Warnings: Contains light shonen ai.
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters portrayed in this story. No money was made from this, and this was done totally for fun.
Notes: This story takes place simultaneously with Modus Operandi, What A Way To Go, and the second sequel to Modus Operandi, which is untitled at the moment and in the works (Poor Relena <g>).
I wanted to find out what the other pilots were doing during Heero and Duo's shopping trip.
More notes at the end, since I don't want to give away plot points.
Quatre looked over his supplies and nodded. Satisfied he had everything required to survive the next few hours, he turned to Trowa, who was seated beside him. "You have everything?"
Trowa held up his popcorn and drink and nodded with a small smile.
Quatre turned to his other side. "Wufei?"
"I don't know how I got talked into this," the Chinese pilot said, sitting on Quatre's other side with arms crossed.
"Duo says it's a good movie," Quatre pointed out, dropping a handful of candy into his mouth.
"Maxwell liked to watch talk shows. He finds gardening programs interesting," Wufei pointed out.
"Heero enjoyed it also," Trowa added.
Remembering that Heero had stated the movie was an experience, not that he enjoyed it, Quatre opened his mouth, but shut it again when he saw Trowa give a small shake of his head.
Just then, the theater darkened and the screen was filled with the green screen proclaiming that the following preview was appropriate for all ages.
"Oooo!" Trowa quietly exclaimed. "A trailer for Highlander 22!"
"I can't believe they're still making those. It's all the same. Stop the evil Immortal's plot, go to bed with the girl, a few sword fights... Boring!" Quatre replied.
"What about all the James Bond films? At least Highlander doesn't have those corny jokes," Trowa retorted.
"You two stop it, or I'm sitting between you," Wufei interjected, knowing form experience that the current topic of conversation would end up with an argument, then the two of them making up, then making out.
Finally, the trailers were over, the movie started, and the first victim was brutally killed during the opening sequence.
"Icky," Quatre said.
"Oh my," Wufei added, wide-eyed.
"Very realistic," Trowa stated, stealing some of Quatre's popcorn.
The movie progressed predictably enough with innocent people being gored to death.
"Hey lady! Stop that!" Quatre muttered at the screen, glaring.
"You don't have sex in the middle of a forest during a horror film," Trowa added, throwing a chip of ice at the screen.
Wufei growled. "Quiet."
"Sorry," Trowa and Quatre said simultaneously, contrite.
Silence reigned for ten minutes until the female lead reached for the patio door of the house she was hiding in.
Quatre groaned. "Don't go out there, you twit!"
"She deserves to be gored by the killer deer," Trowa pointed out in reply.
"She won't be though," Quatre said, glaring at the screen as the heroine ran around, screaming. "We haven't seen her naked yet."
Wufei turned and glared at the other two pilots. "Will you two be quiet?! You're as bad as Maxwell!" Turning, he glared at the screen, where the heroine had somehow lost her top, was now wet, and still running around like a chicken with its head chopped off. "I would have preferred if you two were making out."
"And miss this?" Trowa asked, waving at the screen.
"Is she finally going to die?" Quatre asked before holding his breath in anticipation as the stampeding deer closed in on the hapless woman.
"I hope so. She dropped every possible weapon of defense. Twit." Trowa then groaned as the woman miraculously escaped being gored. "The deer should have gotten her. That made the movie totally unbelievable."
"Oh, and deer turning carnivorous and craving human flesh is believable," Wufei retorted, finally giving in to temptation to talk.
"He's cute," Quatre said, nodding to the hero's sidekick, the only character who was able to keep a weapon for more than five minutes. "But, not as cute as you, Trowa," the blonde man added hurriedly.
"Will you three shut the hell up?" A slightly squeaky male voice said from behind the three pilots.
All three turned to look behind them to see a muscular teenager glaring at them.
"I'm sorry, are we disturbing you?" Quatre asked, his voice sugary-sweet with an undertone of menace.
Not knowing he was about to get into deep trouble, the teen answered. "Yeah, now stop it before I beat the crap out of all three of you." The teenager's date, who was holding onto his arm, suddenly squealed in terror and hid her head against his chest.
Turning to the screen, Trowa watched the hero grab his girlfriend in a passionate embrace, dead killer deer around them. Turning back to the teenager, his face stilled and became as smooth as glass as his soldier persona came to the fore. "You made us miss the climax of the movie."
"So?" the teenager replied, eyes narrowed, looking from the glaring contest he had been in with Wufei.
"Trowa," Quatre said softly, placing his hand on his lover's upper arm. "It's not worth the clean-up. You know how hard blood is to get out of suede."
"Johnny," the teenager's date pleaded, "leave them alone." She stared in terror at the expressions on the three pilot's faces. Quatre's steely eyes in his innocent face stared back, Wufei's dark glare promising pain on one side of him, and Trowa's blank, expressionless stare on the other.
"Why should I be afraid of these three scrawny kids?" Johnny scoffed.
Wufei's glare intensified. After a few moments, he sighed and shook his head. "Quatre's right. As much fun as it would be, it's not worth it." Turning to face the front of the theatre, he watched the credits roll by for a few moments before standing up. "Come on, let's go pick up Duo and Heero."
The other two pilots turned to Wufei. Quatre gave a nod and stood up, holding his empty popcorn bag and other trash. "Come on, Trowa. We'll rent this when it comes out in the stores."
Trowa gave a small nod and grabbed his brown suede jacket as he stood up.
The three pilots walked silently out of the theater, pausing so Quatre could throw his trash away. "Let's hurry," Quatre said, pulling Trowa towards the exit.
"What's going on?" Wufei asked as the three stopped and Quatre pretended to be engrossed in a movie poster.
"We're going to find out Mr. Johnny's license plate number," Quatre replied with a wicked grin.
"Have something in mind?" Trowa asked.
"Just general mayhem," Quatre muttered as the pilots sauntered after Johnny and his date. "Unpaid tickets, warrants for public indecency, maybe have a few cases of meat by-products delivered, things like that." Quatre shrugged before continuing, "Anything we can think of."
"Heero and Duo might want to help," Trowa pointed out.
Wufei shuddered at the thought of Duo and Heero using thier devious minds against the unsuspecting teenager. "Isn't that a bit much?"
"He needs to be taught a lesson," Quatre said piously as he memorized the license plate of the car Johnny got into. "Okay, let's go get Duo and Heero."
Wufei fished the car keys out of his pocket and lead the other two pilots to their transportation.
End... of this story anyway
More notes: As I was typing this in from the pages I wrote it on, I saw that some the points brought up by the guys here are also in the trailers for 'Scary Movie', which I haven't seen. So, this wasn't inspired by that movie. In fact, I have no idea why they're watching a horror movie (Except, maybe, the thought of killer deer make me giggle...).
Some of the comments may be out of character, but I thought about it. We don't really see the pilots in anything but a tense battle situation (If we do, it's very rare), so it's possible they'd react like this if it's something 'normal'.
I'm thinking of continuing these stories and turning them into a series (I'm going to have to come up with a title... bah... hate titles) showing the pilots reacting to everyday situation. Matters if/when inspiration hits me... These are fun though <g>.