Blah blahs:All rights and privileges to Shin Kidousenki Gundam Wing are trademarks and property of Sunrise, Bandai, Sotsu Agency, and all peoples associated . The characters of these fictions are used WITHOUT permission for the entertainment purposes only. This work of fiction is not meant for sale or profit. As if anyone would actually pay money for this thoughtless dribble. And even if they like it, it's right here and money is not required. Bottom line: I don't own them I just like to play God with them. Like an ant walking back and forth across my feet for what seems like miles upon miles. Or an bug with a magnifying glass as it slowly burns into nothingness. *Ahem* Yes, I don't own them. Never have. Never will. *Sigh*
Pairings: 2+1 1+2
Contents: Death Angst POV Shonen ai Sad
Summary: Heero realizes something too late
Ai. It's such a strange word, 'I', but there is nothing selfish about this emotion. That must be why he told me that he loved me. He is the most selfless person that I've ever known.
I did not understand at the time why he could. I had closed myself off to anything that did not involve the mission and he was not originally in my mission, so I asked. His answer was strange, making no sense at the time. He said that 'love is not one thing'.
I understand his statement now, after years of digesting his words. Now that it is too late.
He had said that he did not have time to wait for my heart to defrost. It was never frozen in the first place. He had said that he needed a break from his life. I didn't know at the time, but that meant a break from me as well. He had said...
It didn't matter anymore, he was gone and I blame myself. If only I had.... Well, I hadn't and I kick myself every time I think 'if only'.
I understand now. I was too young and occupied back then. There was no one thing that made me fall in love with him. In fact, if I were asked why, I would give the same answer he did. Now I know that all of those nameless, nondescript feeling and traits do have a name. Ai. I cannot say if it was his personality, his eyes, or his hair. I was just him. Everything was just him.
I place a single crimson rose on the freshly disturbed earth.
I understand and I know love.
Ai shitte iru.
I was just sooooooooo bored on that stupid airplane!
I got a lot of info about pirates in Puerto Rico, so...I'll get back to Sabaku no Namida now...*runs away in shame*