6-27-2001

Pairings: (hinted)1x2/2x1, Alexander(oc)xMichelle(oc), (hinted)4x3/3x4
Warnings: Sad. Just sad.
Archive: Please do. Just tell me first.
Disclaimer: I own no Gundam Wing.
Notes: This is one long dialog of an original character. I have no real description for Xander. He just kind of came to be as I typed.
If it's like /this/ it's sound not speech.
To the fic.

 

'Chat the Stone'

 

Hey.

I know it hasn’t been a while, but I’ve been on L2 with Michelle and… well.

You know.

/Umm/ Not too much has happened. Life is slow. Which is good, I guess. I’ve been good. Kind of sad now and then. Miss you.

Oh Hey. Michelle might be pregnant. /heh/ Yeah. A little Alexander, ne?

Scary thought.

I really hope she is, you know. I’d love to have a little bit of myself to carry on. I’m kind of scared though. I mean, all the shit that could happen. Excuse my language. God. I can’t care for a kid yet! I’m only 24.

/heh/ I’m losing my mind and I don’t even know if she’s pregnant yet!

How did you guys ever manage? I know I was hell on you two. I really love you though. I always will. I mean, you’re my dads. The guys that took me away from that hell hole of an orphanage and gave me a real home. A real family. I wasn’t just Alexander anymore. I was Xander. /sniffle/ You’re little Xander, ne? Long time since I’ve been called that… too long. God, I miss you guys. Everyday, I wake up and wish I could just call one of you and go to lunch or… or anything. But, we’re a little too far apart now.

I can’t even call you anymore…/sniffle/

I was packing, before we came for this visit, and I was thinking back. You, know. Remembering when I was little. I remember when we moved to earth. I was, what? 8? Man. I was heart broken. Seemed like the end of the world back then. I remember crying over my suitcase and Papa pulling me away from it. You remember what you said to me? “No matter where we are, we’re home. We’re together.” Always right to the point. I still think about that, when I feel it the worst. When I think of how it was. And part of me can never fight how right you were. You always seemed to be right. Dad was always fun but you always seemed to be the word of wisdom. Wish you were still around to give me some of that advice.

What if she is pregnant? What’ll I do?

/sigh/ I’ll raise the kid.

I’ll love her and her mother for the rest of my life, right? Yeah. You raised me good enough to know that. I was thinking. /heh/ Seem to be doing a lot of that lately. But, I was wondering about a name. I mean. There are so many people I have to honor. I decided, if it’s girl, she’ll be Helen Mary Yui-Maxwell. You like?

Yeah.

But, I don’t know what to do about a boy. I’d want to name him after one of you, but which one? I love you both too much to pick and Duo Heero Yui-Maxwell doesn’t sound right. No offense. I…I thought about Quatre, you know. I mean. He was… He was like family too. But, with Trowa, he didn’t have anyone left to be named for him. I thought I’d, you know, name him Quatre. I haven’t talked to Trowa. I thought I’d talk to you two first.

/sniffle/

This isn’t fair.

This just isn’t right! I shouldn’t be here like this. On a trip, stopping at the stone for a chat! It isn’t right! You should be here! You should be here with me! You shouldn’t have.../sniffle/ not yet...

...

Quatre should be here too. He should be with Trowa. With his sisters...

...

/sigh/ It’s never fair is it? /heh/ Damn.

I have to go soon. Michelle is waiting for me.

I really do miss you guys. I’ll talk to Trowa. I think he’ll like the idea.

I think Quatre would like it.

/umm/ Dad. I love you. And...I just wanted to say that.. I never blamed you.

Never. I mean, I kind of broke when you.../sniffle/ And, they all told me not to blame you. But I never did. You loved each other. /sniffle/ Where ever you are, I-I’m sure you still do. I don’t blame you. If Michelle... If she ever did. I don’t know what I’d do... I...I understand and I love you. Both...always.

...

I’ve got to go.

I love you, Dad.

I love you, Papa.

~End~

 

Personal Notes: I've been in a funk since father's day. My grandfather died last year and this year, my dad fell apart. It just hurt so much to see him cry. I never had before. I'm 18 and I'd never seen him shed a tear. He's my father. My strong, happy dad. It felt so wrong to see him cry... This had to be written. It may not be good, but for me it fulfilled something. Enough.

Comments, please.

~O8>NUBIA<8O~