5-30-2001

Title: Forever (Songfic)
Author: Trixie
Status: Complete
Date: February 2001
Archive: Perfectly fine, just please inform me first. ^_^
Pairings: 1x2x1 (no clones, it's just that I never really indicated who was seme and who was uke) ^_~
Rating: R for the bad language
Warnings: Erm... death. Angst. Some OOC. And I suppose it is AU - well sorta... ^_~
Disclaimer: Unfortunately I do not own Gundam Wing or any of the yummy characters, and sadly, I never will. If I did, we would see a lot more nakkid bishonen running around the place instead of blasting stuff with their mobile suits. ^_~ Gundam Wing belongs to Bandai and the song "Who Wants To Live Forever" belongs to Queen.
Author's Notes: ::laughs nervously:: This is my first 1x2 or 2x1 fic... and I'm a bit worried over the characterization of the two. ::sigh:: Ah well. ^_^ Thank you very much for reading, and enjoy! ^_^ Any feedback, be they flames or commentary, is welcomed, but not demanded! ^__^ Thank you again!

~~~~~~
blah denotes lyrics
~~~~~~

BLAH denotes yelling

*~*~*~*~* denotes major flashback
<*><*><*> denotes minor flashback
()~()~()~() denotes scene change in same time period
_blah_ denotes emphasize
//blah\\ denotes speech from the past (not direct dialogue between characters)
"blah" direct dialogue/speech

 

 

Duo's amethyst eyes clouded as they fell upon the perfectly made bed across from his own messy one. His eyes traced over the sheets that were perfectly folded, the pillow that was perfectly on top of them, and goddamn laptop that was perfectly closed and set beside the pillow.

Everything was perfect for the Perfect Soldier.

Well... Almost.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There's no time for us
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A small, sad smile appeared on Duo's shadowed face as he caught site of the gold alarm clock that he had given Heero about a month ago... it still stood on the cheap wooden dresser of their room.

Heero had never used it, never even touched it in fact. He thought it was useless and too loud. He only kept it because Duo had given it to him. And there it was, silently mocking Duo as it sat lifeless.

It had stopped - not by dead batteries, but because Duo had stopped it. Stopped it when...

Duo shook his head to ward off the memories, and looked at the time on the clock's frozen face. But he already knew the time that was displayed indifferently. He always would.

11:34

He didn't even get the chance to say good-bye...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There's no place for us
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tears threatened to fall from Duo's eyes, but he roughly wiped them away. It wouldn't have worked out anyway, not for them.

At least that's what he kept telling himself.

Death was always their bedmate, whispering in their ear everyday. Missions were always there, never ceasing, each one more dangerous than the other.

There was no time, no place, no possibility for... love.

How could there be?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What is this thing that builds our dreams, yet slips away from us...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

With the war going on and endless battles waging, love could only be a dream.

A dream made of hopes and wishes.

A dream that was suddenly taken away, that slipped through Shinigami's own fingers.

Because he was too stupid, too fucking stupid to realize what he had.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Who wants to live forever?
Who wants to live forever...?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Now he was left with only a broken dream.

A broken dream that only cut deeper into his torn heart every time he tried to pick it up.

But, that dream was what had kept him alive, what had given him a reason to live.

To live forever... if that meant if he could make that dream come true.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There's no chance for us,
It's all decided for us
This world has only one sweet moment set aside for us
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

But no.

The dream was shattered, never to be mended; only to be left behind - like Duo.

Duo put his face in his hands as he sat down on the edge of Heero's bed and couldn't help to shed a few lonesome tears.

His body slightly trembling as he cursed Fate, wishing that he could have changed something. Done something - anything - to change what had happened.

Another sob wracked Duo's thin form, and he pulled the white pillow to him, holding it for all its worth. Heero's scent filled Duo's senses and he just held the pillow closer, pretending that it was somehow Heero.

Duo's hand came across something hard, and he released the pillow from his death grip. He quickly stuck his small hand into the pristine pillowcase and took out a small-framed picture. Duo blinked away his tears and squinted in the faint moonlight at the picture.

It was a picture of himself and Heero in the small clearing beside the safe house, with Heero's arms around him as they sat under a tree. He hadn't known that someone had taken a picture of them, and that Heero had kept it.

This was the only picture of the two of them...

The only memento of what had been...

Fresh tears fell onto the thin glass as Duo traced the picture of Heero with a shaking finger.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Who wants to live forever,
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Why? Why Heero? Why did you leave me behind?" Duo whispered, betrayal and indefinite sorrow coloring his tone as he wiped away the tears that had fallen over the glass, blurring the picture for a moment in time.

"You promised... you'd always be there for me... forever... you promised..." Duo's voice hardened as he felt another onslaught of burning tears sting his eyes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Who dares to love forever,
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"You said you'd always be here! ALWAYS! I thought you loved me, dammit! You said! You PROMISED me! Damn you Heero... DAMN YOU!" Duo screamed as he flung the picture across the room as if holding it had burned him. The glass frame shattered as it hit the concrete wall, falling like a deadly waterfall onto the cold floor.

The glittering shards of crystal ice littered the ground like a furious myriad of insanity... and the picture lay crumpled underneath it all...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When love must die?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Duo fell to his knees among the fragments, grasping at the jagged pieces of glass - anything really - sobbing uncontrollably, his tears tracing fiery streams down his flushed cheeks.

"Damn you Heero... I... I... loved you..." Duo choked out before unwanted memories began to wickedly parade themselves in of Duo's mind.

~*~*~*~*~*~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
But touch my tears with your lips
Touch my world with your fingertips
And we can have forever
And we can love forever
Forever is our today.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Silvery ribbons of silken moonlight glimmered through the small dirty window of a small room, gently basking two shadowy figures, one intently bent over a laptop, the other sprawled upon rumpled sheets.

Dancing along a rope of thick hair, the warm beams of ethereal silver listened in on the conversation being held, hoping to gain insight on the human soul.

"Heero?" Duo asked softly, his violet eyes gazing somewhat sadly at the figure busily tapping away at the laptop that seemed to always be at the center of the figure's attention. Duo patiently waited for a response as the figure continued clicking away at the damned keys, and finally gave a long, quiet sigh.

He knew Heero had heard him, and he knew that Heero was waiting for Duo to continue, but it would have been nice if Heero gave some sort of acknowledgement... some sort of sign that he cared.

Oh, Duo knew that Heero cared for him as he cared for Heero, but there always seemed to be a slight rift between them that made Duo feel as if Heero didn't. Duo never heard Heero say those endearing words, 'I love you,' never recognized any sign of Heero's love for him. But, Duo had known from the beginning of their 'relationship' that Heero wasn't too good at showing his feelings.

Well, actually, that wasn't all true. Heero did do something a month ago that kept the flame in Duo's heart burning. It was a small act - one that entirely took Duo by surprise - but it was significant in its own account.

<*><*><*><*><*><*><*>

It was a cold, quiet afternoon, just about the time when the sun was to sink to rest below the horizon, when Heero, who had just come back in from a mission, asked Duo to follow him for a few moments. Setting down the currently forgotten mission file he was working on, Duo quickly got up and silently followed Heero outside. Something about how Heero asked him made him feel that this was important.

After walking in silence for about 10 minutes, Heero stopped, and Duo found himself in a small clearing, littered with patches of flowers and trees still decorated with golden and crimson leaves.

He cast a questioning glance at Heero, and wondered what Heero meant in bringing him here. Heero wasn't one to take a stroll through nature just for the heck of it.

Surprisingly, Heero took Duo's hand and led him over a tree that was standing slightly higher than the rest on a little hill. Letting go of Duo's hand, Heero asked Duo to sit down, and so Duo did. Once Duo had sat down, Heero sat down as well.

"Shhh..." Heero whispered before Duo could ask an explanation. He pointed to the view ahead of them, directing Duo's eyes to the beautiful sunset that was painting the sky.

Duo watched in amazement as the warm, orange sun slowly sank beneath the horizon, casting a golden radiance on all the trees and flowers. The sky was a landscape of rich hues, gently fading away into night, and small, brilliant stars were beginning to peek through the velvet sky.

So lost in the beauty of the sunset, Duo had not noticed when Heero had moved behind him and brought Duo into his lap, wrapping his arms around Duo's waist. So, when Heero whispered into his ear, Duo nearly yelped out of surprise.

Duo turned his head so that he could see Heero's eyes, and he saw a gentle spark that he had not seen there before. It made Heero's cobalt orbs all the more alluring. So entranced by the look in Heero's eyes, Duo almost didn't catch Heero's words.

"Duo... the sunsets are beautiful from here, and... I wanted to share them with someone special..." Heero said softly, still gazing fondly at the sky as the last ray of sunlight faded away. Silence met his words, and Heero glanced down at Duo, unsure if Duo understood what he meant. He was so bad at expressing himself...

What he saw surprised him, and he quickly bent down to kiss the tears that were rolling down Duo's smooth cheeks. This action only caused more warm tears to fall from the shining amethyst eyes he loved so much.

"Duo?" Heero asked worriedly, afraid he had done something wrong. He could deal with missions and computers perfectly fine, but when it came to love, he was still walking on unstable ground.

Brushing away a few bangs that had fell into Duo's eyes; Heero was met with a dazzling smile that made the stars seem dull. Turning so that he faced Heero completely, Duo, lavender orbs glittering with unshed tears, planted a long, sweet kiss onto Heero's pliant lips.

Pulling away as for need of air, Duo licked his slightly swollen lips and placed his forehead against Heero's.

"Thank you Hee-kun, you don't know how much this means to me," Duo whispered huskily, his heart leaping in joy and in love. Duo couldn't remember another time when he had been this happy... everything was perfect.

Cupping Duo's heart-shaped face in his hands, Heero kissed Duo gently, and then pulled away softly, a foreign warmth staining his cheeks. Duo brought one hand up and wiped away the tears that were silently falling from Heero's shining eyes. This was all too amazing...

"I love you, Heero... and I know that you may not be able to say it back, but I know you love me too," Duo said, every word weighted with the love that he felt for Heero. Heero gave Duo a small smile that was only meant for him, and kissed him again.

"Always, Duo. And I'll always be here to... love you."

"Promise?"

"I promise."

For the rest of the night, they sat there in each other's embrace, watching the stars and wishing that this night could last forever.

<*><*><*><*><*><*><*>

Sighing again, Duo looked at Heero again and felt a lone tear roll down his cheek. Absentmindedly wiping it away, he got up and walked over to where Heero was busily typing away.

Placing his hand on Heero's shoulder, Duo read over the new mission that he and Heero were assigned. It was easy enough; Heero would go into the base and retrieve some files while Duo wreaked havoc outside, driving all the attention toward him so Heero could concentrate on his work.

"No problem, ne Hee-kun? This'll be a piece of cake! Let's go blow those Ozzies sky high!" Duo shouted cheerfully as he headed out the door, braid bouncing along after him.

"Hn." Heero said, closing the laptop and quietly following Duo, shutting the door quietly as he left.

()~()~()~()

"Dammit Heero, where in all hell _are_ you??!!" Duo shouted angrily into his comm., as a mobile suit blew up his rear blaster.

Duo was not a very happy camper at this moment of time.

His gundam was down to sixty percent functional, and there were still legions of Oz forces scaling towards him.

Where was Heero when he needed him?

"Heero, you better get your ass out here, or I'm going to have to come in there and drag it out! Answer me dammit!" Duo once again shouted into his comm., while taking out a squad of Leos with his thermal scythe.

He was just about to call Heero again and thoroughly chew him out, when he saw Wing emerge from the inky darkness, and join in on the fray.

"Could you have come any later??! You sure do know how to make a guy worry, you know? You got the information?" Duo called to Heero, relief bleeding through the anger.

"Hn," Heero responded, grunting slightly as a mobile suit rammed into him.

Duo looked over at the little clock in the corner of control board and grinned slightly.

11:28

"Hey, Heero, let's see if we can make it home before midnight, ne? I have to get my beauty sleep, you know," Duo yelled cheekily, maneuvering agilely between several Tauruses, and taking them down.

After a few moments of heated battle, Heero glanced toward Deathscythe's location, about thirty meters to his left, and to his surprise and terror, saw a blast of ivory light that could only come from an ion cannon, headed straight for Deathscythe.

Calling out to warn Duo, Heero yelled in frustration as he found that Duo's communication systems had failed - and other systems as well. Seeing that Duo was in no shape to get out of the way of the ion blast in time, Heero did the only thing he could do...

()~()~()~()

Duo was a sitting duck, and he knew it. Most of his visual systems were out, his communication system was dead, and his radar system was at nil. Plus, his thermal thrusters were at forty percent power... he was definitely screwed.

Sweat beaded his eyebrow as he tried to get his visuals and thermal thrusters to work again so he could get out of this hellhole. Pounding away at various keys, Duo finally brought up a scratchy peripheral image of his surroundings and was SO not happy with what he saw.

An ion blast. Coming straight at him.

"SHIT SHIT SHIT!!" Duo yelled as he frantically scrambled all his power to the thrusters, praying against all odds that he they would work in time.

It would hurt like hell if that ion beam hit him.

And getting hit by that ion beam was not on his 'To do' list.

"Dammit!" Duo screamed, pounding the control panel when the power decided to shut down...

Duo knew he was going to have one hell of a headache when he woke up - if he woke up that is - and prepared to for impact.

He glanced at the clock that was still working for some odd reason...

11:34

"Sorry Hee -"

Duo was suddenly jerked from his seat as something very large crashed into him, pushing him away from the line of fire.

The last image he saw was a blur of white, and then everything went black.

~*~*~*~*~*~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Who wants to live forever,
Who wants to live forever,
Forever is our today...
Who waits forever, anyway?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Duo was curled into a small ball, rocking back and forth, back and forth among the littered glass shards.

He had woken up in an Oz prison cell, battered and broken and having one hell of a headache. But the injuries didn't matter when he found out what had happened to Heero.

Tears trailed angrily down Duo's cheeks as he could still hear the words of the two officers outside his door…

//This one's lucky to be alive.

Really? Why?

The ion blast was heading straight for him when this other gundam pushed him outta the way... The blast hit the other gundam straight in the cockpit, the cleanup crew said the pilot's body was burnt beyond recognition...\\

Duo hadn't paid attention after he heard those words, he had just sort of shut down.

He couldn't believe that Heero was dead... it wasn't possible.

But after being interrogated and then escaping from the Oz base, did Duo find out it was true.

And now Heero was gone.

Dead.

Duo held back a sob as his eyes fell onto the picture of him and Heero in the clearing. It wasn't supposed to turn out like this... Heero was suppose to always be here with him... forever...

Duo's hand picked up one the shards, and through watery vision, he looked at it.

He couldn't live like this... not without Heero.

He couldn't wait forever.

Taking the piece of glass, Duo quickly slit the wrists, watching the ruby streams slither out and puddle around him.

His eyes returned to the picture, and a small grimace graced Duo's face as he stared at it.

"I'm coming Heero..." Duo whispered at the image and then darkness claimed him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Who wants to live forever?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~OWARI~