by ~*~Nataly~*~

pairing: 2x1 and 4x3 suggested
warnings: angsty, sap, shonen ai and a little yaoi
archive: dhml((of course!)) and if anyone else wants it email me first ^_^

**I DO NOT OWN THE GUNDAM PILOTS! they belong to ((very lucky)) people in Japan! this is something i made up**


Quatre sadly stared at the once strong, determined Heero Yuy who sat across from him at the dinner table. His demeanor had drastically changed ever since his koi was harshly taken from him during a battle, and the blonde Arabian felt for him. Beside him sat Trowa, also noting Heero's disposition on this night, the two month anniversary of Duo's death.

"Gomen." Quatre whispered to Heero's direction. His words reaching deaf ears. His thoughts blocking out all communication possible. He only came here tonight to make an appearance. Trowa placed a soothing hand on Quatre's leg as a comfort, knowing that the now not so perfect soldier would not be replying to the apology. Heero stood up, his eyelids shut, taking in deep breaths, hands clutching the end of the table Get it together, Yuy, he cursed himself through clenched teeth. He slowly turned and walked towards the bathroom, knowing that the one thing he needed right now was isolation. Seeing his co-workers and friends was too much at this moment. It was the first time he had seen them since "it" happened, and just looking into Quatre's face brought back memories of white hospital rooms and sadness. His blood soaked hand after carrying Duo into the emergency room, part of his koi's chest ripped open, the skin, on the left side of his stomach, peeled back like an orange. No, this was not a good idea. He should have been in home, in bed, asleep. He knew he was deteriorating, never had he been so weak, so useless, so tired, he invited death. There was nothing left to fight for. It would be too easy to kill himself, and if it weren't for the fact that Duo made him promise him that he'd never resort to suicide, he would be six feet under, by now, for sure.

He gripped the round gold handle leading into Quatre's oversized bathroom and locked the door behind him. The white tiled floor was spotless and actually shined in the light from the miniature chandelier hanging in the middle of the room. The bath was the type of baths that stood on its four gold feet. The gold feet matching the gold wallpaper with silver pillars at the bottom. This was a royal bathroom. White, gold, silver. Only the best for Quatre. He sighed and sat down, his back against the wall. He knocked the back of his head into the wall with a thump. Raising his hands to his eyes, he wiped the beginnings of tears that were forming at the sides, "so weak." he mumbled, cursing his lack of strength.

"Heero Yuy! Pull yourself together!" Announced a voice in front of him. He removed his hands slowly and looked up. If this had happened a few months prior he would have shot the person in front of him and laughed.

"D-Duo?" He squinted his eyes, and peered at the boy in front of him, his familiar long braid trailing over his shoulder, sweet soft skin still present, like he was alive and well.

The Shinigami nodded, smiling. "Heero," he kneeled before him. "Stop all this nonsense," he placed a hand on his shoulder in reassurance. So real. Heero kept rubbing his eyes and blinking.

"This isn't happening, you're.dead." He almost choked the last word.

"Yeah, so? Can't I check up on my koi every now and then, hmm?" He grinned and winked at him playfully.

"Stop that!" Heero closed his eyes tight, holding back the tears that were straining to give way.

Duo frowned, "Stop what, Hee-chan?"

Heero flared his eyes open and snarled, "Being YOU! You are dead! Do you hear me? Gone! You left me! Now stop fucking with my mind!" It was too late to stop the tears now, they were already sliding down his face in rapid streams.

The braided boy stood up and dejectedly looked down at the curled up mess that was left of his beloved, "If that is what you want." He sighed. "I came here to tell you something, but if you don't want to know, then fine!" He whistled, knowing Heero's curiosity would get the better of him.

"What? But don't I already know, seeing how you're," he took a deep breath, "a figment of my imagination?!" He replied quickly, spitting the last word by raising his voice louder.

"Well, it's nice to see you're still as stubborn as before!" The baka giggled, and threw his braid over his shoulder to kneel in front of Heero again.

"Leave me alone," the defeated pilot mumbled pulling his knees to his chest and looking away.

"Heero, Heero, Heero," laughed Duo, "Do you really think I came all this way to leave you alone? Do you know how hard it was to be able to come down and see you?"

"No, and I don't care. You're not real. Even if you were some sort of angel, you would have wings, and I don't see any wings coming out of your back!" He replied, his head still turned away.

"So cliché!" Duo giggled, "Been reading my Angel Sanctuary mangas again, Hee-Hee?"

"Shut up," he lowered his voice, "maybe." Without even thinking about it, the weary pilot gathered all his strength and lunged himself at the image in front of him, embracing the so-called figment of his imagination.

"Whoa, buddy," Duo grinned, wrapping his arms around his companion who's grip was getting tighter by the second causing them both to plummet to the floor.

"I want you to be real, Duo, I really do," he choked back sobs that he couldn't control.

"Shh," the Shinigami cooed, stroking the back of his head. "I'm here now. I'm here to tell you to stop crying over me."

"Hn," the pilot closed his eyes against Duo's shoulder, his forehead grazing the cool tile.

"I'm better now, Heero," he whispered, running his fingers up and down the sobbing boy's back. "My stomach is fine, no scars, I think I got off pretty good!" He laughed.

"Stop joking," Heero mumbled, still trying to hold back tears. Not willing to lose all of his dignity. Not yet.


The soldier sighed, "So, do you," he took a deep breath, easing the sobs to a halt, "miss me?"

"No, I don't, I'm glad that I'm not on earth anymore, I'm happy I'm not with you!" He laughed, then stopped when he saw the worry in the boy's eyes as he raised his head, "Of course I miss you, dummy!"


The pair lay in silence for a few moments, tangled legs, and Heero's nose nuzzling against Duo's receiving neck. Heero still wasn't sure what to believe, he was wondering if he was losing his mind, but he didn't care. He lifted his head and kissed Duo's awaiting lips softly, savouring the sweet taste, knowing that this might never happen again. His tongue slowly darted into the boy's ajar mouth and Heero enveloped his mouth with his own. The embrace lasted only a few moments before Heero broke away slowly and looked into Duo's violet eyes, "Please don't leave me, not again. Not after this."

A grin surfaced on Duo's mouth, "I'll always be with you Hee-chan, just not physically. These moments are rare, I was risking a lot staying with you this long."

"Risking?" Heero asked confused, as his koi nodded.

"Yes, plus Quatre is coming, tell the others I said hi," the braided boy grabbed Heero's head firmly and gave him one last harsh kiss, "Ja!" He winked and was gone.

"Heero!" yelled a voice from behind the door, it sounded like there was a fist banging against it. Heero looked up from the his crouched position against the wall, his head still hurting a little on the back, where he had bumped it as he sat down. He stood up and rubbed his head. "Coming!" He yelled and opened the door, "Why are you yelling?"

Quatre blinked a couple times, surprised at Heero's change of attitude. "We heard you screaming and you never opened the door."

Flashes of yelling at Duo in the bathroom dashed through his head, had he been dreaming it? He smiled, maybe not. "I'm fine, now." And he did feel fine, the melancholy had lifted and warmth took its place.

"Are you sure?" He looked straight at his dark eyes.

"Yeah, I'm fine." He grinned, "let's go eat."

Quatre followed him out of the hall and into the dining room again, Trowa looked up while Wufei continued to shove rice into his mouth. Heero sat down and Quatre glanced at Trowa shrugging his shoulders and looking confused.

"What was all the screaming about?" Wufei said nonchalantly while looking down at his plate, still shoving rice into his mouth like no tomorrow.

Heero blushed and grinned at his plate, "Duo says hi."

Quatre choked on rice and Trowa and Wufei were wearing looks of surprise, "Nani?" The blonde managed to get out, eyes still tearing from the choking episode.

"Nevermind," Heero replied still grinning, and looked across at the wall behind Wufei to see a glimpse of something or someone smiling at him, "it's just a figment of my imagination."