8-6-2001

Title: Practice Makes Perfect
Author: Sayuyuki - sayuyuki@hotmail.com
Part 3/?
Disclaimers: None owns gundam wing except fta rich people who don't put the g-boys to proper use!
Warnings: Lots, and lots, and LOTS of language. I mean, I just took the f-word and put it ALL OVER the place. Really. Shonen ai, heavy angst, u know.
Author's Notes: Yuck. I really hate this part. It's got so much cursing...I did put in the flashback thing tho. I'm not sure if I'll put in more of those or not. Jeez, some happy memories are in order!

 

"Reservations? For three, of course."

---------------
*Duo*

I hang up the phone, snickering a bit at Adam's weird sense of humor. Shit, he was the only waiter-dude I'd ever met who even knows how to laugh.

I stroll back into my posh living room, courtesy of all the money I'd made, and meet Relena and Heero's respective stares.

"It's done," I announce softly, yet I was seething inside. How dare he come back?"

Relena smiled and clapped her hands together. "Oh good, finally I get to meet the famous Malachai!"

Inwardly I snort. Why didn't she just use all her power and influence to meet with 'Malachai'? Whatever. Not my damn problem.

"Duo." Heero's sexy voice pulls me out of my reverie.

"What?" I snap irritatedly. Why did he always have to do that? Goddamn, he wasn't supposed to have come back...

Heero didn't answer. Damn, he was so annoying. "He probably wanted to ask where the bathroom was." Relena said helpfully.

I almost smirk. Oh, no, can't do that, Maxwell, nope, that'd be bad. Then she'd ask why and that would get messy. No, I didn't want to remember. Not at all.

"Ah. Well, the guest bath is down the hall on the right, you might want to ready yourselves before we go?" I inquire like any well-bred gentleman.

Ha, damn, and that was the funniest yet. If you count well-bred as having Mommy the happy whore and Daddy the wonderful paying customer as 'well-bred' parents, then, yeah...I just happened to be an unfortunate 'side effect.'

I show them both to the bathroom, then escape to my bedroom. GodDAMN. This was not going well.

I chide myself. Dammit, Maxwell-boy, Heero's only here to protect Relena. It's not like he wants you back or anything. Fuck, I don't know if I'd want him back, even if he did go down on bended...knees. I always was a sucker for a pretty piece of ass.

I leer, then it fades away. No matter how much money you spend on training, or even how much time you spend practicing, you can never take the street outta the rat.

Yeah. I'd always just be a fucking filthy street rat from L2, maybe dressed a bit better, that's all.

My bed provides a wonderful distraction. All black satin sheets, so nice and soft to touch...

Like him. Oh god, please don't go there, Maxwell. Please. I don't wanna remember, don't wanna even think about how he left. How he abandoned me for...Fuck, too late.

 

---------------
*Flashback*

"Heero, wha-? What's going on, koi?" I ask, so cheerful and happy. God, I'd kill to be that way again...

"Packing." He grunts, and I roll my eyes in exasperation. That was like, so obvious.

"Hee~ro!" I half-yell, and he looks me, finally. There's something wrong with his eyes, his beautiful cobalt eyes.

I'm shocked to silence. His eyes are so gone, so worn, so dull. Like a man without a soul...

I take a step toward him, after all, he is my lover, my koi, my beautiful Heero.

He's still looking at me like that, god why won't he stop? "Heero?" I tentatively reach out to touch his shoulder.

He's shaking with supressed emotion. What could do this to him? He cruelly answers my unspoken question a second later.

"I'm leaving." He's so cold, so cold...why?

"What?" That's my intelligent answer. A one syllable word, muttered through a haze of shock and doubt.

"I have to go to Relena." He answers indifferently.

"But...Heero, I thought..." I trail off in confusion. This was so wrong! What was happening?!

"You thought what? You thought you mattered to me? You?! You're nothing, Duo. You were a good lay, but I bet I could find any street whore less demanding." He said, his back to me. To us. He's leaving?

"Heero?" I say, again. This hurts. Oh god it hurts. It wasn't supposed to be like this, we were supposed to love eachother and live happily ever after together forever and ever...

"Duo. I won't tell you to leave. I'm doing that already. Relena needs me. She asked me to come to her. So move on and forget about me, because I sure as hell won't remember you. You're nothing Duo, fucking worthless, just a fucking pretty play toy!" He screams out at me. He's walking towards me, will he hit me? Will he rip me apart like he's already done my insides?

I'm leaning against the wall. It's so solid, so comforting. The wall will hold me up, away from Heero's hurtful words. He can't mean it...He really can't mean it. No...Yes. My love for him - did he know? won't let me let it go like this, not like this, no...

"Heero-" I start desperately, and my voice is high-pitched and funny sounding. I would've giggled if I'd had enough air. Really.

"Heero, I love you!" I burst out, expecting him to stop methodically packing, to stop...Maybe? To tell me it was all a lie, a cruel joke, something? That he loved me too?

He kept packing. He was almost done, a small part of my brain noted. Almost done.

"Heero, don't you care? About us? About me?" I say again, hoping to god for a miracle, oh god I need a miracle so bad please god I never meant to be such a bad boy, really. Please? Please god? I love him so much it hurts inside I think something's breaking please oh god please...

But god doesn't exist, right? Only the god of death, Shinigami - me. It's so fucking symbolic it makes me want to scream. I'm the only thing I believe in - Death, me, one and the same, since when did I need Heero? Since always I thought, heart beating erratically. Since always.

"Duo. I told you to go fucking get a life. There is no us. Never fucking will be. I'm a trained gundam pilot...You're just a whore."

That was it. That was the last fucking straw, I swear to god I'm gonna kill him. After, Shinigami kills all those he loves, why should it be any different now?

My pride can't take any more, my damn fucking pride. Fuck the concept of love and a perfect relationship. My life was fucking going to pieces, and I was gonna take him with me for causing it all.

I launched myself at him, screaming incoherently, but the perfect soldier is trained for all occasions.

He catches me lightly like I weigh nothing at all, and for a moment I feel like I'm safe in his arms once again, so safe...

The moment passes as he absorbs my momentum and hurls me with all his strength toward the opposite wall...Damn, he is strong.

I crash into it, promising myself I will not black out, I will see this throught to the bitter fucking end, I will...

But it hurts, it just hurts so much I can't stay awake when the dark is so comforting...

When I wake up he's gone. No nothing, not even a damn note. Bastard.

It took me over half a year to get over him, and one time I particularly remember when I went on a rampage and smashed all the mirrors in the house.

Couldn't bear to look at myself anymore, couldn't bear to look at what I'd become, the whore Heero had said I was.

But I did get over him. He was gone, a thing of the past, something to be mourned like the childhood I'd never had, but not really something you think about often.

I got along, wrote books, magnificent books, resplendent in their glamour of pain for him, it was the pain that made me write.

I wrote about anything, everything, telling about how it felt like something was missing every day, how it felt like I was being slowly ripped apart from the inside out.

I wrote about the war, how it got him and I together, how the mutilated bodies of soldiers chased me through me sleep, and in the end your eyes stared accusingly at me, /Whore...whore...whore.../

But now that all changed. You came back.

---------------
*End Flashback*

 

"Fuck." I growl tiredly, running a hand through my long bangs, they have grown awfully long. I hadn't taken the time to care for them, hadn't really given a damn, ever since he left...

"There's no time to think about shit like that, Maxwell-O. Relena and Heero-darling are waiting, and I have yet to get dressed." I mutter to myself quietly, rolling off the bed at the same time.

The wardrobe looks invitingly at me, so I strut over to it. Whore Maxwell can't refuse an invitation, can he?

Ah, but that's wrong. Maxwell is now just Maxwell, not Whore Maxwell. Maxwell's turned over a new leaf, he's an acceptable gentleman in every sense of the word, an accomplised bachelor any woman would want to net.

I laugh quietly. Yes, gentleman indeed...

I grab the first suit that catches my eye from out from the huge antique walnut wardrobe and throw it on carelessly.

It's black, of course, what other color would I wear?, and it accentuates my slim figure perfectly.

Too slim. I sigh. It's so hard to keep up with these things, I mean, I always intend to eat three meals a day, but I've got a living to earn, right?

I laugh at my white lie. I could live happily on the money I've earned for the rest of my life - I am very successful.

I put on the maroon tie with a practiced motion, slipping it around my neck like a noose. Ugh. Always have hated ties.

That done, I run a hairbrush thorugh my unbound hair, which I don't even remember taking down, and braid it loosely. There. Enter Duo Maxwell, successful author, perfect GENTLEMAN, wonderfully happy guy.

Yeah. Right.

I take a deep breath and proceed to the living room, where Relena and Heero are impatiently waiting.

Damn.

"The limo's waiting," I exclaim happily, and hold my arm out to Relena with a beautific smile.

I ignore Heero. My recent remembrances of him weren't that fond.

I lead Relena out of the apartment, my step light and my eyes all sparkly.

Damn, that is a good trick.

Heero follows, like a specter of Death.

I laugh at that one, laugh out loud, and my laughter is joyous and pealing, beautiful and airy.

It took years to get it to sound that natural.

 

Author's Notes: Sorry, I know, but I have the worst habit of ending things at the stupidest places...C&C completely DROOLED over. ;)