Halloo all! So how's it hangin' dogs? What it is job turkey!
Azn: *smack* Stupid!
Sari: What did I do?
Azn: You're supposed to be introducing your fic.
Sari: Yeah. And?
Azn: *holds head in hands* Kami-sama, I need aspirin.
Sari: Well this is my first and, so far only ficcy. It's corny, I know. But it gets better some where along the plot. Um...read it....comment it....flame it.... f@&$ it... Wait a minute!
Azn: You...are a hentai.
Sari: Thankies! M'kay, uh, be gentle with the comments and remember I take full responsibility for anyone who is tainted by this fic. This part especially. Oh wait a minute. I don't have to! Why? Because I'm Shinigami! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!!
Author: Sari (Hasn't my name been mentioned enough)
Rating: Um...This part is prolly PG-13 for the hinting of something that didn't really happen. The rest should be this way too. (The rating not the hinting. :p)
Pairings: Strangely implied 1x2, 3+4(later on), 5+box 'o' tissues(believe me, he'll need it), and R+pink.
Archived: I'm not popular enough for that! But could somebody please! *watery chibi eyes* Onegai!
Category: Humor, Shounen ai
Warnings: This is complete and utter crap! Feel free to laugh your ass off.
Disclamer: This is hinted yaoi and shonen ai stuff, so um... like if u don't know what that is like go find out. I own absolutley nothing and the people who do won't answer my e-mails. If anyone wants to sue me, go ahead! I'm a 12 year old kid with a hentai mind, who has a current balance of -$3000! You'll be gettin' nutin'! Comment me! Critizise me! Flame me! Title me! (I really do need a title and none of my friends are helping) And e-mailme at firstname.lastname@example.org 'k?
Heard It All Before 1
On the day of a 'very important' mission, Trowa, Quatre, and Wufei were walking down one of the various hallways of one of the many Winner estates towards the room that Heero and Duo shared, to inform them of the said mission, when strange very naughty noises could be heard. (Sari: Do sentences get any longer than that? Azn: Nope.)
"What the hell are Maxwell and Yuy doing in there?!", shouted Wufei, annoyed at having his time wasted. Various pings, thumps, and crashes could be heard form the two boys and kisama's direction. As they neared 01 and 02's room distinct shouts could be made out.
"I got ya!"
"Come back here!"
"How does it feel?!?!"
"How much do you want it Heero?!?!?!"
By the 'Ahhhhhhh!' Wufei was out cold lying face down in a puddle of blood and Quatre was as red as a tomato. Trowa impassive as always calmly said, "I knew they were likley going to admit their feelings and get together, but I didn't know they were to 'C' yet." (Sari: Private to some, the next philosophy topic to others.*sweatdrop*)
Quatre sweatdropped. "Anou... We can't interrupt, but the mission can't wait." Quatre contmeplated his optinons-the ones where he stays alive, of course. "Guess we'll have to knock." Quatre walked up to the door and knocked loudly.
"Yes, yes, yes!!", someone shouted from inside. Most of the excess noise died down and shuffling could be heard. A fully clothed (Sari: Damn!), frowning Heero opened the door.
"What do you want?", Heero growled. Quatre 'eeped' and paled. A pissed off Heero is your death warrant "Anou.... We d-didn't m-mean to intt-teruppt anything, butwehaveavitallyimportantmission!", Quatre stammered.
"Nani?! Already?!", Duo questioned as he walked towards the doorway, "Me and Hee-chan were gonna have a re-match." Quatre became dizzy. There were two Trowa's-or were there three? " A-a r-re-match?" Quatre turned the red of a white man who stayed out in the sun way, way too long, and fainted. The only wierd thing was that there was no 'thump' symbolizing a body hitting the ground. Instead there was Quatre being held in the arms of Trowa.
Trowa glared. Heero nodded. He wasn't going to go against Trowa's wishes. Duo stood there, very confused. 'Hm. Must be their special way of communicating.' Being that it was far too silent, Duo decided to break the peace-er- silence. "Oi, what's Quatre's problem?".
"Exactly what were you two doing in there?", Trowa asked mildly annoyed. He and Heero had been discussing how to get a phsycotic-gun toting-gundam piloting-man in the sack.
Heero chose this time to speak in a language where you actually used your mouth, "We were playing Zylon Warriors and the baka beat me." Duo grinned. "Ah. Don't worry Hee-chan. You'll beat me next time, if you're lucky." "Duo", Heero gritted out between clenched teeth. Duo chuckled. He loved seeing Heero look like he was about to kill somebody. What can we say, he likes to live dangerously. "You were playing a video game?", Trowa asked. Duo looked at Trowa confused. "Yeah! What did you think we were doing?".
*corny elevator-like music starts* Hi. We'd like to invite you to the Container Store. There's a new one opening in Dallas this Saturday. We have everything you need to keep your life organized. Well, see you there. *Dundundundundun, dun!* Oh look we have more time. See what happens when you're organized? So visit the Container Store and get organized. Bye. *Dundundundundun, dun!*
So they hadn't been gettin' it on after all. Well there goes the
fun. Oh well. Wufei still had a nosebleed. Trowa laid Quatre down on the
floor. Though the boy was light, it's much easier to tend to someone when
they're lying down. Trowa crouched down to Q's level and tried to wake
him up with a series of gentle slapping.
Duo rolled his eyes and Heero looked mildly amused. 'You think he could be anymore obvious about his feelings?' Duo questioned himself. Trowa finally taking the hint, bought a clue. If he was going to wake Quatre up it was going to take drastic measures. (Azn: I thought you said there wasn't any lemon in this! Sari: There isn't. Azn: *phew* Sari: *sly grin* At least not in this part. Azn: NANI?!?!?!?! Sari: A joke, a joke, just a little joke!) Well smelling salts would work or even something as drastic as dropping him in cold water mght have to be done.
Trowa picked Quatre up intending on using another more efficent remedy, away from the 'publics' eye.
Now's the time we feel sorry for Wufei. "Hey, since you're being so nice to Q and all, why dontcha' help ol' Wuffy out too?" Duo knew exactly what was going to happen. He loved messing with Wufei, but it was such a bitch having to take responsibility for his 'crimes against justice'.
Being the multitasking man that he was Trowa, with Quatre still in his arms, delivered a massive kick to Wufei's ribcage. There was a satisfying crack. (Sari: Drugs? Azn: No, baka. Sari: Oh darn!) Duo was shocked at this scene of domestic abuse. He covered his 'virgin eyes' in an attempt to look innocent. Yeah, like that was going to work.
Heero being full of suprises that day, decided to think in a not so Perfect Soldier way. 'Hn. Trowa must be getting some nookie tonight.'
Wufei woke up with a start and a yelp of pain. "Kisama!"
"There. He's up.", Trowa announced cooly.
"Are you okay Wuffy?", Duo asked innocently. "You were kicked in the ribs."
Wufei's face turned red and his eyes became angry. You know, that type of angry where a DBZ character is about to blow a really insulting bad guy to bits, only with a justice twist. "One my name is not 'Wuffy'! Two, I know I've been hit in the ribs! And three, Barton if you had anything to do with this you better fix it!", Wuff-er- Wufei whined. "There is no justice!"
"But you were kicked in the ribs, not hit. I told ya' that", Duo explained.
Trowa walked right up to Wufei and delivered a graceful and stifling punch."Fix your own damn nose." 'Oh yeah. Definently getting some nookie.'
"Kibslama!" (translation: Kisama! Sari: Poor Wuffy's nose. Wufei: Do not call me Wuffy! Onna no baka! Sari: Onna no baka yaro Wuffy-chan! Wufei: *glare* Sari: *glare* Azn: *whispers* Don't mind them. Just keep reading.)
A few hours later when the general craziness stopped...
As it turns out the oh-so-important mission was really...um...well..stupid! Mr. I-have-the-eternal-gundanium- wedgie-that-only-one-special-person-can-fix *hint,hint* could have taken this mission by himself without even breaking a sweat. The mission: Infiltrate a possible OZ MS factory. Blow it up if it is. Destroy the place leaving nothing but rabid rabbits. (Sari: Just like u, imou-chan. Azn: *glares* Thanks I feel flattered.)
This should take maybe an hour-an hour and a half tops! Well if you think about it, there is one pissed pridless pilot, a drowsy pilot, another pilot who can't get any nookie if the other pilot is drowsy, one relativley normal death-loving pilot. and one stony, hot, sexy, phat, strong, bold, scrumptious (Sari: *drool* Azn: Clean your mess up! *hands over mop*) pilot. Leaving only two pilots in tip-top condition. Well...one if you think Duo is insane.
Nevertheless there were three gundams traveling by air and two by land happily marchin along, towards that place. Everything was peaceful and quiet except for the steady roar of the engines. However this peace was shattered by the one person who can't help provoking people until they want to tackle and slowly throttle him and scrape off every last bit of flesh, then proceding to feed it to ravenous grizzly bears!
"Ah.", Duo sighed, "This is one of my favorite types of missions. Get in. Get out. Blow shit up! Yeah! This is the life!
"Idiot dumb-ass. Shut up.", Heero's cold mission voice interrupted Duo from his joyous mumblings.
Duo looked mildly offended, but quickly got over it with the thought of revenge. 'Just you wait Heero Yuy. Soon you will be begging for more.' But of course menacing thoughts are second nature for Duo so, he just stuck his tounge out at the view screen.
After some idol chatter, mostly by Duo, and a few death threats, and whatnot, the G-boys had finally reached the Building(TM). All of the Gundams had to be covered thickly in any surrounding brush. So if there were two oddly shaped, Mickey Mouse style, shrubbs, no less than 6 feet tall, the gundams would somehow have to be hidden behind that.
Heero leaped out of his gundam without using footholds, while Duo kind of-er ...skipped? Well H&D were assigned to infiltrate and search while the other pilots sat there playing cards, taming animals, and gundam worshiping.
Heero ran passed the docking area avoiding any people with the names Bob or Joe, and then sprinted past unsuspecting and rather large guards. Then to avoid any contact, even from an insect, he rolled over to the door. That's when Duo opened it from inside.
Mild shock was etched on Heero's face. "How the hell...?", he whispered.
"Well ya know all those guards 'n truckdrivers 'n sruff, well they're real nice guys and were kind enough to lead me to the entrance. So, uh all that stealth was for nothing.", Duo explainde.
Heero just stared, blankly for a mintue, then shrugged and sauntered past Duo inside. Of course he didn't get very far, for the sight that assulted his eyes must have been derived straight from The Seventh Circle Of Hell(TM). Eveything was pink.
"Pink...", he whispered, "It's all damn...pink..."
1. Hahahahaahahahahahaa!! Yeah, right! Like knockings going to work!
2. Looks like somebody's been caught...
3. I could think of a few things....*hentai grin*
4. Sari: Casablanca?! Azn: No, you idiot-I mean gerk!
5. Sari&Azn: *raise hands*
6. Not that you hentai's!
Sari: Well that's the end of the chaos! *grins evilly* For now.
Azn: Don't tell me there's more.
Sari: Yep! *looks proud* 2 and a half more chapters of it!
Azn: *whispers* I feel sorry for you people. Heck, I feel sorry for me! I'm her muse!
Sari: Oi! Hm. Well I guess I should have another chapter typed soon. Oh yeah, and the chapters do get longer and, I guess, more intresting.
Azn: *snickers* You guess? *snickers*
Sari: Ooo! Snickers! Where?!?!
Sari: Oh yeah, and go read Azn Angels fics (Locker Love, Christmas Magic, and How Did I Fall In Love With You?) on Fanfiction.net and Moonromance.com under Azn Angel!