4-25-2001

Title: Bicycle Repair Man
Author: Monty Python (Grahm, John, Eric, Terry, Gilliam, and Moose)
Revisions: Sony_Mouse (Sony_Mouse@hotmail.com)
Editor and resident Hentai: Lady Shinimegami
Pairings: Yui+Yui/Yui+Yui, and also a Yui+Yui/Yui+Yui pairing J (You'll get it when you read it)
Warnings: There were only a few Mooses' harmed in writing of this story. OH well more supper for me…….Damn you know I have been watching to Much Monty when…actually no I was born this way.
Disclaimers: The entire skit, and really most of the jokes belong to Monty Python. Got a problem with that?? SO SUE ME!!!!!!!!!!!

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"Narrator: In a perfectly normal world, where nothing is out of the ordinary, a group of completely normal looking men, women and children caught the 8:30 Python Road city bus, before it took off to it's preordained destination."

Two small boys, in said group, sat down in their favourite back seat, clad only in typical every day green tank tops and spandex shorts, and started gossiping about the latest adventure of their favourite hero. But little did they know, that not only did he really exist, but he was only a few blocks away...

An attractive man with wild brown hair, and deep blue eyes, dressed up in a green tank top and spandex shorts, similar to those worn by the children, waited patiently at the bus stop for his ride. He carried only a newspaper, and a mysterious bag, which was full of even more green tank tops, and spandex shorts.

As soon as the bus pulled up, he calmly entered and looked around for an empty seat, or a nice space to stand. Walking past the many other civilians, who also wore the conventional green tank top and spandex shorts, he finally found a spot and took out his newspaper, "The Daily Grail" to read.

Narrator: "This man is no ordinary man. This is Mr. H G Yui. To all appearances, he looks like any other law-abiding citizen. But Mr. H G Yui has a secret identity. When trouble strikes at any time, at any place, he is ready to become... BICYCLE REPAIR MAN!!!!! "

The bus came to a stop right in from of Brian's Laundromat, with a huge logo that read, "Always Look on the Bright Side of Laundry. Yui and many of the other passengers exited the bus and headed for the infamous Laundromat. Full of anticipation too see their favourite pair of spandex being washed with Wizzo Laundry Detergent; Specially made to keep your spandex TIGHT.

Sitting on the bench, was a normal looking couple, and indeed normal they were, who Mr. H.G Yui was roughly acquainted with. The taller of the two, with his gravity defying bangs, was known as Mr. T.B Yui, and his special "friend", was a Mr. Q.W. Yui. All three men said their hellos as Mr. H.G Yui sat down and took out his paper to read more about the Wizzo Crunchy Frog incident. A shame since he had eaten a whole box of chocolate from said company last night.

 

ELSEWHERE:

 

An innocent civilian was taking his morning bike ride to work, on the usual path. He was wearing a green tank top and a fine pair of black biker shorts, other wise as Spandex. Unfortunately for this Mr. D.M. Yui, he had a long thick chestnut braid, that was a magnet for bike spokes. He never knew what hit him as his bike flew from under him, and he crashed into a fence. His last thoughts were, "If only Bicycle Repairman was here...."

 

Back at the Laundromat:

 

Mr. H.G. Yui was finally starting to make some sense of the whole Wizzo Chocolate incident, when a young girl with short black-purple hair, ran into the Laundromat, yelling about some horrible incident.

Girl (Miss. H.S. Yui): "Hey, there's a bicycle broken, up the road."

Mr. H.G. Yui: "Hmmmmm. This sounds like a job for... Bicycle Repair Man." He then turned away from the crowd and thought to himself. "But how to change without revealing my secret identity?"

Mr. Q.W. Yui: "If only Bicycle Repair Man were here!"

The entire Laundromat agreed with Q.W's statement. But how could they get a hold of him…..? Before they could comment H.G shot out his hand and declared with a firm voice.

MR. H.G. Yui: "Wait, I think I know where I can find him. Look over there!"

The entire room turned to look at where H.G. was pointing.

 

*FLASH!*

 

When they turned back H.G. was gone, but in his place stood a man wearing baggy dark blue overalls and a snazzy hat to match. It was none other then BICYCLE REPAIR MAN!!

Mr. H.S./T.B./Q.W. Yui: "Bicycle Repair Man, but how?"

Before they could get an answer Bicycle Repairman was shuffling out the door carrying his oversized toolbox.

 

DOWN THE ROAD…..

 

Three very similar Yuis, wearing a smashing set of green tank tops and a stretchy material for shorts, they called them spandex, were doing their duty to the country by digging up a hole in the ground for no particular reason. Their important work was interrupted when they saw the most important man in the nation shuffle by. But from the distance they could not quite make out who it was.

The first digger was a young girl with cornflower blond hair, she brought got the attention of the others and pointed to the figure in the distance.

Miss R.P.Yui: "Oh look... is it a Stockbroker?"

The long platinum haired young man quickly followed her exclamation of his own.

Mr. Z.M. Yui: "Is it Tamahome?"

Leaving the young Chinese digger to make his own assumption.

Mr. C.W. Yui: "Is it a Gundam Pilot?"

ALL: "NO! It's Bicycle Repair Man!"

 

AT THE CRIME SCENE

 

As the braided victim of the bicycle incident came to, he looked around him to see a few other Yuis, and none other then THE Bicycle Repair Man!!!

Mr. D.M. Yui: "MY! Bicycle Repair Man! Thank goodness you've come! Look!" He pointed to the remains of his favourite Wizzo Bike. Bicycle Repair Man help up his hand for him to stop, and quickly went to work. Grabbing the bike in one hand, and his tools in the other he went to work.

 

*CLINK!*

 

Taking out his screwdriver he started to operate on the body of the vehicle.

 

*SCREW!*

 

And using his super human strength, he started to twist the bike back to its original position.

 

*BEND*!

 

Taking out a bike pump from his toolbox he picked up the empty tires and started to pump like a mad man.

 

*INFLATE!*

 

The last piece of the puzzle was the warped Saddle, but Bicycle Repair Man was an expert, and knew what he was doing.

 

*ALTER SADDLE!*

 

His friends from the Laundromat had shown up out of nowhere and where now admiring his handiwork.

Mr. T.B. Yui: "Why, he's mending it with his own hands!"

Mr. Q.W Yui: "See how he uses a spanner to tighten that nut!"

Happy that his bike was now once again in one piece, D.M ran up to the mystery man and flung his arms around his neck.

Mr. D.M Yui: "Oh, Oh Bicycle Repair Man, how can I ever repay you?"

Bicycle Repair Man: "Oh, you don't need to. It's all in a days work for... Bicycle Repair Man!"

Looking like he had met his god, D.M pulled Bicycle Repair Man's head in close and gave him a good long hard kiss.

Bicycle Repair Man: "On second thought, let's go to my place." As the two very aroused Yuis made their way to Bicycle Repair Man's apartment, the remaining two sighed in awe.

Mr. T.B./Q.W. Yui: "Our Hero!"

Narrator: "Yes! Whenever bicycles are broken, or menaced by international communism, Bicycle Repair Man is ready!"

 

OWARI

 

(Comments:

Lady Shinimegami: IT CAN BE TAKEN IN SO MANY WAYS!!!!!!!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sony_Mouse: *Drools*

Lady Shinimegami: *Hits Sony_Mouse with a frying pan* WAKE UP AND TALK TO YOUR FANS!!! *Starts thinking about what Sony_Mouse just was*

Sony_Mouse: Ungrateful gumby, I take you in and this is what happens. Anyways Please everyone send LOTS of comments to me sony_mouse@hotmail.com

BTW that was a REAL conversation I just had with my friend. How sad is that lol

Lady Shinimegami: HENTAI!! HENTAI!!!!!!

Sony_Mouse: And……….is that a bad thing *thinks of what Bicycle Repairman is trying to screw right now…………*