Author's Notes: Hey, everyone I did this challenge on this phrase, 'Could
someone show me your boobs? Like this? Not you, I said somebody!'
Ummm...Total craziness. I haven't edited it, spell-checked it (I'm lazy as
hell) so it sux. :) This is what you get when you stay up *way* too late,
thinking on a challenge like so. It's pretty crummy, but hey, I generally
post what I write. :)


A Screwy Party

It was one rainy, rainy, dreary day. Consequentially, one Duo Maxwell, pilot of gundam Deathscythe Hell, became bored. Now, there is one thing you must know about this Duo Maxwell to survive. You. Do. Not. Want Him. To. Get. Bored. Right at this very moment, you see, he was planning some immensely complicated work of mischief, with one Heero Yuy as the centerpiece of it all. Heero Yuy was his fellow gundam pilot, pilot of the gundam Wing Zero. Now, he was one scary sonuvabitch. In fact, he scared everybody who ever met him---it wasn't that he was ugly or anything, (in fact, he was quite lovely) it was just that he was mean. Mean as hell. Someone had probably dropped him too many times when he was a baby. Probably. It was actually most likely that he was just one mean sonuvabitch. But, unbeknownst to all that met him, he was really hurting inside. Really. Because, you see, after you kill, oh, about 2 or 3 thousand people, you start to get a little depressed. And our Heero was quite depressed. This is all unbeknownst to Duo, who if he had known, would probably have run up and given Yuy a big hug...if not for fear he would shoot him. But why would our Duo give the ever-kawaii-scary-bishonen Heero a hug? Because Duo loved him. And that was why Duo chose to constantly bother him, which brings us back to our present suituation. Duo was planning something. Something terrible. And the other 3 pilots just knew it. They aren't very important, so I'm just going to tell you their names, Wufei Chang, aka Justice boy aka Wu-kitty, Quarte Raberba Winner aka Bleeding Heart aka Rabbit Wiener, and Trowa Barton, aka Hot tots. No one knew why he was called 'Hot tots', and no one asked. Back to Duo. He began homing in on what bothered Heero, our suicidal hero. He crossed off minor things like, 'Getting tied to a tree for a few hours' and 'Locking in tight-quartered closet with Quarte's sisters' ...No, he needed something really, really, good. And then it hit him. The most wonderful idea he'd ever had. He actually knelt on the floor and began to pray to God, thanking Him for what must've been His divine assistance. You see, Duo Maxwell liked parties. And he knew of one chick who would come running once she heard Heero would be coming. And he also knew Heero hated her. Hated her guts so badly, his hands shook for need of a gun when she came 'round. All he had to do was get the two of them together, with half-a-dozen other girls, (probably Quarte's sisters) the rest of our little posse, and the posse's 'girl-friends', and Heero would be annoyed successfully for oh, about....a few weeks on end. Duo really hated to screw Heero up like that, but he needed to have fun a little. Besides, that was the only way Heero would pay attention to him. He twitched, and set off running for the nearest Party City. The 4 remaining pilots also twitched, but mostly out of fear.


At the Party

Duo had decided, after all, to only invite insiders to the gundam grouppe. The pilots and their girl-friends were all sitting at a table, trying to decide what to do. Hilde and Catherine suggested dancing, but everyone booed them out except Relena. Then Duo asked about a drinking game...Everyone agreed warily, for a few jelly doughnuts were still stuck to the ceiling from last time. Wufei was the only voice of dissent. He cried out about injustice and reminded Maxwell about how he had agreed not to play any more drinking games until the last jelly doughnut came off the ceiling. Maxwell promptly replied that how could it fall off with all the superglue on it, and what was that about justice? Wufei muttered angriliy and resolved to hot-glue it next time. The girl-friends got up and went to the fridge, rummaging around for booze. They returned with armloads of it, and asked Duo what game was it that he wanted to play. He told them it was a surprise, and then gulped a shot of whiskey down. This game, he yelled, is called Gundam Grophe! The other 4 pilots looked grimly at eachother. Only one would survive to make it to the window...As one, they all ran towards it. It was locked. From the outside. It was also hot-glued, and the hot-glue gun itself was bent around the lock. Damn you Maxwell! Wufei yelled, angry beyond words. He and that hot-glue gun were really getting it on...Heero tried to smash the glass and found out too late it was rubber. He went flying out back into the living room, coincedentally into Duo's lap. Duo and Heero both blushed, simultaneously, while Relena screeched and Hilde cried. Catherine and Sally just Lmaoed. Finally, after a lot of shouting, everyone was seated around the table again. Duo began anew. The game is called Gundam Grophe. The object of the game is to grophe someone...Anou...First, you drink a shot of whiskey. Then you grophe. Simple, ne? He asked, happily. Relena nodded like a lapdog, wildly enthusiastic. Quarte and Trowa blushed and giggled.

Everyone else rolled their eyes. Finally, Wufei's voice piped up, Does what you grophe...have to be human? Duo got very red, and answered after a few seconds, Yes, yes it does, Wu-kitty. Then, the game began. The girls took a shot first, and Dorothy conked out right away. Quarte grinned. Relena began running her hand up and down Heero's leg. Hilde was slobbering, and Sally was holding a sobbing Wufei, who was holding a mangled hot-glue gun. The game went on. Heero tried to commit suicide. Duo gagged. Trowa and Quarte were gone, happily screwing like rabbits in another room. The three boys took a shot...Duo got very, very drunk. Lez danse everbodie les dase! He yelled. Hilde said Noooooo....I dance! LETS DANCE! And so they did.

They all danced, Heero with Relena and Catherine, Duo with Wufei and Sally, Hilde with...with....a knocked out Dorothy. Exatly five minutes, later, Hilde collapsed. Duo ran over to turn on the music...Unfortunately, everyone thought he meant to play Simon Says. So when the mucis came on, oh gods how unfortunately, it was a song mothers despised....It was 'The Boob Song'. The music blared:


A befuddled Relena asked Like this? Everyone except Dorothy, who miraculously awakened, fell over in a dead faint. Even the music stopped. The music started again.

NOT YOU, YOU ----bleep----ER
NOT YOU, YOU ----bleep----ER
NOT YOU, YOU ----bleep----ER
NOT YOU, YOU ----bleep----ER
NOT YOU, YOU ----bleep----ER

As the songs chorus faded out, Dorothy and Relena looked at eachother. Again. Again. And again. Finally, Relena grabbed Dorothy and hustled outta there, intent on finding a Duo and the others got up.

Duo happened to be half-undressed. I'm not going to say which half. But he and Heero looked at eachother. Again. Again. And again. Finally, by mutual agreement, Heero swung Duo over his shoulder and practically ran out of the room. Wufei was left with a bunch of passed out women. Not a good idea. A very stupid idea. He giggled, hiccoughed, then giggled and pulled out a black marker. He began to draw...Meanwhile, after certain...evbents, Duo and Heero were both awake, talking. Kind of. Heero, Duo began, I think I should move in with you. We could---MEEP! He was suddenly cut off. Heero growled There is a time for everything, but not right_now_! And so everyone lived happily ever after and screwed like rabbits.

The End...?


Author's Notes 2: ::dodges flying vegetables:: Eeek! I might do a continuation, but I *still* have to do my Heero Psycho Dreamer sequel and my poem fic and my other chapter fics.....