Disclaimer: Don't own Gundam Wing. This is solely for entertainment purposes. Please don't sue.
Note: OOC, Changing POVs, Cross-dressing
Previous chapters can be found at the following:
Who's Fooling Who
Dont forget to pack the pink dress, Duo.
Argh. You know, Heero, if I didnt know any better, I would think you have a thing for pink.
Hn. Maybe. But only because youre so against it.
Duo calmly faces me. Once he is sure he has my full attention, he flips me the bird.
Duo can be so adorable when he is annoyed.
Hm maybe I should warn him that the girls school uniform at Sakura Garden is pink.
Why are you smirking, Heero?
Nothing. I have something for you, Duo.
Duos eyes brighten. Really.
I almost feel bad for giving him this. Almost.
Here. I show Duo the pink lingerie he tried on at Victorias.
He makes a face. Keep it, Heero. Im going to bed.
As Duo climbs into bed, he stumbles across my real gift for him. Pulling a black jewelry box from under the covers, Duo stares at his gift with wide eyes. With steady hands, Duo lifts the lid to reveal two pairs of magnetic stick-on earrings; one pair is violet to match his eyes, the other is royal blue to complement them.
The smile on Duos face is all I need to know that he likes his gift.
Thanks, Heero. These are perfect.
Youre welcome, Duo. Now go to sleep.
One minute, I was in a nice cozy dream, the next, Im wide-awake and not sure why.
Its dark. The only things I can hear are breathing and heart beats. The only thing moving is my pillow
I freeze and hold my breath.
Im cuddling Heero again.
I move my head slightly, trying to see if hes awake. His eyes arent open. His breathing is stable and even.
Hes sound asleep.
I feel a tug on my braid. I turn my head and find it wrapped around his hand.
I smile and resume my previous position on his chest. I might as well milk this moment as much as I can.
I take a deep breath and drown myself in Heeros scent. I love the way he smells. The best way I can describe his scent is warm. It reminds me of freshly dried laundry just taken out of the dryer, of a sunny afternoon, when the air is warm on your skin and caresses your insides as you breath it in, of home of baking...
This is nice.
All of a sudden, Heeros body tenses.
I freeze, hoping Heero hasnt woken up yet. I slowly lift my head to gaze upon his face.
Nope, Heero is still asleep. He must be dreaming.
His body relaxes as his dream continues. A small smile crosses his face and I wonder what Heeros dreaming about.
He looks so young and precious with that smile.
Smiling dreamily, I lay my head gently back onto his chest.
A few minutes of lulling heart beats later, I hear Heero utter one name breathlessly, Relena
My face goes blank, as well as my mind. My heart, on the other hand, caves and plummets down.
Heero wraps his arms around me and whispers, With my life.
I blink several times, trying to understand whats going on.
Heeros talking in his sleep. Hes dreaming about Relena.
Hes confessing to her.
I shouldnt feel so devastated.
I mean I had hunches that Heero liked Relena. But its one thing to have a hunch; its something totally different to have it confirmed.
Then the words Ive dreamed of hearing from Heero left his mouth. Ai shiteru.
Ive been dreaming for months of a moment similar to this; me cuddling in Heero arms, him whispering in my ear his declaration of love.
But Heero was never supposed to say those words to me and mean them for someone else.
Never to me and for someone else.
I want to be the one he is thinking about, the one hes dreaming of, the one he whispers for. I want . I want to be more than just the only one here. More than a substitute. More than simply a friend.
Heero doesnt see me as anything more than a friend.
He was never mine.
Never thought friendship could seem so final and disappointing.
As Heero holds me in his arms, dreaming about his love, Relena, something wet slips from my right eye and travels down my cheek to my lips. I taste the drop.
It tastes like I feel.
Hm this is nice. I tighten my hold around his warm body, burying my head in his hair, smelling his scent. As I luxuriate sleepily in contented warmth, my brain finally snaps awake and I realize Im no longer dreaming.
Not wanting to wake Duo up, I relax my hold on him minutely, making no sudden movements. As I take my hands completely off of him, his body suddenly tenses. He mumbles a little and shakes his head, still in the throes of sleep. I place one hand on his back, rubbing gently, hoping to comfort him and soothe away his unpleasant dream. Slowly, the tension in his muscles dissolves away, leaving behind a peacefully snuggling angel next to me.
Continuing to rub his back, not wanting him to fall into any more nightmares, I wonder what he was dreaming about. As I ponder this, my most recent dream comes to mind.
I remember being surrounded by fog. I couldnt hear anything. I couldnt see anything but white mist. And I was running, searching for something, rather for someone. I wasnt completely sure who it was I was looking for, but I knew finding him, getting to him, was important. It was the only thing making any sense to me at the time.
I had to find him. It felt like a mission for me to do so. He was always just up ahead, just a little out of reach, promising to slip away if I didnt get to him in time. And then for no apparent reason, I suddenly stopped running. I couldnt believe it was happening. I almost wanted a wall in front of me so that I could either break it down or climb over it. All there was was the fog. And the urgency. I had to find him. I had to keep going. But I couldnt move forward. Then the fog parted, revealing the little girl and her puppy. I didnt remember who she was, just that I knew her from somewhere. She asked me the same thing she did all those years ago, Oniichan, are you lost?
All I did was blink at the little girl. The question didnt make any sense to me, like I didnt hear it. Maybe I didnt. I was so confused.
Ne, are you lost? she asked.
An answer came to me then and it was the only one I could give her, Ive been lost since I was born.
She replied, Oh, poor thing. Im not lost, Im walking Mary. Here. She handed me the yellow flower and said, This is for you. As I accepted the flower, a cloud of mist enveloped the little girl and her puppy, and I knew they were gone. Then whatever force that had kept me there disappeared and I took off running.
I knew I was getting closer to him, and that I had to hurry, he was fading.
Then once again, I stopped running. I remember I screamed in frustration. I was so close. So close. I knew he was a little bit further up ahead.
The fog parted, revealing an older girl this time. A name came to me and I said it, Relena.
It was Relena, and yet it wasnt. The dream-Relena seemed a few years older than the one in real life. But no mattered how she looked, I knew it was her, or rather who she was supposed to be in my dream. She is Relena. She is who she will be.
She asked, Are you lost, Heero?
I didnt know what to say. One answer after another came to mind, and each contradicted the other. I was still confused, lost in a world of mist. But I knew where I had to be, where I must go, where I belong.
I knew the answer was with him. He was the key.
I looked at the flower the little girl gave me and offered it to Relena; it was the only answer I could give her. She accepted it with a smile and I took off once again, breaking through whatever force was holding me there.
After running for who knew how long, and getting closer with each step, I finally escaped the fog and came to a stop before a cliff. He stood near the edge, waiting patiently for me all this time. With bright violet eyes and a warm smile, Duo offered a hand towards me. He said, Its not fun being lost, ne Heero?
I smiled, took his hand and offer. Then he stared intently into my eyes and asked, Do you trust me?
I pulled him into an embrace and said with passion, With my life.
Then he wrapped his arms around me and whispered into my ear, How about with your heart?
I didnt know what to say. So many thoughts ran across my mind; like a simple yes didnt seem like the right answer; like my heart hadnt been mine for some time now; like I couldnt give him something that he already had. So I told him what I hoped was a sum of all those thoughts, Ai shiteru.
Then in each others arms, we fell over the edge.
It was almost too much - the rush, the warmth, the freedom - but I couldnt have enough. It was nothing and everything, no bottom in sight and no end approaching. There wasnt any fear, not when I was with him. He was my safety, my protection, my happiness.
He was my love.
And we fell... for each other... with each other.
Then I woke up.
Interesting dream. Interesting, wishful, and cruel. Very cruel.
As I rub Duos back gently and wrap an arm around his shoulder, I hug him for a moment, stealing it for memory.
Duo, you are my life, my heart, my love. You are everything. And I cant lose you.
I release my hold on him and settle my arms by my side. It is almost time for him to wake up and for my role as friend to resume.
So, what do you think?