9-23-2002 (revised)

Title: It's a Wonderful War

Author: Sony_Mouse (Sony_Mouse@hotmail.com)

Pairings: 1+2+1

Warnings: AU, History (ha ha ha I get to warn you about history, angst, Shounen-Ai, language and insults (which in no way express what I feel for the Japanese, they are purely what a propaganda filled under stress war pilot might think.)

Disclaimer: GW not mine, WW2 is... not mine either, lucky for me History isn't copyrighted. Info about names, places, people and history are taken from James Clavell's Shogun (the BEST book about Japan...ever), Author Golden's Memoirs of A Geisha, David Mak's Kabuki, and from Misa.

Archives: If you or your friend would like to read a fic of MINE, or previous parts to this fic, then for one low low price YOU CAN. Just drop on by at www.gwaddiction.com, where everybody knows your name (well not really). All proceeds go to the "Feed the Rich" foundation :P

Author's TITLE note: In my original version I had complained about all the flames I got about my title, but since then I've never gotten a flame, nor even a mention about it. So I'm not going to rant about it. I love the irony of my title, and we'll just leave it at that. :)

Author's THANKS note: I just want to thank two VERY, VERY nice people, Katu and Misa. They have gone out of their way to not only translate part 2 for me (I'll repost my edited versions of part 1 and 2 when it's done), but Misa has taken the time to explain to me more about the Japanese mentality and a few events. I hope this will make my story a lot more realistic while still interesting. THANK YOU


It's A Wonderful War by Sony_Mouse

Part Three

"You can't say that civilization doesn't advance. For in every war they kill you in a new way.
Will Rogers (1879 - 1935)


"History is written by the hangman" – Anonymous


Looking down at the sleeping figure, Heero truly wondered if he had made a mistake. But all he had to do was look over at that suspiciously innocent looking face and he knew he wasn't going to let the boy die.

Yet the boy deserved to die, he had killed so many women... children... all from his quick air raid. It was a very dishonorable act. But somehow the young pilot lying asleep in front of him seemed to carry no guilt for his actions, only bitterness.

Maybe that was the price to pay when you were forced to fight so young? If anything, Heero could understand that.


Before dawn even began to form, Heero was awake and ready to leave the American prisoner to go have a bath. He knew that the American wasn't going anywhere with that broken leg, and trusted that as long as he remained asleep he was behaving himself.

Walking only a short distance from the camp, he came upon a small body of water lay hidden by the trees. Although it was still war, Heero, and his people, felt adamant about having regular baths. Anything else would just be unhygienic. Good hygiene was not something taken lightly in Japan. He thought about waking the American prisoner, as he could tell the young man hadn't bathed in days, if that. But thought better of it, he would first let the American get some much-needed sleep.

Jumping into the cold water Heero was quickly reminded of his youth in the small village where he had been raised. He had never even heard of a bathtub before joining the military and was surprised when there was no body of water to bathe in at the training base. His fellow soldiers had gotten a good laugh over that one, but it was always that way with the soldiers who came from more isolated villages. It didn't help much that he came from Hokkaido either, or that he was Ainu. He had `pick on me' written all over his face.

As Heero splashed the cold water all over his dirty body, he smirked as he remembered how quickly he had earned their respect. He had been raised a dedicated worker in his village, and impressed the men with his dedication to any mission. Heero was proud to serve his country. And if it meant having to put up with an ignorant, uncivilized, lazy, undedicated American, he would do just that.

He just hoped he survived the experience. Being the only soldier to watch after an enemy had not been part of the program. But was necessary due to the unusual circumstances Heero had found himself in.

Getting out of the water, Heero felt a small chill go though his body as the cold morning air nipped at his damp skin. Quickly drying himself off and getting dressed, he decided to go in search of something he could use as a fishing pole. It was then that he heard a loud wailing noise coming form the direction of the temporary camp.

Springing to his feet, Heero ran off in that direction only to come face to face with the captured pilot singing at the top of his lungs.

"He waaaaaaaaaas a famous trumpet man from out Chicago waaaaaaaay,
He had a boogie style that no one else could plaaaaay
He was the top man at his craft!
But then his number came up and he was gone with the draft.
He's in the army now, blowing reveille!
He's the boogie woogie bugle boy of Company B... "

"Shut up! What do you think you are doing?"

"Oh, there you are, I'd thought you had abandoned me to die, well I had hoped. Anways, I was just singing to pass the time. Nothing like some good ol' American swing in the morning."

"BAKA! Did you think that we might be discovered?"

"Oh, I'm sorry! Silly me, I had thought I'd ALREADY been discovered. I better be careful, the Japs might get me now."

"Just because I'm offering you a chance to live, doesn't mean that if you are discovered by some marching troop, the commanding officer of that troop might not order me to kill you. Then we'd lose the only chance of trading you off for some soldiers."

Duo looked up at the angry man and replied in the most sarcastic laden voice he could manage. "Awwwww, I didn't know you cared."

"Baka, Oh course I care about my men..."

An evil grin quickly spread across Duo's face as realization hit him hard.

"OH! So that's it, you've lost some men to the obviously more powerful and skilled Americans and now you feel guilty about it. So you've decided not to kill me and trade me for them. Well this is an interesting turn of events."

Heero didn't even bother to respond, but the angry look on his face gave the truth away. He started to turn away but was stopped by Duo's mocking tone of voice.

"Don't leave now, I'm just starting to get to know you." Slowly, almost too slowly Hero turned around once more to face his prisoner of war. Clenching his fist, he practically growled out his words in a low whisper.

"I will tell you once and only once. You are MY prisoner, and only because you were stupid enough not to properly crash your plane and kill yourself. That was your first mistake. Your second will be if you don't mind your own business."

As usual the Japanese soldier hadn't minced his words and he hoped that they had finally gotten through to its target. Unfortunately Duo's pride wouldn't let him be so easily beaten. With a defiant glare that rivaled his captors, Duo spat out his next words.

"At least there was only me that was caught! How many people did you lose to the other side?" Without warning, Heero leaped over from the spot where he had been standing and before Duo could even blink in surprise, Heero had cracked his fist against Duo's face. The American pilot was literally thrown back against the plane, slumping to the ground in a dazed form.

Without looking back, Heero quickly ran off into the woods. Wanting to get as far away as he could from the loud mouthed American.

Duo didn't even notice where Heero had run off to, but he didn't care either. He remained lying on the ground trying to come to grips with the new pain that was racking itself over his tired body, and eventually he started to punch his fist into the dirt out of frustration. He was sick and tired of the whole situation. And even if he didn't want to admit it, he was scared.


It took Heero a whole three hours to calm down and feel like returning to the camp, and more importantly, to the American. In truth he felt ashamed at the outburst, he was supposed to be one of the best soldiers Japan had to offer, yet one young inexperience American pilot had made him lose his temper so badly. He had even let slip about his patrol being captured by the Americans while he was in the Philippines. He could only hope that most of his men had been killed; being captured was a fate he didn't even want to think about.

During his time away from the temporary camp, Heero had in fact gone out fishing, he was able to catch lunch and cool down a bit a bit using calming techniques he'd learned as a child. He also hoped to show the American that he was above a silly argument, and that it didn't affect him anymore. That he was in charge of the situation, and no American would ever change that.

As soon as he entered the camp he was surprised to see that Duo had moved from where he normally sat and was now...SUNBATHING????

"Well I see you aren't in any danger." Lifting his head the American glared at the other young man while still holding his arm over his eyes to block out the sun.

"No thanks to you, what if one of those patrols came by that you spoke of? They could've taken me off and killed me."

"No, I already told you, my luck is not that good."

"You bastard, you know you could at least pretend to be human, unlike the rest of your race. Maybe even prevent me from being hurt, instead of inflicting more pain."

"Yes, and I'm sure you Americans would show me the same courtesy if I was captured."

"Well maybe not to you, but to the other prisoners we would."

Starting up the fire again, Heero took out the fish he had managed to catch and laid them out on his makeshift grill. "Do you actually believe those lies?"

"They're not lies. We Americans are much more civilized than you Japs, and we treat our prisoners with at least a bit of human courtesy.

Heero could only roll his eyes at the uninformed opinion of the American. He had personally seen a few men return from those so-called 'civilized' American camps. They were anything but civilized. Heero had to admit that the Japanese camps weren't that much better, but it was war, and at least he was able to admit it, unlike the American who lived in his own little world.

Duo stopped waiting for a reply and sat up across from Heero in silence. Again it bothered him not to be talking, the silence was really getting to him. It was almost like if no one was talking he would have to admit his predicament. Duo would rather be verbally fighting with the enemy soldier than have to compete with the silence.

"So what's the plan for today?"

"Hn." Heero just ignored him and continued to cook the meal.

"Whoa, slow down. There's only so much information I can handle at one time."

Again silence.

"I see, so now that you aren't yelling at me, you've lost your magical gift for words." Passing Duo a plate of fish, Heero looked at him expressionlessly.


Duo sighed dramatically. "Ok listen, you don't like me, I know. Hell, I REALLY don't like you. But if I have to spend the next little while waiting around with you so you can fatten me up for the kill or try to pawn me off, there better be some conversation happening."

Looking at Duo for a few seconds without blinking, Heero calmly answered. "No."

"Ah, HELL! You're gonna make me go crazy. Couldn't we pretend to be friends, or at lest not enemies for one meal? Come on, prove to me that you aren't everything I know you are."

The remark just made Heero's temper start to flare, but he was determined not to lose his temper again.

He wanted to point out that it was the American, who had started 90% of all their arguments, but then he noticed the purplish bruise on the young man's cheek, the very one he had caused. Deciding that one meal couldn't really hurt, and maybe he was also just a little tired of fighting, he agreed reluctantly.


For the first time since Duo had crash-landed, Heero could almost swear he saw the boy smile for a split second.

"So Heero, what's your full name?"


"So I know a bit more about you, it's not like I'm going to tell my superiors."

"I can't tell you." At the saddened expression on the American pilot Heero quickly continued. "My full first name is Hiro-matsu."

"I thought it was Heero?"

"It is! Heero is short for Hiro-matsu."

"Oh, Hiro-matsu... that's an odd name. Do you're names mean anything."

"I come from a very old village, we still go by many old traditions. One is that peasants aren't allowed real names. You are named after what you do. My father is named Nouka-san, because he is a farmer. The children of a peasant are named First-son, Second-son, First- daughter and so on. My name means First-son."

"Wow, you guys have it all figured out. I don't even know what my name means."

"It means `two' in Latin, or a `Pair' in Italian."

"Oh... I guess that makes sense. But wait, if you're named first son, then wouldn't there be a whole village of you guys."

"Yes... but my father's name tells me apart. And a village is not that big."

"Ya know, you've unwittingly give me you're last name. So you're Hee- roh-matt-sue Noh-ka-son!"

"No, I am Nouka Hiro-matsu."

"God, you Japanese really ARE backwards."

Resting his plate on the ground to drink some water, Heero narrowed his eyes at the American.

"If you wish to continue the conversation, you would due well not to insult me for the time being."

"I was just joking. You're names are backwards... so get it?"

"Backwards to you maybe."

"Ok, I'm sorry. Now you just said you're name was Nouka, I thought it was Nouka-son."

"Nouka-SAN, yes. San is like how you would say Mr."

"Oh, ok. So then... I have to know, why don't you have black hair, or brown eyes?"

"I'm Ainu."

"What's that? Is it like a birth defect?" Duo blinked in total confusion, while Heero glared at him once again.

"No, it means I am from Hokkaido,"

"What?" Duo asked again, even more confused.

Looking at the lost American, Heero sighed in frustration.

"Did you even bother to look at a Japanese map before you decided to attack?"

"Well... no... yes... kinda. Small maps thought..."

"The Ainu are the original inhabitants of this country, there were driven to the northern province of Japan, called Hokkaido, by a sect of the ancient Chinese, now Japanese."

"So why the fair eyes and brown hair?"

"The Ainu have lighter hair than the mainland Japanese. It is rare, but Ainu can also be born with light gray, or blue eyes." Heero surprised himself by telling the foreigner all this about himself and his people. But the mere fact that the American was actually willing to learn something about Japan got him going. He couldn't stand to have him being so ignorant all the time. And besides, he was glad the conversation remained on unimportant things like ancient Japanese history.

"Ahhhhhhhhh, so it all comes together. And here's me thinking that you might have some western blood in ya."

Heero looked positively stricken at the idea. He was 100% Japanese and firmly proud of it! He would die gladly for the better of his country, even risk capture, and this American dared accuse him of being some part western.

Standing up quickly, Heero started to clean up without even looking over at Duo. Afraid of what he might do if he did.

"You were mistaken, as usual." Then without another word, he turned away from the surprised young man and stormed off into the night.

Duo could only slump back down to his laying position wondering what he had said that was so wrong. He had really thought they might be able to at least pretend to get along. He cursed Heero for being such a stuck up snobbish conceited Japanese lackey.

If only Heero could be more like him...


"I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones. "
Albert Einstein (1879 – 1955)



Well it was fun revising this so far. Sometimes I get surprised when I read a sentence and I think "what the hell was I thinking?" Or I'll read a sentence and laugh and think "gee…did I actually write that, that was pretty good." All in all I hope the edited versions are turning out better than the original.

The Song Duo was signing is called "Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy", and was a number 1 hit in 1945.

Everything I had Heero say was true, from the names, to the history of Japan :)

Sony_Mouse -- Please send feedback to the author at: Sony_Mouse@hotmail.com