4-14-2006

Stars
by SkyLark
Pairings: 1+2
Warnings: POV, angst, fluff

 

The stars have been my friends for as far back as I can remember.

Ever since my days of living off the streets on L2, I would find a secluded spot where I could just lie on my back as I looked up to the millions of tiny lights shining through the darkness. No one ever taught me the tradition of wishing on stars… it was something that I just did for something to do. I'd wish on every damn spot that I could see until I finally fell asleep.

What does one wish for when they're just trying to get by on what little they had? I suppose nothing that would surprise you. I'd wish for a warm place that I could live in. I wished for a family that I could call my own, much like the one that Solo and the other kids that I had lost during the plague. I wished for enough food to fill my belly that it wouldn't pain me as it did at the end of the day.

Imagine my shock when those wishes came true.

My times at the Maxwell Church were some the best times of my life. I had a family once again with Father Maxwell, Sister Helen and the other kids like me. So when those wishes came true, my requests to the stars changed. I wished that I would be important some day. I wished that somehow, I'd be more than just another nameless kid that had been left to fend for himself the way that Solo and the others were when they died.

Oh, I became somebody not long after that, all right. As Sister Helen died in my arms with the remains of the church burning around us, I cursed myself and ever one of those damned wishes that I made.

It was years before I so much as looked at the stars. While I knew that it was silly to think that my mere wishing on a few specks burning miles away was the reason for the terrible things that happened to me, it was easier to put the blame on something other than myself and my own choices.

Professor G's taking me in helped me put all of my anger and frustration to use. 'The God of Death' rang a particular bell for me and I used that persona to get through the crazy shit that I had to endure in preparation for what lay ahead.

Not long after I reached the Earth, I met the person that would rekindle my old habit of star wishing. Those deep blue eyes of one Heero Yuy that looked up at me through long, chocolate bangs after I shot him damn near took my breath away. Considering the circumstances, I was scared over my reaction, though I managed to cover it well.

After rescuing Mister Glare from the hospital, and after nearly losing my lunch at seeing him set his own broken leg later, I couldn't deny the fact that I had a profound… something for the guy. I convinced myself that I was only drawn to him because of the fact that he was someone my age who was the only other person that I could really relate to. And yet, he took every opportunity to blow me off when I tried to make friends with him.

Nights later, after he had bailed the hell out with pieces of my own Gundam, I found myself looking up to the moon and stars for the first time in years. Forgetting myself, I made a wish on the first star that stood out. I wished that wherever that asshole was, I'd get to see him again so I could kick the living shit out of him.

Well, part of that wish came true at least. The ass kicking I just couldn't carry out.

Time passed and with a few shared missions, Heero was just growing on me more and more. There were even times when my nonstop efforts to loosen the guy up seemed to work as he would talk to me in more than grunts and single-word responses. Whether that was because he was starting to like me or because he was just tired of telling me to shut up I wasn't sure, but I was grateful for it.

A few missions under our belts later and the guy was actually requesting that I be the pilot to work with him when the task was too big for one of us. Our downtime at those times became less and less uncomfortable and a real friendship was starting to build.

Getting back into the habit of wishing on stars, I wished that if I couldn't have what I finally admitted I wanted with Heero, that I would be able to let him and my feelings go. It was just becoming too difficult to see him every day with my desire for him only growing every day. Being in a war, you never thought of what would happen tomorrow, only what was happening in the then and now.

Then the son of a bitch went and tried to take out a huge chunk of falling ship from crashing into the Earth.

When we ran he arrive on my front porch two months later, I decked him and yelled at him for being so fucking reckless. I stopped my rant as soon as the realization that he actually came to see me, at my place. The bruise on his right cheek was already starting to shade in a nice dark hue as he simply smirked at me. I almost moved to hit him again for actually smiling when he grabbed the front of my shirt and pulled me to him to kiss the daylights out of me.

Another battle later and two more years later, here I am lying in the back yard of the house that Heero and I share in the mountains. It might be pretty childish for someone my age to still be wishing on stars, but they're not for myself anymore. I already have everything that I could have ever hoped for. Now, I wish for those that we gave up so much for, they they'll be able to find the happiness that I've somehow managed to find.

Behind me, I hear footsteps approaching through the tall grass before Heero settles comfortably beside me. Turning my face towards my lover, I smile warmly before looking back up to the millions of friends I've made over the years.

After a companionable silence, I turn my head back to face him once more and quietly, "Have you ever wished on a star before, Heero?" It's an image that I just can't imagine, but I can't help but ask.

Slowly turning his head so that I can drown in his ocean blue eyes, he nods, "I did. On a couple occasions." He chuckled deeply as I feel my own eyes widening and mouth falling open. Well, if I was standing, he could have knocked me over with a feather with that one.

He slowly reached to intertwine our fingers between us and says quietly, "After we became friends, whenever we were apart, I would wish that you were safe wherever you were." His hand squeezes mine and he whispers, "And that we'd be together again."

As I can feel the tears building in my eyes, he leans over and kisses me with a gentle brush of his lips before making love to me as I whisper a thank you to my millions of friends shining down on us.

 

 

END