I blame this *totally* on my friend comet. She poked and prodded until I caved. Of course, now that I caved on this story, she's going to become unmanageable on the 9 *other* stories I'm working on.

This is a direct sequel of 'Modus Operandi'. If you haven't read it, you probably won't understand this (Even though, <shrug> You never know!). You can get 'Modus Operandi' from my fiction page: http://www.millenicom.com/nagisa/ninsfic/ or, I can email it to you privately if you don't have web access.

Some of the conversation Duo and Heero have was actually written by comet (See, she won't let me go! <wail>), and used with her permission.

Now, the last story was reader's choice if there was shonen ai content. This one... Well, it's definitely shonen ai... Also, I find it *way* too easy to write banter between Duo and Heero.

Pairings: 1+2/2+1

Warnings: Probably not for Relena-likers. It doesn't put her in the best of lights... Also, contains light shonen ai.

Archive: Unless you have previous permission, please ask. Will also be on my site (see URL above, or in sig).

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters portrayed in this story. No money was made from this, and this was done totally for fun.

=====
What A Way To Go
by Ninjababe <nagisa@millenicom.com>
=====

"Relena-sama, why don't we get something to eat?" Duo asked, spotting the food court.

Heero glared at the American, wondering why he was trying to prolong the torture.

Duo winked in reply, giving him a look that said 'trust me'.

"Yes, I think I would," Relena said with a regal nod, still holding Heero's arm in a death grip.

After finding an empty, semi-clean table, Duo waved to the seat. "If you'd sit down, we'll go get some food."

Relena cocked her head to one side for a moment, then let go of Heero's arm and sat down, her hands demurely in her lap.

"Come on, Heero, let's eat!" Duo said, grabbing the Japanese pilot's hand and pulling him away from the table Relena was sitting at.

Heero gave the hand grasping his a squeeze, causing the American to give a brief, blinding smile over his shoulder. "Now what?" Heero asked as they got in line for one of the fast food restaurant.

"We get some food. You know I don't lie," Duo replied, looking innocent.

"And then?"

"We run like the wind."

Heero's smirk widened into a rare, broad smile when Duo added, "Trampled by an elephant."

After getting their food to go, Heero lead the other pilot to the exit of the food court.

"HEEEEROOOO!!"

"Hell, I thought we'd at least get out of sight," Heero grumbled.

"Not a chance, she's been watching you like a hawk," Duo replied, munching on a fry as the two ran for cover. "Toy store?" the braided pilot asked as they hid behind a large plant and munched on their food.

"With you along? Too obvious," Heero replied. The two held their breath as Relena stalked by, a determined look on her face as she looked around.

"Women's clothing?"

"Hn."

"Hey, it was just an idea," Duo protested. "Plus, we could always string her up with a pair of those nylons."

Heero snorted, "Not painful enough."

"The hardware store?"

"Hardware?" Heero asked wistfully, a deadly gleam in his eye as he thought about saws, sledgehammers, and other items of destruction found in common hardware stores.

Duo shook his head. "Hmmm... maybe that's too much of a temptation... I know! Shoe store!"

"Shoes?" Heero asked incredulously.

Nodding emphatically, Duo jumped up and started to hurry to the nearest map. "We'll use aerosol cans of shoe shine as flame throwers if she gets too close. I knew carrying two lighters would be useful!" Making a slight detour to throw his trash away, the American pilot searched the map. "Here we go! There's one nearby. And, it's your turn."

"My turn?" Heero asked, perplexed before he remembered they're ongoing game. "I'll think about it. And, why are we hiding from her?"

Duo just gave the other man a 'you are crazy, aren't you?' look.

"I think we should follow *her* around. See it as a surveillance exercise."

"You're determined to make us work, aren't you?" Duo asked with a glare.

Heero glared back, and they stood there for a few moments, having a glaring contest. Finally, Duo sighed and blinked. "All right, you win." Giving one of his maniacal grins, he added, "Besides, it might be fun. Too bad I don't have a trenchcoat and dark glasses."

"Baka," Heero replied affectionately. "Quicksand."

"Damn, you win again!" Duo whined as the two went off to stalk Relena.

=====
End