11-18-2001

Title: Don't Ever Doubt Me
Author: Sana
Email: smj@neobee.net
Warnings: angst, sap, POV/3rd person switching, Relena bashing
Pairings: 1+2/2+1, R+1
Disclaimer: Don't own them. Never will.
Feedback: Yes, please! ^_^
Archive: fanfiction.net under Sanashi
A Jester's Mask: http://www.stormpages.com/deathangel02/fanfic.html
Endless Love: http://www.geocities.com/gw_luv/sana.html
Author's Notes: I hope I posted this in time to enter the contest... It's still not the 18th, right? (stupid time difference... >_<)

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Finally, the bell rang. I thought that class would never end. Our redhead teacher has such a dull voice; it almost lulled me to sleep after the first five minutes of class. As I exited, she mentioned something about the exams next week, but I didn't bother to listen. It didn't matter. If it were up to me, I'd go home right away and forget about all this mess.

You're probably wondering what the hell I'm talking about, right? So, I'll tell you how it all started.

Four days ago, I received a call from Professor G, assigning me to a mission. The mission wouldn't be hard, he said, so they had decided Heero and I could pull it off on our own, without any help from the others.

Sounds like a dream, doesn't it? Infiltrating a school with your boyfriend? It would have been if it hadn't been for that annoying blonde.

G told me she had gotten some death threats, and being so incredibly important for peace, we had to go and protect her. For a brief moment, I wondered if it was real, or did she just make it up so she could have Heero close. It wouldn't surprise me in the least.

As soon as we had arrived, she was all over him, hugging him and whispering things in his ear. He didn't react to it, but then again, he didn't push her away, either. It hurt seeing him in someone else's arms, and I couldn't help but feel jealous.

She was coming on to him shamelessly. And to think people considered her for a shy person with good manners. They must have had a blindfold over their eyes the day they'd met her.

And to make it all worse, she ignored me completely. Heero was his usual, quiet self, never bothering to answer any questions directed his way, but I was already used to it, so I didn't really blame him. She, on the other hand, did it on purpose, trying her best to irritate me while acting as if I weren't even there. Whenever I tried to start up a conversation, she would either simply change the subject, or pull him away to do something 'fun together'.

After two days I was fuming with anger, hurt, and jealousy, and when I confronted Heero about it, the only answer I got was, 'Hn, baka.'

Needless to say, that didn't reassure me in the slightest, and I had started to wonder if there was something between them, something that I subconsciously denied, refused to see.

But I will find out soon enough. Even now, I'm walking towards our dorm room, preparing myself to confront him once again. Only this time, I won't stop bugging him until he tells me his real feelings. I will force him if I had to.

Yeah, I know what you might think. He's stronger than me, so how could I make Mr. Perfect Soldier do something he doesn't feel like doing? Well, let's just say Shinigami can be very dangerous when pissed off. Heero found this out the hard way.

~*~*~

She tugged him along, his face as expressionless as ever. She had come to pick him up as soon as his classes ended, telling him she'd like to go for a walk. Being that it was his mission to protect the annoying girl's life, Heero couldn't let her go alone.

That was hours ago. He was so tired of listening to her annoying voice as she made plans for their future together, that he even considered blowing her head off himself.

The only thing the Japanese boy could do to keep himself from going mad was to completely ignore her chattering. He didn't even pretend to listen to her, letting his mind travel to last night, to Duo.

As much as he didn't want to admit it, what Duo said had hurt him. He had tried to convince himself that what he had with the braided American was merely a physical relationship, nothing that could get in the way of missions, nothing that he cared about. And yet, Duo had proved him wrong.

He didn't know whom he was angry with because of that: himself or Duo. All he knew was that he needed time to think. The last person he wanted to see was the blond witch and her irritating face.

Hopefully, soon she would get tired of talking to herself and run back to the little group of fans. Hopefully, not like it had ever happened.

After walking around the park, they decided to sit on a bench and rest. Relena sat close to Heero, moving closer with each second until she was practically sitting on his lap. And that was too much. He couldn't take it anymore.

He rose slowly, not forgetting to be polite, although wanting nothing more than to push the girl on the ground and kick her for all he was worth. He said something about not feeling well and asked her to follow him back to her room.

The look of disappointment on Relena's face was obvious. She had been sure this would be the day Heero would kiss her. But once again, he found an excuse to leave as soon as she'd gotten closer to him. 'He is so shy', she thought, not once thinking there could be another reason for his sudden departures.

Smiling brightly, she took his arm and let him lead her back to the school.

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Only minutes later, they found themselves walking down the school corridor and Heero couldn't believe how happy he was because of one single fact: soon he would be rid of <insert rancid description of Relena here>.

When they rounded the corner, only a few doors away from Relena's room, the girl stopped suddenly. Sensing this, Heero paused and turned to look at her, one eyebrow raised in confusion.

Before he could even blink, her arms locked around his neck, her pale face inching closer.

"Don't be shy, Heero. I know this is what we both want. Let me make you happy."

He was too surprised to think, much less push her away. He could see her eyes close and could feel her breath on his lips.

Just as their lips were about the touch, someone rounded the corner, gasping loudly at the sight. The sound brought Heero back from his trance-like state, just in time to see the hurt on his braided love's face. He could see one crystal tear trailing down the smooth cheek as his lover turned and ran.

~*~*~

I've been looking for him since my classes had ended, but I couldn't find him anywhere. I waited for him in our room, giving up after a while and choosing to look for him rather than sit alone in that boring dorm room.

I don't know why it took me so long to remember to check if he was with Relena. Probably because my mind refused to believe that he was. So I headed for her room, thinking of reasons to get Heero to be alone with me, and hoping she wouldn't slam the door in my face when she saw me.

I didn't get to do much planning though, because when I entered the corridor that led to her room, I was greeted with a not-so-pleasant sight. They were kissing. Well, not really, more like about to, but it all amounts to the same thing anyway.

At that moment I felt like I'd been hit on the head with a huge stone that had 'reality' written all over it. How could I have been so blind? He spent more time with her than he did with me, so why didn't I see it?

I felt betrayed, hurt, even stupid. I couldn't believe he was doing that behind my back... He could have simply told me he wanted to be with her, it wouldn't hurt this much. At least, I don't think it would.

I stopped dead in my tracks as soon as I laid eyes on them, suddenly finding it hard to breathe. I gasped, finding my breath, and felt my eyes grow unbelievably wide. I don't cry. I never cry! Especially not in front of Heero. I couldn't let him see how much this hurt me.

But my eyes refused to obey, welling up with tears in mere seconds, and biting my lip, I turned away. I couldn't stand looking at the scene that lay before me and I couldn't let Heero see me cry. So I ran, away from him and away from the truth.

~*~*~

The look I saw in Duo's eyes shattered my heart into a million pieces. I've never seen him so sad for all the time we've been together. And the fact that I was the reason for it made me feel even worse.

But before I could say anything, explain to him what was going on, he whirled around and ran.

I stared after him, still trying to process what had happened in the past few minutes, when I felt my head being turned with long fingers still resting on the sides of my face.

"He's gone, forget about him. Now, where were we?" she asked, something in her eyes telling me that she enjoyed this all the more because it made Duo suffer.

I placed my hands on her shoulders and pushed her as far away from me as I could, slamming her on the wall. She winced, sliding to the floor unconscious, but at that moment, I didn't care. She could go to hell for all I cared. Fuck Dr. J. Fuck the mission. And most of all, fuck her.

I didn't do so much as glance at her before running after Duo and leaving her lying on the floor.

I had no idea where he could have run to so I kept running and after a while, I caught up with him. He's always said I was faster than him. I guess he was right.

"Duo, stop!" I screamed, losing my composure and allowing my tone to become pleading. "Please stop, I can explain!"

But he kept on running and I kept on following. Slowly, the distance between us diminished, until finally I was close enough to reach his hand.

I grabbed it, forcing him to stop and pinning him to the wall at the same time. He lowered his head and closed his eyes, refusing to look at me.

"Duo, look at me. Duo... Please. It's not what you think."

"Oh? It's not? No, don't tell me! She was choking and you had to give her mouth-to-mouth, right? How dumb do you think I am?" he screamed at me, eyes blazing with anger.

He lifted his head as he spoke, and I could have a clear look at his face for the first time. I could see the tears staining his eyes, making them look glassy, as well as the wet trails they left while descending his cheeks. My eyes burned with un-cried tears from the very sight of him like that.

"I don't think you're dumb. And I never said she was choking. She was trying to kiss me."

He fell silent, taken aback with my sincerity. Obviously, he'd expected me to say anything but what I just have. In some other situation, I would have smirked, but this time it was way too serious.

I cupped his cheek, wiping the precious tears with my hand, using the moment to trace the contours of his lips as well. He didn't move to stop me, so I decided to use his surprise to tell him the truth.

"Don't cry, Duo. Please. You don't have a reason to. She was about to kiss me, not the other way around. You should know I love you."

"How could I know? You never told me!"

New tears sprang to his eyes, trailing down his face slowly and mingling with the ones already soaking my hand.

He tried to push me away, but both he and I knew he wasn't strong enough. I held him in place, deciding to show him just how much I love him. with a kiss.

I held his head between my hands, and covered his mouth with mine. My tongue moved slowly over his lower lip, seeking entrance. At first, he was still trying to push me away, refusing to kiss me back. But the love I poured into that kiss won out in the end, and I felt him surrender to me, parting his lips.

I kissed him slowly, showing all my passion with that simple action. It was the only way I could really express my feelings, finding it hard to put it all into words. And it seemed Duo felt it, too, because only moments later he surrendered himself completely, kissing me back.

I felt him grow weak under my touch, his knees buckling, and I had to hold him to keep him from falling down.

He was tugging on my shirt, trying to pulling me closer, the anger he felt only moments ago long forgotten.

The need for air made me pull away and I looked at the dazed amethyst eyes lovingly.

"Don't ever doubt that I love you. Never."

I kissed him again.

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Owari