Title: Who's Fooling Who 1/?
Disclaimer: Don't own Gundam Wing. This is solely for entertainment purposes. Please don't sue.
Note: TWT, OOC, Changing POVs, Cross-dressing
=what they're reading
Who's Fooling Who
"Heero no baka." <boom> "You suicidal psychopath." <boom> "You jerk." <boom> "You bastard." <boom> "Mr. Perfect Solider." <BOOM>
"You win. Game over. New highest score."
That's the third game and I haven't burned half of my frustration with Heero yet. Argh, I need a drink, but I can't without getting caught around here. Man my luck. Oh well, I guess that's for the best, I don't want to accidentally say or do something I'll really regret later, like telling Heero that I love him, now that would be a major disaster. Man, why do I have to fall for a stone-hearted suicidal bastard like Heero. It hurts to see him pull reckless stunts like that to complete a mission. I thought that after all this time, he would have valued his life more.
No, I must give Heero more credit than that. I know he's trying to be more human, to be as normal as he can. But it's hard to tell when he throws his already damaged gundam into a base full of explosives, in order to set them off earlier than planned. I know the situation was tight, but what he did was plain suicidal. And ordering me to leave, saying at least one of us should survive, <hmph>, he knew it was suicidal. It was almost as bad as if he just self-detonated. But to tell me to leave, I could almost imagine that he cared for me. Well he does, we are best friends after all, real friends, but he doesn't care for me the way I would like him to.
"Um, excuse me miss, but are you finish with that game?"
I really don't feel like being polite or mistaken for a girl, *again*, right now. I usually get mistaken for one at least once a week. It's really annoying and frustrating, and really not good for my male ego.
I narrow my eyes and turn around. The speaker is a boy around my age, not much taller than myself. I growl, "I'm not a girl, I'm a boy." I turn again and walk out of the arcade.
Oh well, I have to get back to my room anyway. I can't really delay seeing Heero until I've completely calmed down. <sigh> Well the initial anger is gone. I'm just frustrated now.
I'm on the sidewalk now, heading back towards campus. It's getting dark since the sun has already set. <bump> "Ow."
"Oh, sorry. I was in a hurry and wasn't looking, sorry about that miss." The guy that bumped into me gave a weak apologetic smile and quickly walked away.
Man, mistaken for a girl twice within a five-minute period. Chi, I'm not having a good day. Might as well take a short cut through the park.
As I past by a group of kids playing soccer, their ball roll over to me.
"Could you please throw the ball back to us miss?"
I look around hoping it's not me they're referring to. Nope. No such luck. I am the only one within hearing distance and close to the ball. I sigh and kick the ball towards the goal and score.
Okay, today really isn't my day. First, I wake up all sore from yesterday's mission. Second, I can't show how upset I am with Heero during class. Third, I'm still upset with Heero.
Why do I have to care for that bastard? I love him so much that it hurts. Argh, and he almost died yesterday. And to top everything off I have been mistaken for a girl three times already in the past ten minutes.
I'm back at the dorm. Only a few doors before I reach my room.
"Excuse me, but by any chance do you happen to have the time?"
"It's almost 7:00."
"Almost 7:00. Okay, thanks miss."
I grit my teeth and continue on my way to my room. I open the door and enter.
"I had it," I yell as I storm into my shared dorm room.
Heero, my roommate, partner, and the oblivious object of my affections, remain unfazed as he continues to work in his laptop like I hadn't even entered the room.
"If one more person calls me 'Miss', 'Girl', or my favorites at the department stores, 'Ma'am' or 'Madam', I mean not only do they mistaken me for a girl, they have to insult me farther by calling me old. I mean it, if one more person mistakes me for a girl again, I'm going to... I'm going to scream. I might even deck the guy."
Duo's upset. But about what though? Being mistaken for a girl is not new to Duo. He has been mistaken for one almost his entire life. Even if Duo didn't have his long braid, he would still be mistaken for a girl anyway because, simply put, Duo is beautiful, inside and out.
Most people only notice Duo's large violet eyes, his delicate heart-shaped face, and his silky hair. But for the lucky ones who actually get to know Duo. Those who witness his love for life, his cheerfulness, his strength, his selflessness, his giving of himself completely to others, will realize, like I did, that the only thing more beautiful than Duo is Duo himself.
But of course I will never admit this out loud. I value our friendship too greatly to ruin it by telling him what I really feel towards him. I lo... No, I mustn't go there. I care deeply about Duo. I can at least admit that much to myself now. I'm his best friend. I'm content with that.
I have, every now and then, whisper my thanks to any gods or goddesses watching over me for this and pray that that is enough and that I never really want more than that, but lately I'm getting the feeling that they never heard those particular prayers.
I stated before that to live a good life, one must follow your feelings. But I can't follow mine. For if I do, I would no longer be living. Oh I would still be alive, but my life would only be an existence like before. I hadn't lived before Duo came into my life, and I don't know if I could ever live a life without him in it. Duo is everything to me. I never want to see him hurt. I've been trying to protect him long before I realized he meant anything to me, even as a friend.
I wonder if I've become more cautious or more reckless during missions because of my protectiveness of Duo.
That's it. Of course, Duo is still upset with me about yesterday's mission.
Another mission with Duo as my partner. We have to infiltrate this particular Oz base to retrieve the new plans for the Mobile Dolls and destroy the base once done. We have been planting bombs and explosives along our route in and out of the base. The timer is set to go off in 30 minutes, plenty of time to escape.
As we left the base, the alarm went off, someone must have come across one of the bombs. We barely made it to our gundams and power up before 80 Leos attacked us. By the time only 20 were left, Wing and Deathscythe have sustained heavy damage and we could see more Leo reinforcements approaching our way.
I look around trying to find a way out of this situation. I see the self-detonate button. I hear Duo cursing through the comm unit. On my left screen, I can see Duo in his cockpit, with a look of determination on his face. No, I can't do this to Duo again, he was really upset the first time I self-detonated. There must be another way out of this.
The Leo reinforcements are almost here. If only we set the explosives to go off earlier...
That's it. I have a plan, but the chances for survival are slim, well it's a lot better than self-detonating.
I look to see where Duo is positioned. He is fighting on the outskirts of the base, still too close for comfort.
"Duo get the hell out of here, one of us should at least survive."
"Heero, what the hell are you planning to do? Heero? HEERO?!"
I didn't answer him as I ram into the remaining Leo, bringing it with me to the base. I needed to set off a change reaction with the explosives in order to take down the base and a huge chuck of the approaching Leos, which are almost here. I would have used my beam canon, but that got jammed during the battle. So the next best thing is an exploding Leo.
I can hear Duo cursing and calling to me. It's strange, but I can't help but smirk to that. Well, if I'm going to die, it's nice to know that Duo will be safe and the last thing I'll hear is him calling my name.
The Leo and Wing crash through several walls before we stop. I take out my beam sword and cut the Leo in half. I change Wing to flight mode and pull the thrusters. Wing shot out of the base as fast as it could, just as the first explosion went off.
I see Deathscythe at the outskirts, where it was before. I look at Duo's face on the screen. The emotions on his face went by so fast that I couldn't recognize all of them before he settle for a look that just says 'pissed off as hell'.
"Duo, we better get the hell out of here."
Deathscythe takes off, following not far behind Wing. I spare a moment to look at the Leo reinforcements. Most are destroyed and the few remaining ones are too badly damage to follow us. Safe. Duo and I both made it out alive. And I just know Duo will be chewing me off later about how reckless I was. I don't care. As long as Duo is safe, what happens to me doesn't matter.
(Two hours later and back at their dorm room)
"Duo, you have already been ranting for the last two hours about the mission."
"Would you rather prefer me to refer to it as lecturing, nagging, or whatever you like me to refer it to?"
"I prefer to call it trying to knock some sense into a stubborn friend who seems to have a death wish for the risks he takes."
I slip out of my clothes, leaving my briefs on and climb into my bed.
"Hn. Since you don't seem in the mood to let it drop, at least continue this later. We still have to attend classes and take one of our final exams in about 4 hours from now, which leaves us with 3 hours of sleep at best. After being awake for over 72 hours and just completed a mission, even I have to admit rest is needed if we plan to past our exams in the morning, besides you look like you need some rest as much as I do."
"Well, you don't look so hot yourself."
I immediately even out my breathing, pretending to have already fallen asleep, leaving Duo with no choice but to give up and pursue sleep himself. I hear him release a huge exasperated sigh and the sound of clothes shifting as he also gets ready for bed.
I know pretending to be asleep seems cowardly of me, but your eyes, your voice, your face, they hold so much hurt, pain, anger, fear, and is that loneliness, that if I have let you continued for another five minutes, I might have done something I would really regret later.
You want to know why your closest friend, your best friend is so willing to die after everything you did in trying to teach him to enjoy life, to value it? Well, you wouldn't want to hear the truth.
I'm physically and mentally exhausted right now. I'm slowly losing the battle to hold back the desire to yell, yes yell, that I rather get hurt, self-detonate, die, as long as in doing so, I protect you, keep you from getting hurt. I want so badly to hold you, to kiss you, to halt those negative emotions currently coursing through you. I want to tell you that I do care about you. That I do value my life a little more than before because of you in it, but if I didn't do something, as you put it, reckless, you might not be alive now and I would do anything to make sure that you do stay alive.
I don't have the strength right now to resist you, to resist your wish to know why. My hold on my self-control is weakening. Only you could do this to me, making me feel so helpless. I want to hold you in my arms and assure you that I do care, but I'm afraid that if I do, I'll never let you go. I'm afraid that if I start admitting that I do care that I won't be able to hold the floodgates to my feelings for you back. I might accidentally slip and say that I do in fact more than care for you, that I value you more than my own life, that I lo no. I can't go there. I mustn't go there. I'll be dooming myself if I do.
You wouldn't want that to happen. I don't want that to happen. I can't let that happen.
Besides, that is not what you want from me. You want to know that I do value my life, that I do care about you, but only in terms of friendship. But I can't do that without risking the rest of my feelings getting through tonight. You don't want the rest of my feelings, you only want my friendship and I'm willing to give whatever you want from me, and more, to make you happy. But all you'll ever want from me is my friendship and that's what you'll get. I am content in being just your friend, your best friend, but right now in my weaken state, that idea is having a hard time setting in.
Once my thoughts slowed down enough for my exhaustion to overwhelm me, I finally drift off to sleep, where I'm with Duo the way I really want to be with him. I feel a touch on my forehead, like he's stroking my hair out of my eyes. He says my name with such longing, it hurts, but in a good way, to hear him say it with feelings as intensely as mine for him.
***end of flashback***
It was such a nice dream, but that's all that was, a dream. I'm only his friend, his best friend, and I am content. And if I tell myself that enough times, I might actually believe it.
I'm drawn back from my thoughts as I secretly watch Duo pacing around our room, yelling how he doesn't like being mistaken for a girl.
"I mean it. The next person who mistakes me for a girl will so get a piece of my mind."
"Hn. It's the hair."
"What do you mean, 'It's the hair'? What, that just because I have long hair that makes me look like a girl."
"Iie. I mean, most people associate long hair with girls." /It also doesn't help most people either that you have a lovely face that makes you look like a beautiful girl. But there is no way I'll tell you that./
"But my hair is in a frigging braid, how do you explain the ones that only see me from the front and my braid is not showing."
"Hn." /Like I'm gong to answer that./
<beep> Hn. Another mission. Duo stops his yelling as I pull the new message up. Let's see another mission for Duo and me.
As I read the message, I can't help but smirk. I must not laugh. I must not laugh. I must not laugh. Duo would kill me if I laugh, well more like he'll go into shock first, then once he finds out what I'm laughing about, then kill me.
"Heero, why are you smirking? Of all the times I've seen you read your mission assignments, I've never seen you do more than say 'Ninmu ryoukai'. What is it?"
"Hn. You better read it yourself."
I turn my laptop towards Duo. I definitely want to see Duo's face and reactions when he finishes the message.
I give Heero a suspicious look. For some reason I know Heero is enjoying this. "I don't like it already. You're acting strange." Then I turn my attention to the laptop.
[Yuy and Maxwell,
Your new mission is to disrupt and crash the computer system of Oz's Japan Headquarters, while retrieving the new plans for all their mobile suits. This mission will require six months to complete, more details will be provided later. You two must attend Sakura Gardens Academy, which is affiliated but is not run by Oz, located five miles from the base. Most children of the staffs and soldiers at that base attend the school, which will provide easier means for you two to gain access into the base.
Unfortunately, the last two available spots on the enrollment are for one boy and one girl, but luckily the remaining rooms are singles and have its own bathroom.]
I paused there in my reading. My eyes widen with the implication of this new mission. I narrow my eyes and spear Heero a look. I could see that his smirk has widened a bit. I narrow my eyes farther. Heero you sadistic bastard. Argh. I might as well finish the message before doing or saying anything though. I turn back to the screen and continue to read. I already know with dread what the rest would say.
[So since one of you two must dress up as a girl to fulfill this new mission, we believe Maxwell would be the most fit to pull that off. Maxwell will have Christmas vacation to get into and practice the roll before you two will attend Sakura Gardens Academy. Further instructions will be provided once this mission is accepted.
"Those bastards. Is this some kind of sick joke? They want me to cross-dress and pretend to be a *girl* for *six months*. Are they insane?"
"Hn. I believe the answer is 'yes' to all of them."
Damn. Heero's smirk has widened farther than before. He must be laughing inside at how indignant I must look.
"You're enjoying this aren't you, you sadist bastard."
"Why me? Why not you? I'm not the only one who has been mistaken for a girl."
Opps. Me and my big mouth. I don't think he likes being mistaken for a girl anymore than I do. But still, why me? Okay, okay, I have a feeling why, but I refuse to answer that question myself. I prefer to be in denial of how much I look like a girl.
Heero, in his monotone voice, very calmly states, "Like you said, you would have to pretend to be a girl for six months. Do you think I can do a better acting job than you can? Your hair, cheerful personality, and the right clothes will fool everyone that you're really a girl a lot easier and longer than myself."
"Well I don't have to like it."
"Look, how about I make a deal with you?"
"Well, I have this feeling that the Docs are crazy enough to have some of our future missions requiring at least one of us to cross- dress again."
"Hn. You're right. The potential of cross-dressing as a disguise have too much advantages for them to pass up."
"So here's the deal, if a mission comes up that needs one of us to cross-dress and within a short period of time, you'll do it. And in return, I'll quit arguing with you about why me and not you about this mission. Or would you rather hear me give you a speech about injustice and unfairness that would make Wufei proud. So is it a deal?"
"Hn. Fine. Deal."
"Good. Oh well, we might as well send in our acceptance."
"Hn. Ninmu ryoukai."
A few minutes after we send in our acceptance, another message came. Heero opens the mail. He scans through it and all of a sudden his eyes bulge out and his jaw slacked a bit, it's the equivalent to anyone else's jaw dropping to the floor.
I'm really freaked out now. I've never seen Heero looked so shocked before. Maybe I got lucky and the Docs decided that Heero would be the one who's cross-dressing.
"Eh... Heero? Mind if I read it."
Heero stares blankly at me for a moment and then pushes his laptop towards me again.
[Yuy and Maxwell,
We have sent an attachment of the details of this mission along with this e-mail.
You two need to enroll in the schools yourselves. After discussing amongst ourselves, we've come to the conclusion that you two would need to pretend to be a couple while attending Sakura Gardens Academy. Try to do a convincing job. You two need to blend in to get better access into the headquarters.
Okay, my jaw definitely hit the floor.