AUTHOR: sara-chan

ARCHIVES: fanfiction.net, the Sanctuary, IloveBishonen, but if you're interested, tell me.

RATING: PG but NC-17 at the end

PAIRINGS: 1x2, hints of 3x4

WARNINGS: Yaoi, angst, lemon later, AU

FEEDBACK: yes yes, please

DISCLAIMERS: Gundam Wing is the only property of Sunrise and Bandai.

And now, on to the fic!


CHAPTER 8: Confusion


After the intensity of the last mission, Duo thought that his relationship with Heero would have changed… that they would be closer, like true friends. But when he found himself with one cold and distant Heero after coming back to one of Quatre’s cozy safe houses, the everyday Heero acted as if nothing had even remotely happened between them. Like they hadn’t share intimate and painful memories with each other… but they did share those memories, and Duo fell into a restless sleep trying to figure out whether or not he had just dreamed it all up.

When Duo woke up the next day, Heero wasn't there. The braided teen had spent nervous moments trying to work up the nerve to approach him but, Quatre told him the Japanese pilot had left with Trowa for a mission.


The clock had just struck ten. Quatre and Wufei were in the kitchen eating their breakfast, and Duo wasn't even awake yet. Not really a surprise there. It would have been one if the braided teen was up before eleven.

His wounds were nearly all healed. Thanks to Quatre. But after three weeks of the blonde's helping hands, Duo wasn't sure if he wanted to thank his friends anymore. The first few days, Duo thought he was going to lose his mind if his Arabian friend continued to keep an eye on him every five minutes. He was sure that if he asked Quatre to feed him, he would do it. So three days later, the American boy decided to put a stop. When he explained to his friend that he had only a broken arm, that he wasn't an invalid or dying, Quatre gave him a smile that left the braided boy dumbfounded, and since then, all went wonderfully well.

"Ohayo Quat'! Ohayo Wu-man!"

Wufei lowered his newspaper and looked at the clock. 10:30. He raised a brow. "Did you fall off your bed, Maxwell? And my name is W-U-F-E-I!"

Duo ignored him and sat two chairs from the Chinese teen. Just in case…

"Good morning Duo. How are you feeling?" Quatre inquired while he poured a cup of very black coffee for his friend.

"Great!" the brown-haired boy answered happily and added three spoons of sugar in his cup.

Wufei chose not to look at what Duo was doing, but he promised himself to avoid the braided baka all the day. An hyperactive Duo was very dangerous. The Chinese pilot was talking from first-hand experience. He didn't want to see his Gundam painted in pink again.

"Today, I'm going to do some tidying up." Quatre said, as he served Duo some toast. "Do you want to help me?"

"Sure!" Duo replied with his mouth full.

Wufei snorted behind his newspaper. "You asked Maxwell to clean? Have you ever looked in his bedroom?"

"Hey!" the American teen protested. "My bedroom is anything but untidy! It's just my way of tidying."

"Yeah yeah." The Chinese said, not believing him one bit.

Duo stuck his tongue out at him, then the breakfast resumed as calmly as possible…


Two hours later, Duo and Quatre decided to rest and have a snack. Now in the living-room, Duo was laying on the couch and Quatre sitting was against it, cleaning his violin. The soft sound of the violin was like a lullaby to Duo's ears, and brought back sad memories.

"Duo? Are you alright?" Quatre asked worriedly.

It has been some time since he had stopped playing and Duo was still silent. Which was very unusual. The long-haired teen was laying, arms behind his head, staring at the ceiling thoughtfully. His eyes seemed to be wistful, sad. It surprised his Arabian friend to see such emotion in the boy who was joy and good-humored incarnate.

"Yeah, your melody reminds me of something."

"Ah?" Quatre said, telling him to continue.

"My mother… she loved music."

Quatre's curiosity grew more and more. He had known Duo for a few months now, but Quatre didn't know anything about his close yet distant friend. It was the first time the braided pilot mention something about his family. Quatre and Duo were a lot alike. Both of them were sociable, good-natured and always sharing a smile for anyone. Quickly, they became very close, like brothers. They used to always talk and share their problems before, so the blond teen immediately knew that Duo wanted to confess about something he hesitated to say before. He approached close to the couch, sat on the floor and leant back against the cushions.

"What is it Duo? Are you alright?" he said softly. "You know you can tell me anything."

The American teen continued to stare at the ceiling for a few minutes, then sighed. "It's Heero."

Quatre fought back a smile. He had expected the answer, but hadn't said a word. "What's going on with Heero?"

"It's just that…" Duo ran his hand nervously through his hair. "Arrgh! I don't understand him!"

"What did you expect from the Perfect Soldier?" Quatre asked mocking the title that was given to Heero.

Duo laughed bitterly. "Yeah, you're right. But I thought it'd be different after that." Seeing the puzzled look from Quatre, he told him what happened after the last mission.

"You know, sometimes I really want to know what's going on in his head!" Duo said frustrated.

When Heero told him his story, Duo understood it was something sacred for the Japanese teen. Duo was even sure Heero had never shared it with anyone else. At that moment, the braided boy felt special and happy. Happy because Heero trusted him. For the first time, they were like normal friends should be. Something new was born between the two that night. Well, that's what Duo thought. He wasn't too sure about Heero though.

That night, when he was snuggled against the Japanese teen's warm body, he felt better than he had ever in his short ten years.

Since Odin.

<No no! Better not think about him now.> Duo thought, as he listened to his blonde friend.

"You know. He's perhaps as lost as you." Quatre added as he sat near Duo.

"Hmphhh!" Duo replied not very convinced.

The Arabian teen smiled, then affectionately stroked his braided friend's hair. "You really love him, don't you?"

Duo jumped up and glared at Quatre much like the pilot 01 did. But seeing Quatre not impressed at all, he shrugged. "Hey! Someone has to worry about him." He said, noting with horror that he was blushing. "This guy could self-destruct at every mission if no one ever looked after him."

He glanced at Quatre again and tugged on his braid nervously. "Quat'. You and Trowa… how is it?"

Quatre shut his eyes and smiled, still stroking softly Duo's long hair. He knew this simple gesture make Duo feel calm and reassured. "It's… perfect. I can't find another word to describe it. But at the beginning, it was very difficult. Trowa is a withdraw person. He doesn't talk or show his feelings like us. He seemed to not trust anyone. But I knew he wasn't the cold person that he showed to everyone else. It was thanks to patience and love that Trowa and I became so close. And now that I think about it, Heero's behavior isn't very different from how Trowa's was."

"Really?" Duo asked in disbelief. "I'd rather think the Perfect Soldier would be ecstatic if I wasn't there anymore. And to prove to you that I'm right, what about how he left without telling me anything? If it's not indifference, I don't know what it is!"

"You can ask him." Quatre suggested while laughing.

"Are you crazy Quat'?" Duo rolled his eyes. "I don't have a death wish!"

Quatre laughed again and threw a nearby cushion on the braided teen. "Up, you lazy ass! We go back to work!" he said and stood up.

Duo groaned, but got up too. He turned toward his friend and smiled, this time honestly. "Thanks Quat'. I'm better now."

The blond smiled and patted his shoulder. "You're welcome."


After finishing the first floor, the two pilots moved to the rooms. When Duo arrived at Heero's, he hesitated. <It's the first time I enter his room. If he knew, I'm sure he'd kill me.> the braided teen thought while he opened the door, the vacuum in one hand.

"I wonder why I even came in here."

The bedroom was clean and tidy. Not even a book was misplaced. Duo sighed to himself, if dust bunnies were allowed, he was sure they'd be lined along the bookshelf, single file. The room couldn't be more perfect!

<Go figure… He is the Perfect Soldier after all.> Duo snorted.

Duo began with the desk and cleaned the minimal amount of dust on the shelves. When he finished, he passed to the floor. But when he put his vacuum under the bed, it bumped against something.


On his knees, Duo put his hand under the bed, and indeed he met something hard. He grabbed it and removed it from the bed. He found himself with a box. A violet box.

"Why did he put it under his bed?" Duo said to himself, surprised.

He noticed the smooth surface of the box. It was like someone cleaned it regularly. Everyday…

This time, Duo's curiosity was at its peak. What could possibly be in there that would make the Japanese pilot hide it under his bed and clean it everyday? Oh, he wasn't an idiot. The only explanation was that Heero wanted to keep the box as a secret.

The braided boy debated between the pros and cons if he should open it or not. He wasn't someone who sneaked in other's personal belongings. Everyone has a private life, he himself the first to say so. But something pushed him to open it. He had this feeling that if he opened it, he would finally understand Heero.

<It's not like he'll know. I will put it back exactly where it was.>

And then, he opened the box.

"What are you doing in my room?"

Duo jumped and felt his heart beating faster and faster. He didn't need to turn to know who was there. Slowly, he raised his eyes and met two furiously blazing cobalt eyes.