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How Long Must I Wait?
A Gundam Wing fanfic by Niki-chan
nikichan@chichiri.com
http://members.dencity.com/wildwing/
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"Heero, you suck."

Duo sighed self-pitiously, but then resumed glaring at the chair. It didn't help much, though. Heero was _not_ there sitting on the chair, in front of that damned laptop.

The laptop was gone. The desk was empty. Heero was gone.

And it was all Duo's fault.

<Why did I do that?! You damn fool!> Duo accused himself mentally, wishing that somehow he could erase all what happened the night before.

"Dammit!" he cried, slamming his fist on the bed, but not infliction any physical pain on himself. Inside, however, of him was in turmoil and aching. "Heero, you wuss. At least you could've said good-bye!" Then Duo scoffed at the last sentence he said aloud.

A good-bye? Was that all he wanted? Hell no? He wanted more...

He wanted Heero...

Duo lusted after his psycho partner for months, but never did Heero show towards him a hint of affection. All he got was an icy-cold death glare and Heero's favorite line.

"Nothing more than partners," Duo whispered bitterly, chewing out each word. Grabbing a box of soft milk chocolate-filled Koala biscuits, which stood on the nightstand beside his bed, Duo let out his distress with an anguished cry and flung the box at the chair. He didn't give a damn when all the contents inside scattered all over the place.

His face suddenly softened for a mere second, as a memory crossed his mind. Duo remember a time when he tried to get Heero to eat some of that stuff, and was promptly shutted up when Heero finally got annoyed. The old smiled flickered onto Duo's face, but was quickly replaced by a bitter frown.

He was alone again, wasn't he?

He lost his family, then his friends, then the Maxwell Church, and now the one he loved the most.

<After all that time, Heero, when I tried to keep you alive so I wouldn't lose you, you just run away from me!> Burning Moisture finally collected on Duo's long eyelashes, but they were immediately blinked away. <Boys don't cry,> he reminded himself. But he couldn't help it but to feel like crying, at least, after the mistake he did the night before.

-~-~-~-

*flashback*

Duo giggled with Quatre in a strange, high-pitched voice as he latched himself on Heero's arm. Quatre did the same with the Heavyarm's pilot. Wufei had done the right choice and retired to his bed with a snort, predicting this would happen. The Chinese pilot did _not_ want to clean the mess the American and Arabic boys were bound to create. Wufei's predictions were always right...

Yep, it was one helluva mess out there.

Scattered whiskey bottles, stripped clothes the belonged to Quatre and Duo, and some unindentified objects.

Of course, Heero and Trowa was _far_ from drunk, but they stayed for their own reasons. It was obvious Trowa stayed for Quatre's sake, and secretly, he wouldn't miss the chance of seeing him strip. But Heero... Why did Heero stay? Duo pondered on that for a moment, and then let hope overcome him.

And because Duo lacked common sense in the beginning, his entire mind being fogged up because of the alcohol was completely devoid of any precautions. He was determined to find out if his theories were true.

When Trowa finally saw that Quatre was getting out of control, he dragged him up to their bedroom. Watching them go up the stairs, Heero turned to Duo and glared at him expectantly. Duo just gave him a grin. Heero let out a huff and proceded to drag the braided American up the stairs, while the American himself had a mischevious look plastered on his face.

Once Heero dropped Duo on the bed, he felt arms entwined around him and pull him in a warm embrace. It was obviously none but other than a drunk Duo.

Duo let out a out-of-character giggle as he felt Heero's body fall on top of him. Lustful images from dreams he had every night flashed through his mind as he tightened the grip.

Duo purred, "Comfy, Heero?"

Heero struggled a little, but not enough to mean it, Duo had noted. With a little smirk, Duo let his hands travel up and cup the back of Heero's skull, lowering the Wing's pilot lips down to his own.

Electricity shot through Duo's body as he felt the soft, unbelievably sweet lips press against his own. /This/ was what he was waiting for so long. Letting his desires take over him, Duo let his tongue trace Heero's upper lip, and then plunge into Heero's mouth. It wasn't long until Heero actually took part in this exploration and tangle with Duo's tongue.

Duo, after a while, began to somber up, however, and he felt Heero's back suddenly stiffen. Both of the two boys broke away at the same time, panting and secretly wished for more.

Duo finally had a little common sense kick back, sat up and frantically thought, <Oh, God, oh God, he's gonna find out and he's gonna hate me for it.> He squeezed his eyes shut for at least _some_ sort of an attack.

Heero's face wasn't glaring, though, Duo knew that. It was soft and imploring, confused of just what happened. Duo swallowed hard. <God, he's beautiful. I've never seen him look that way.>

"Why, did you do that?" Duo knew what he was asking.

"Because..." Duo tried to say it, but couldn't bring himself to. "Just for the fun of it, Heero, nothing serious..." He let a lopsided grin cover his face, and fell back onto the bed. He promptly fell asleep because of the alcohol.

Of course, it was too dark for Duo to see Heero's face. His face had showed a little hope, but when Duo spoke his answer, Heero's face promptly fell and then hardened into the same old face.

*end flashback*

-~-~-~-

<I should've told him.... I should've told him it... I should've told him that I loved him.> Duo's eyes smarted, and the focus on the chair got all blurry.

//Do you, Duo?//

<Of course I do!>

//After what he did to you?//

<..........>

//Do you actually think he feels the same way towards you?//

<Shut up... SHUT UP!>

Duo squeezed his eyes shut, trembling. He didn't feel the tear that managed to squeeze through....

 

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"Du~~~ooooo!"

Duo shot up straight at the sound of the slightly girly-sounding voice that called him awake.

<I...I must've fallen asleep!>

Trying his best to supress his devastated state, he plastered the best, morning grin he could and open the door. Before him stood Quatre, and him being a morning person and all, had his sweet little smile.

Yep, both boys were supposedly morning people, or conversational people, nevertheless, but Duo just didn't feel that way today.

Quatre remarked, "You sure slept late! You look like a mess, Duo!"

Duo shrugged and widened his grin. "I don't know /how/ you manage to wake up this early after that drinking contest we had last night." Suddenly, the mention of last night clouded his cheerful face for a split second. Concern and an undecipherable emotion crossed his face. He bowed his head so his long bangs could cover his face."By the way, where did Heero go?"

"He went on a solo mission. He should be back by Monday..." Quatre's voice trailed off as he glanced at Duo.

But Duo looked back up with a bright face. "A~nyways, I'm starving! Let's eat! I wonder where Wu is, too," he added. He grabbed Quatre's hand and dragged him down the hall to the school's cafeteria.

"But, Du~o! I already ate!..."

 

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"-And then Miki asked me out, but of course I said no and said that I was already interested in someone else, which *cough* you all know that isn't true right?"

Quatre had a skeptical look on his face. Wufei rolled his eyes. Duo narrowed his eyes and continued.

"A~nyways, I can't believe Heero left without telling me, I mean, I am his roommate and partner and all! We're all teammates, ya know? And here he goes, thinking that he can handle everything himself. He's _got_ to drop that 'Perfect Soldier' thing, ya know? Nobody's perfect, ya know, and-"

Quatre just kept on smiling and nodding. Wufei snorted and rolled his eyes again, used to listening to Duo's morning babble. And that last comment, 'Nobody's perfect'??!! Stupid American mottos. Did Duo forget Heero was JAPANESE? Those Japanese people STRIVED to be perfect! Yeah, he had to hand it to those Japanese-heeeey, wasn't it the Japanese that massacred and raped the Chinese people ruthlessly during World War II? Wufei narrowed his eyes and started to drift off in his own, babbling thoughts.

Quatre, on the other hand, spotted a tall, brown-haired pilot with a unique bang enter the cafeteria. While Duo kept on complaining about Heero, Quatre kept his focus on Trowa. He stuck his hand out and started to wave madly, signalling Trowa to sit there. So he did. (How creative.)

The American did shut up... for a while to contemplate on the comment he said about Heero not being perfect. <Not perfect my ass! How could anybody _not_ be perfect with a face, body and ass like Heero's? And those eyes...> Duo found himself daydreaming about Heero again and cursed himself, scolding himself for acting like a love-sick schoolgirl.

//But you are hopelessly lovesick.//

<You shut up.>

//Why won't you just give up on him?//

<No way, I love him! Duo Maxwell never gives up!>

//But does he love you?//

<........>

Scrambling up, Duo started to gather himself up and head for the door. Trowa and Quatre looked confused at Duo's sudden change of mood.

Concerned, Quatre questioned, "Duo? Something wrong?"

"Oh-eh... Lost the time~! Eh heh, got to get to my next class! See you around later!" And with that, Duo bolted for the exit. He did _not_ want anyone else around him, and who knows, maybe Duo might get another emotional break-down. But Duo felt so mislead and confused that he really didn't know why he was leaving.

Quatre and Trowa both looked at each other simultaneously.

Trowa confirmed, "It's Saturday. There are no classes."

"NATAKU~~~! JU~~STICE!"

Everyone turned to see the sudden outburst from the Chinese boy, which was obviously the result of pondering too long on the subject of the Chinese people being massacred by the Japanese during World War II.

"Hey, look, Wufei, ya know, there's this really nice place with padded walls you might be interested in visiting..."

 

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Duo flopped on the bed and stared at the ceiling. Ah, the good ol' ceiling. The only thing he could stare at when Heero was on his solo missions. But this time... this mission... Heero used it as an excuse to...

Someone knocked rudely on the door.

"Go away!" Duo yelled.

"Maxwell. Let me in."

Duo grumbled and slid off the bed, trudging toward the door. He really wanted this time to sort out his feelings. He swung the dooropen to a door, not too surprised to see Wufei, after all, he always refered to Duo with his last name.

"You could've at least said please," Duo added as he made way for Wufei. Wufei stood right infront the desk that Heero had sat so many times at. Duo admitted wistfully that he wished Heero was sitting there at the moment.

"You have problems, Maxwell."

Duo snickered. "Don't need to be so blunt, Wu!"

"You know I meant the other way," Wufei replied. He shrugged, though. "But we all know you had serious problems in the beginning," he added in a joking tone. Duo knew he was joking. Wufei was like a brother to him, and just like Quatre, had to sit through all Duo's ranting a lot. A hell lot.

There then was a long pause.

"Well?" Wufei prodded.

"I.." Duo looked away. "...don't wanna talk about it right now."

Wufei nodded. He understood. He knew when to ask and when not to. "Well, then. Tell me when you want to talk." With his back turned and heading out, he flipped a signal of goodbye.

<That was ackward,> Duo remarked to himself. But Wufei never felt ackward... Chinese people were like that. He shook his head. Especially those Chinese women... (Niki: Especially my mom!) (Reis: Damn right!)

 

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Duo, of course, never talked. He smiled. He laughed. He played jokes. He annoyed the hell out of the other Gundam pilots (he fingerpainted on the Shenlong, too). He acted... normal.

But Duo was far from normal. He was in turmoil and in despair. He wanted Heero badly... all those grins and laughs were far from real. Monday slowly came by and Duo waited by the window in his dorm for almost all morning.

Nothing.

<Maybe he's coming this evening!> Duo thought to himself, with just a tinge bit of hope as he stared at the classroom door, as if he was waiting for someone to burst through the door or something like that.

//Quatre said he'd be back by the morning.//

<You shut up.>

School ended in hours, but it felt like years to Duo. Despite his distress, Duo covered everything with a smile... again, but with little slips of his usual cheerful mood.

Duo slammed the door shut behind him as he entered his and Heero's room.

No... body...

Duo let out a sigh and leaned against the wall, sagging to theground. He barely walked to the window and sat on the sill for hours. He stared into the night and into the dark emptiness with a dull look on his face.

Heero wasn't there yet.

//Well, duh, you thought he'd come back? //

<Well...>

//There's no point in waiting, god damn it! How long ARE you going to sit here?! He probably went to Relena.//

Even the discouraging voice in Duo's head began to sound bitter, especially when it said the last word.

Duo squeezed his eyes shut. <Damn it, Heero...>

//She loves him, you know...//

<I... do too..>

//Yeah, but does Heero love you?//

Duo suddenly shivered and wrapped his arms around him, leaned back. He let out a soft sigh.. no... no tears...

Duo let himself close his eyes, and promptly fell asleep.

He didn't know that there was tears streaming down his face while he was sleeping.

 

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"Maxwell, GET UP!"

Duo fluttered his eyes up to see a pissed off Wufei and a concerned Quatre looking down on him.

He discovered a sore butt, too.

"You left the damn door unlocked!" Wufei rambled on. "You and your carelessness! And here we find you, half sleeping on the window and half sleeping on the floor! Stupid Americans," he muttered.

"Good morning to you, too, Wu." Duo got to his feet slowly and looked around. Still no Heero.

Quatre looked concerned. "Are you alright, Duo? You hurt or anything? And Heero's not back yet."

<Yeah, I've noticed that, too,> Duo replied in his mind. "I'm fine~!" Duo chirped, "Beside the fact that I probably look like hell, my ass hurts, and worst of all, my hair's messed up, just peachy!"

Wufei shrugged. "He's fine, let's go."

"Hey-hey-hey! Wait for me! I have to get dressed and brush my hair! HEY~!"

 

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[Two Days Later]

Duo was in his room, obviously not doing his homework. He hated homework. There was no justice in doing that! So all Duo was flipping through a comic book and had the stereo on. For once. When Heero was there he couldn't even-

No, he was NOT going to mention that name.

He barely heard a knock on the door through the loud music, but he heard it, so he rushed to it and swung it open eagerly... just hoping...

It was Quatre.

Even though Duo was thoroughly disappointed, he mustered up a pretty good smile.

"Hey Quatre, my man!" Duo greeted mirthfully. He noticed that Quatre looked pretty uncomfortable.

"Umm, Duo?" Quatre said, finding good interest in his hands. "I got some news for you. Trowa found out and told me that...."

"Thaaat what? You guys getting married?"

Blushing bright red, Quatre looked up in embarrassment. "D-duo~! O-of course not!" Quatre then coughed and rushed what he had to say all out less than three seconds. "He told me that Heero has headed for the Sank Kingdom and isn't coming back!"

It sounded as if Quatre spoke in slow motion for Duo, though.

//Heero has headed...//

//For the Sank Kingdom...//

//Where Relena is...//

//And isn't coming back...//

Quatre peered into Duo's empty eyes curiously, but then was surprised to see them be animated again, but there barely a sad gleam in those violet eyes.

"Really? Oh, that's cool! That means more room and freedom for me!" Duo exclaimed, his voice a bit strained. "Didn't see how that was so hard to say, Quatre!"

Quatre was appalled. Here he was, worried that Duo might have some sort of break-down, but Duo had taken it quite well... Except for the fact that Quatre knew Duo didn't take it well. He wasn't stupid. That sad gleam and that strained voice did _not_ go unnoticed.

Quatre laid his hand on Duo shoulders and whispered to him in a soothing tone, "Duo... it's okay..."

Duo wasn't a bit surprised. Immediately, he bursted into a tearless sob. "No..i-it's not..." he managed to gasp out. Quatre gathered him up in a comforting embrace and they both said nothing as they somehow sat down on the bed. (Nothin' else happened.)

 

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[Two months later]

Duo laid back on his soft bed in the new dorm of the new school they switched to. He glanced at the farthest side of the room and still could not see Wufei. Wufei, of course, slept on the floor.

"The bed's too soft," Duo mimicked.

A voice droned, "Nataku...."

Duo rolled his eyes. He shifted to his left and began to drift off into his own thoughts again. He, before, rarely thought, but now that Heero was gone, Duo had nothing else to do. Homework didn't count.

<Damn you, Heero, why didn't you track me down??> Duo seethed. <Did I mean that little to you? So you wouldn't care if I died, would you? Well, fuck you too.> Duo contemplated on that last sentence. <I sure would like too, actually.>

And then Duo drifted off to his happy little dreams, where Heero was THERE, just handcuffed... and there was whipped cream in the dream, too.

 

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[Couple of days later... just one lucky day...]

Duo, yes Duo again, was dodging herds of rushing people on everywhere. All he wanted was to go shopping, and here was people barging into him. A lot of them had been able to accidently elbow him on the ribs, and some lucky, perverted bastard actually FONDLED his ass... for a second until Duo had socked the moron in the stomach. That was reserved for HEERO and HEERO only, he had resolved.

Some idiot again bumped into him quite rudely, and it sent him tripping and falling into other pedestrians.

"Hey, watch it, you bastard!" Duo shouted out.

A muffled, "Hn" was the only reply. It was quiet, but Duo reconized it a mile away.

"HEERO~!"

Duo immediately spotted him and rushed towards him, waving frantically. He hadn't realized that he would miss Heero /that/ much. He called out again a couple more times, but Heero wouldn't answer.

Heero did NOTHING.

And Duo was devastated.. and mad, not to mention that.

 

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[ANOTHER couple more days-Duo is still raving about that incident]

"And he didn't even say hi~!" Duo muttered before falling asleep. Wufei heard that and rolled his eyes. Stupid long-haired idiot. When would he ever shut up? But, of course, none of them did not know what happened that day, and didn't know the rejection Duo had faced. Wufei then promptly fell asleep, with happy thoughts of Meiran in mind.

Even though Duo was asleep, he was restless. He thrashed in
his sleep as if something was coming near...

 

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Heero had no idea what to do. He finally found out that Duo was here. He heard Duo shout his name, but Heero just ignored it, because he was still in that confused state.

Where was he for the past months? Convincing Relena that he did NOT like her, that the OZ treaty was just a trap, and getting away from her. He sighed. He also spent the time deciding about his feelings over the braided pilot and running away from him. But now, after hearing Duo call to him, he didn't realize how much he had missed that idiot.

//Why did you think he always made you feel warm when you were around him, then?//

Heero looked away. He had finally agreed to the voice inside his head. Before, all he said was that Duo was just a distraction, but now Heero knew that he needed Duo...

So that was why he was in his room.

Heero snorted to himself. It wasn't too hard to get it, actually. All he had to do was twist the doorknob. Duo was really careless, y'know?

Duo was so quiet in his sleep. Heero smiled--well, actually only a smirk made it--and appreciated the beauty that laid before him.

And suddenly Duo's eyes popped open.

Heero sprang back, shocked. <How the hell...?>

"H-heero?" The soft voice questioned, but then hardened into anger. "I knew you were here. Why did you all of a sudden came?"

Heero replied icily, "You know why." He sat down on Duo's bed.

"No I don't, now go away!" Duo made an attempt to push Heero off his bed, but Heero caught his wrists.

Heero said dispassionately, but his eyes showed actually for once much emotion, "This is why, then." Pulling the reluctant Duo close to him quickly, he placed his mouth over Duo's and kissed him passionately. Soon, he pulled away and placed two fingers over Duo's swollen lips while gathering him up for a warm embrace. "Do you know why now?"

Duo didn't say anything, for once (omg!) and nuzzled deeper
into the hug and rubbed his cheek against Heero's chest, feeling the
muscles under the green tank top.

"I never did tell you that I loved you, did I?" Duo remarked quietly. He felt Heero stiffen and he let out a sigh. Rejection.... again.

Heero didn't say anything, and he didn't need too. All he did was lift up Duo's face and tip it forward for another intimate lip-lock. They didn't hear the rustle over the other side of the room.

"AHEM... Could you two take this somewhere else?"

 

 

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^____________^ My first GW fanfic! WHEE!

Yes, I know it sucked, but it's my first! XD Finished it in two days!! Oh, and the person that was rustling at the other side of the room in the end was Wufei, if you haven't read this fic carefully enough.

Send all C&C at nikichan@chichiri.com