Pairings: 1+2, 3+4

Disclaimer: I don't own them, I never did, I never will. Done for fun.

Notes: I want to write, but I don’t want to get started on a long story (I just did that. The story’s being beta-d at the moment), or start something that’ll probably stop midway and stay unfinished (Have enough of those. Even though, More than Darkness will get at least another post posted... as soon as I can find the longhand torture scene <sigh>).

So, I dug out an old story idea (it was written on a shoebox lid). I had the idea for this from an old line challenge, plus a co-worker who has the same reaction as Quatre.

Archiving: Not without prior permission. Will appear on my fiction page, which is currently at http://www.millenicom.com/nagisa/ninsfic/ (I'm moving! <beam> I have a domain, and will move the page there sooner or later. My email has moved there already, though...).


Tea Time
by Ninjababe <ninjababe@ondragonswing.com>

Duo’s curiosity finally got the better of him as he watched Quatre sprinkle a white powder over his tea. Quatre then, after putting the bottle cap back onto the small bottle, he slipped it back into a pocket. “Quatre, what’s the powder? You’ve already put sugar into the tea.”

After taking a few bites of one of the cookies Duo had made, Quatre replied, “Something I got used to having in my tea when my sisters prepared it. It just doesn’t taste right without it.”

“But, what is it?”

“Arsenic,” the blonde gundam pilot said blithely before finishing one cookie and starting another. “Good cookies.”

“Thanks. My own recipe. Chocolate, peanut butter, and coconut,” Duo replied before the first part of his friend’s statement hit him. “Arsenic?! You poison your tea?!”

“Coconut?! I ate coconut?!” Quatre exclaimed, staring at the half-eaten cookie in his hand.

“What’s all the yelling?” Wufei demanded as he stood in the doorway.

“Quatre’s drinking arsenic!”

“Duo gave me coconut!”

Wufei blinked a few times, processing the information.

“Give me the arsenic,” Duo stated, ignoring the shocked Chinese pilot in the doorway.

“No!” Quatre replied, holding his hand protectively over the pocket with the arsenic. “It’s mine! You gave me coconut!”

“Yuy, Barton!” Wufei shouted over his shoulder. “Crisis!”

“What does the coconut matter?! You’re drinking poison!”

“I’ve been drinking it for ten years at least! I’m immune to the damn stuff. You gave me coconut! I have bad reactions to coconut!”

Trowa and Heero had chosen that moment to enter, Heero with his gun drawn, but pointed towards the ceiling. Trowa, hearing Quatre’s exclamation, paled and turned to Heero. “Shoot me. Now.”

Heero raised an eyebrow and put away his gun. “What’s going on?”

“As far as I can tell,” Wufei replied as he took a seat, “Maxwell thinks Quatre’s drinking poisoned tea, and Quatre is yelling about eating coconut.”

“My family has been trying to poison each other for centuries. It’s a game we play. I’m immune to pretty much everything by now. Besides, I like the way arsenic tastes in my tea. You gave me coconut.”

“Wait,” Heero said, scowling. “You drink poison for fun and are allergic to coconut?”

“Yeah… sort of allergic.” Quatre nodded.

“What do you mean, ‘sort of’?” Duo replied, still shocked.

“He gets hyper on coconut,” Trowa replied. “I’ve seen it happen. I’ll be back in a few days when I’m sure it’s out of his system. Good luck.” The uni-banged pilot then turned on his head and ran.

Quatre stared at the wall, his eyes starting to glaze, while the three remaining pilots shared raised eyebrows.

“It can’t be that bad,” Duo tentatively stated.

“You know,” Quatre said, a bright look on his face. “these walls are too blah. I think a florescent plaid would be nice.”

Wufei gulped while Duo’s eyes became saucer size.

“We’re doomed.” Heero stated emotionlessly.


Quatre, after being talked out of fluorescent wallpaper had moved on to trying to attach the safe-house's furniture to the ceiling.

"It won't work," Heero stated.

"Yes, it will," Quatre pouted, stamping his foot. "We just rivet the furniture to the ceiling support beams."

"Where will you get the machinery for that?" Duo asked, afraid.

Quatre waved a negligent hand. "I'm rich. I'll buy it."

"No. Do something else," Wufei said, arms crossed.

Still pouting, Quatre stomped off. "You're no fun!"

"We better follow him," Duo said with a sigh.

The three finally caught up to Quatre as he was climbing into his mecha.

"I hate to ask," Wufei sighed.

"Quatre," Heero yelled up. "What are you doing?"

"Sandrock needs exercise," Quatre yelled down.

The three stood in shock as the blonde pilot's Gundam did jumping jacks. After twenty minutes of ground-shaking jumps, Sandrock dropped to the ground to do sit-ups.

"If he starts doing push-ups, I'm leaving," Duo muttered.

"You created this problem, Maxwell. You're going to stay until it's over. Or, you'll wake-up bald."

"You wouldn't!" Duo exclaimed as Quatre guided Sandrock back into its cradle.

Sighing, Heero shook his head. "Only one thing would make this day perfect..."


"You had to say that." Wufei transferred his glare to Heero.

"Relena-san!" Quatre chirped as he came up to the three pilots and Relena, who was now glomped onto Heero's arm and rubbing her head against his shoulders. "You're just in time!"

Relena blinked at the almost quivering blonde. "In time for what?"

"Tea, of course!" Quatre's grin became evil for a split second before returning to his usual innocent self. "My own special brew, of course. None of that cheap, commercialized trash for you, Relena-san."

Relena's ego inflated even more and she nodded. Still holding Heero's arm, she gave a few useless tugs to get him to follow Quatre, who had Duo yelling at him.

"You can not give her 'special' tea!" Duo berated the again pouting Quatre.

"Why not? It's the perfect solution. No more annoying twit following us around, screaming and rubbing herself against your boyfriend." Quatre stopped and turned teary eyes to his friend. "I want my boyfriend. Where's my boyfriend?"

"He had a mission," Wufei replied as he and Heero caught up.

"Where's Ms. Queen?" Quatre asked, momentarily forgetting his missing boyfriend.

"We sent her away. She thinks we have a mission," Heero said, giving the arm Relena hung on a shake.

Quatre sighed and his eyes glazed over again. "Bored now."

The others, even Heero, gulped.



“Maxwell, you are going to do it,” Wufei growled.

“Over his dead body,” Duo replied, going into a defensive crouch.

Heero rolled his eyes. “Do it.”

“What will you give me?” Duo asked, a calculating look in his eyes.

“I’m yours for the same amount of time this lasts. No missions, nothing but me and you.” Heero crossed his arms and glared.

“Deal!” Duo bounced up from his crouch and called out. “Okay, Quatre. But, NO scissors!”

Quatre ran around the corner, a huge grin on his face. “Anything?”

Duo nodded. “Anything but cutting. For as long as you want.”

“Yes!” Quatre jumped into the air, then pulled out a comb, brush, a bag of small rubber bands, and a spool of ribbon. “I’ve always wanted to put lots of little braids in your hair.”

“What’s the ribbon for?” Wufei asked, glad his hair wasn’t about to be tortured.

“Bows, of course,” Quatre said before waving the brush toward the couch.

“At least they’re black,” Duo muttered, allowing himself to be positioned on the couch.

Hours passed. Duo had finally given up grumbling and just enjoyed the process of Quatre putting the neat and tiny, quarter-inch braids with small, perfect black bows.

“There, done,” Quatre said with a yawn. “Just in time too.”

“Whatcha mean?” Duo asked as he turned his head.

“I’m crashing. Night,” Quatre replied before passing out gains the sofa arm.

After arranging the blonde on the sofa and covering him with a blanket, Duo wandered off to find Heero.

“This is kinda cool,” he muttered to himself, moving his head to make the braids sway back and forth. “Feels neat.”

Finding Wufei in the hanger, he called out. “It’s safe now! He crashed.”

The Chinese pilot scrambled down his gundam and raised an eyebrow. “Interesting.”

“I think I like it,” Duo said defensively. “Where’s Heero?”

“Last I saw him, he was in the kitchen.”

“Thanks!” Duo turned and left the hanger. Five minutes later, he was standing with hands on hips behind his boyfriend. Heero was typing away on his laptop.

“Time?” Duo barked.

Turning quickly, Heero raised his eyebrows at Duo’s hair.

Duo rolled his eyes in reply and used the hairband he had around his wrist to pull the little braids back into a ponytail. “Time?”

“It’s 1735. Why?” Heero asked.

“I have your ass for the next four hours. So, until 2135, you’re mine. Bedroom. Now.”

Heero saved his work and shut the laptop down. “Let’s go then.”


End notes:

1) Duo’s right… tons of little braids do feel neat.

2) hee hee… I had so much fun with this.

I hearby state that I did not ingest, sniff, smoke, or slather onto my body any illegal or regulated substance while this was written.