Disclamer: Don' own nuthin'.
Archive: <shrugg> Anybody want it?
Pairings:*umm* No? Well, kinda, but I aint tellin'.
Warnings: strange naration ahead (guess who by), beware of falling symbolism, and please stay seated throughout the duration of our fic.
Thank you. You may now proceed.
~Just a Dream~
Have you ever had one of those dreams? One of those strange haunting dreams that your educated self knows very well is just a simple play on your brain but you still cant seem to get rid of?
Not long ago I had this dream; Im some sort of administrator in the beginning. A teacher or hall attendant, I dont know, I just assume.
Im standing in the hall of some school or other facility. I dont really know any of this, Im just guessing from memory. Its just a hallway lined in tile and brick and dotted with doorways. I see no class rooms or even kids. I just know its a school and Im just standing there like I have a purpose. Its been quiet. Not that kind of peaceful quiet when nothings going on, the kind of quiet where there is no sound. Like space.
Suddenly I hear cries. Theyre like loud sobs carried just far enough to reach me. As though someone were calling my name through the cries. I follow after the sound. I guess Im running since the doors are passing quicker. I cant see myself. I dont during the whole dream, not till the end. I come to the door I know the sounds are coming from. Its a little different than the others. It looks the same but it just feels different. Like this door is the only one that really exists for me. I walk through the doorway. I dont have to open the door, it just kind of disappears for me. Im in another hall but this one is different. The walls are high and close and everywhere is this blood red stone. The floors, the walls, I cant see the ceiling.
Its too dark, too high up. There are no lights, yet I can see. Its like the light creeps through the cracks just enough to keep me going. And I do.
I follow the sounds throughout the twisting halls noticing faintly how much closer the walls are getting. The sounds are getting closer. Not louder but closer. I just know. And then the halls end and Im standing in the doorway to another room. This one frightens me. Its a huge, square room lined on all sides by tall lockers. Above the lockers are rows of small windows, letting just enough light through, just enough to let me see what Im afraid of but not understand it. In the center of the room are many long benches. Theyre placed at random, like theyve been shoved around recently, but none are touching. I notice now a corner without lockers. Theres a counter, like a store counter but made of the same red stone as the walls, and behind it I know the sobs start. My heart pounding, I make my way across the room, weaving through the scattered benches and trying my best to stay away from the lockers. I cant help watch them, as though they will burst open any moment and suck me in. Theyre different colors and a few are nothing. Not empty just nothing. Gaping, cold, black nothing. Yet everything. Im not watching where Im going anymore. I twist and turn about the benches without looking. I just know where to move. My eyes are fixed in those dark lockers. They hold my everything and my nothing. My fears and my dreams and my everything locked away but open and dark. Im at the counter and theres no looking back.
Im suddenly hesitant, though. As if looking over the counter will make all that nothing real. I look over at one of the dark lockers and the sobs hitch suddenly. To remind me its life Im looking after. I just know. In dreams I always just know. I place my hands on the counter top and peer over and there, huddled in the corner behind it, sobbing and shaking, wrapped only in his hair, is my destination. Without another thought I pass around the side of the bar, keeping well away from the gaping locker beside it. I kneel before this shaking boy and speak. I cannot hear myself and I havent a clue what I said but it soothes him. He sweeps a hand through his hair and I think suddenly its better than any window.
I long to see his face and he knows. He lifts his face to me and I see the tears streaked down his perfection. Perfect and flawed. The tears fall from nothing. There are no eyes. I see the water gather and fall from nothing, from black, from space like those lockers. So empty and so full and suddenly a tear falls in and Im following it. It falls and falls through darkness and then light. The nothing breaks away into a scene. Theres a black horse and a white horse by a lake. A great lake with a house under the water.
The black horse is on the roof suddenly, just above the water, and the white horse waits on the shore. I follow the tear drop, so big now, dropping into the lake to flood the darker horse. The white horse runs and I weep.
Im back from his non-eyes and kneeled on the red floor of that strange room, sobbing along with him. He stops his cries. The tears still flow but hes silent now. A different kind of quiet. This is the quiet of nothing said and its comforting. He lays a hand on my face and I cry out. I sob and shudder and hes there holding me, keeping strong though hes broken and lacking himself. The room is suddenly brighter. The lockers are all faded, like background only and the floor is open. No counter, no benches, nothing to block movement. We dont move though. Not far anyway. I scoot back from him, staying close enough to touch, far enough to move. I reach towards myself and extend my arm to him holding something. He is suddenly so happy. I cant see what Ive given him but Im so relieved to have saved him. The lockers have disappeared.
Everything is white. Like the light has been let in, so bright that lines are blurred by it. And in the new light I see myself. Kneeling and expressionless and yet looking so happy. I hold him and take refuge in him and the tears fall from nothing for us. He has no eyes, grasping on to whatever I have given him. I have no eyes, grasping on to my destination.
And I woke up. I woke and was in tears. I couldnt keep still after that.
Being silent as possible, I crept through the dim lit halls of the present school, and found myself before his room. The lock picked, I peer in, suddenly fearful he may wake. A sliver of hall light lays across his face and sparkles there. He has tears on his face and sobs in his sleep. I touch a shaky hand to my own new tears and leave, locking the door again and returning to my bed. I wake come dawn and continue with my missions, with their war. I have not time to analyze such visions.
It was just a dream...
Hes just a dream...
Just one of those dreams...
Well, I would really like comments. They're such a sweet treat tah have! If'n yah understood any of the symbolism in this crock, tell me. I don' even get half of it.