8-19-2001

Title: Alone, Not Together
Author: Sayuyuki - sayuyuki@hotmail.com
Part: 6/?
Disclaimers: ::sing-songy voice:: It's not miiiine....
Warnings: Shonen ai, language, after-war thing, uh...Oh yeah! OOCness abounds!
Author's Notes: Please, do NOT kill me. I think this is the worst one of all...There's not much to it, and there are a lot of mistakes, I have to re-read this thing to get 'em all...If someone would like to help me edit it and all, or you know...I mean, help would be appreciated. Just e-mail me. ....Err...yes, it's an awful title, i know, but it's better than 'untitled'.

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*Heero*

I hadn't really believed Duo about being Ruari until he'd begun reciting a new piece, something I hadn't read before. I guess no one ever really believes him, though...

It really was a surprise to me about what Relena had planned, though. Hah. She was trying to give me a chance with Duo, without her there, of course.

I appreciated the effort.

Her excuse was just about the saddest thing I'd ever heard, though. Yeah. A lot of diplomatic work, that suddenly came up. Uh-huh. Not to mention the fact she got really red in the face and all. And yeah. I'd need to be with Duo, to help defend him from those evil psycho people out there...

He didn't believe her, but that didn't matter, really, because whatever Relena says, goes. You know, because she's got that whole 'Queen of the World' thing going on.

As soon as we had finished eating, Relena had gotten up, and Duo had his limousine drive her over to the spaceport.

Which left me and him walking back to his apartment. Alone. Together, but not really. He was very careful to put enough distance between us.

"What's got you so bummed, Heero? Miss your girlfriend already?" Duo's cheerful, lilting voice interrupted my various thoughts.

I scowled at him. "She's not my girlfriend. I'm just her bodyguard. She's my employer."

He quirked a brow, then winked lasciviously at me. "So that's how you like to do it these days."

Striking a thoughtful pose, he then said with a little whine in his voice, "But I thought you liked to play whore and perfect soldier, Hee-chan!"

I stiffened in shock, then whirled around to face him. He was hanging a little behind, coat slung over one shoulder, tie loosened so much it looked like it was about to fall off.

In other words, he looked dead sexy.

I walked back to where he was, footfalls soft. He was looking at me curiously, about to say something before I cut him off.

I placed my hands gently on his shoulders, willing him to turn his chin up and look me in the eye. He didn't disappoint me.

"Duo, you were never a whore." I said to him as earnestly as I could. "Never. No matter what anyone-"

"You." He said voice flat, still looking up at me. "Not anyone. You."

I sighed, then whispered quietly, "Yes. Me. I was wrong, Duo. I want you to know that, and that I-"

He wasn't listening anyone. "I've got you figured out now, Yui! Totally figured out! I've got it now..." He muttered exultantly to himself.

"This is some damn guilt trip, isn't it?" He burst out accusingly.

He pressed on, not waiting for an answer from me. "I know it is. Yui, just fucking give it up, alright? I fucking forgive you, ok? I forgive you for making the last three years of my life a living hell. I forgive you for hurting me more than I thought humanly possible. It's over with, ok? You can leave now, your missions's over. I've forgiven you, it's all ok."

"Duo, that's not what I came here for!" I yelled, losing my temper momentarily, hands tightening on his shoulders a bit. But then, what he did next made me forget all about what I was going to say.

He cringed. He fucking cringed from me. His ex-lover. The person I cared about most in the world was fucking afraid of me.

"Duo..." I whispered, loosening my grip, ashamed of myself.

He was holding his head down, studiously looking at the ground.

"Don't give yourself any airs, Yui. You're not that strong. But I know that if you hit me I'm gonna hit back and I'm not sure if I want to do that. Now. Ever. You still mean something to me, even if it's just an unpleasant reminder of the past." He told me, bringing his head up to gaze at me, amethyst eyes burning with a new light, something feral and wild.

He began walking again, turning his back on me.

"Duo, we need to talk. There's...things I need to tell you! I still care about you, Duo!" I burst out desperately.

He stopped so suddenly I thought he might fall over. And then he did something I least expected. He laughed. He laughed at me.

"Heero...Oh my god, Heero...That must be one of the funniest things I've ever heard. You still care?! Then why did you leave me? I cared for you then. Hell, I loved you! But you know what you did with that love, Heero?! You took my heart and fucking ripped it apart, I couldn't live without you!" He screamed hoarsely, voice bouncing and echoing off buildings at this late hour.

"I gave you my heart, Heero. You didn't want it." He said, more softly.

"That's not true, Duo, I-" I began haltingly, but he cut me off. Again.

"Oh? Really? But I thought that there was no us. I thought that I was a whore. I thought you were a...what was it? Oh. Yes. A 'trained gundam pilot'. So, tell me, Heero, what is it you want? Do you want us to get back together again? Do you want us to be all lovey-dovey and have everything to be so fucking perfect? Well it can't, Heero. You hurt me bad, and even if I forgive you for it that doesn't mean I want to see you around here, much less get back together with you."

He's angry...So bitter...I'd done it all, caused it all in a moment of insecurity. I'd been torn...Stay with the one I love, or go back to the mission, Relena? The mission won out, in the end. Somehow, it always does. But not anymore. No. Not anymore.

"Duo...Please, let's get back to your apartment, at least, please..." I beseech him pleadingly. This arguing tires me, and I want to talk to him when we're both able to be comfortable.

He gapes at me, I must not've ever used that word with him. Oh, koi, I'd done it all wrong, everything went wrong our first time, please let me make it up to you...

"Fine, Heero. Fine. Whatever you want, ok?" He finishes tiredly, running a hand through his uneven bangs, in his trademark gesture of frustration.

We resumed walking, and nothing more was said. The silence was oppressive, eventually it got to me. I sneaked constant glances at him, but he appeared perfectly happy with the arrangement.

"You see, that's your problem Heero." He began, and I looked over at him sidelong, curious.

"You have problems with the quiet now. You've changed, Heero. You're no longer the perfect soldier. Whereas, me.." He shrugged his shoulders delicately.

"I have no problem with this empty silence because I live with it every day, in and out...It gets very quiet at night, you know, it's not like L2. Very respectable, very clean. Quiet. That's probably why you didn't find me sooner, eh?" He added as an afterthought.

I shifted uncomfortably. That actually was the reason I hadn't found him...I thought he'd be back on L2, living with Hilde in some poor place or something...I never expected he'd be so rich...I mean, he had never been comfortable in wealthy situations before...

"That's ok, Heero, like I said, I forgive you." He continued, as if he could read my thoughts. And maybe he could.

We neared his apartment complex, and the both of us just breezed in, the guards recognized him and everything.

We got on the elevator, and a tinny version of Fur Elise began playing. Duo slumped against the far wall, and I stood ready, waiting for the doors to open.

When they did, he straightened out, and walked slowly down to the end of the hall, fishing in his pants pockets for his keycard.

It took almost over a minute, he had a lot of junk in there. Typical.

As soon as it was open, I heard a distinctly feminine squeal, and a flying projectile came out of Duo's apartment and landed on his chest, throwing him back a good three feet.

"Duo! You're back! I missed you sooo much!" A girl, about 16 or 17 said as she glomped him. I gritted my teeth. I would not shoot. I would not shoot. I would not shoot.

"Iris! Why are you doing here?" Duo asked, obviously bewildered. She was sitting on top of his chest, and he didn't seem to mind...

"They told me to come. They said you had a friend, too. Where is he?" She asked, curiously, finally getting up off of him.

"If you hadn't tackled me, you would've seen him!" Duo exclaimed with a genuine laugh. "This is Heero." He explained, straightening his expensive suit, and waving a hand in my general direction.

"I know." She said solemnly. "They told me."

She walked over to me, and I stopped to take her in.

Damn, I was in for some competition here. She was beautiful, nothing short of. Her skin practically glowed, it was so white. Her hair was also perfectly white, like milk, and it was full and thick, it fell down her back in a pale cascade of silk. Her eyes were a very light shade of purple, almost grey, and I had to pause to take a breath. Beautiful.

She stopped right in front of me, regarding me, and then she finally announced, "It's ok. You can come in too."

I clenched my fists, and then asked Duo, "Who?"

He smiled, but didn't say anything. If they were involved...

I walked in, and Duo shut the door behind me. Iris was situated on one of the leather couches, stretched out.

"Duo," She said, "I don't like this couch. You can sleep with me on the bed."

I choked.

 

Author's Notes: ::grin:: Sooo evil rn't I? ::yawn:: Well I'm *tired*! I can't help it...If there are outstanding grammar/spelling errors (i know i didn't get all of u buggers....-_-) just try to imagine what it's supposed to be...>_< Blah...Tired...I *really* need some sleep, BAD. -_- .....z_z