bottle goes on the floor next to me. She chooses an over-stuffed arm chair on my left.

"Now, where was I?" Scratch that, it doesn't make me moody so much as melodramatic. "Oh yes, Duo. My best friend. Let me just jump right in and say that I was infatuated with him. He wasn't just unique, he was gorgeous. I was in love with him. I didn't even know I was capable of loving someone. And as it turns out, he was in love with me too.

"So what to do? Two young boys, in love, living in a strictly conservative, practically homophobic town, doing the only thing we could do: hiding it from everyone. I got the feeling that Quatre, Trowa, and Wufei knew, just because we were a close group, but neither he nor I ever told them.

"It had taken us nearly to the end of that first summer to realize one another's feelings. It just came as a revelation one day. We had been hanging out at Trowa's house before everyone went their separate ways for the rest of the day. Duo and I had nothing to do, so we went exploring and ended up in that clearing, where we were earlier today. We sat down on that stump, looked at each other, and…" My words drift off.

"And what?" she asks gently.

"He kissed me."

 

TBC...

^________^ I told you it was evil.