2-4-2001

...anou... this is my first fic... well, the first one I gonna send to yas anyway... I like ...'s they make me feel secure. Anyway, um, it is a deathfic *eeps* no, don't like them, and I don't usually write them, but this was the only thing I had even partway typed. So, um, enjoy the prolouge or part 1 or whatever the hell this is. It probably sucks. And even if you _do_ by some odd chance happen to like it, don't expect another part anytime soon. I'm very very lazy. and I write everything on paper before typing it, so that makes it take even longer. Oh I wish I had a laptop. Anywho, just read it. It's angsty, I guess...

 

 

A.C. 205

He sat on the edge of the bed and tried to ignore the painful tugging in his chest. It was always there. No matter how much he yelled or cried or tried to kick that same wall in.

The wall was getting awfully dented.

He breathed deep and long, getting the never-ending pain down to a tolerable level. Comparatively. The pain never went away and it was never truly tolerable. Although, he had come to appreciate the pain, in a twisted sort of way. It helped him deal with whatever that emotion was always hiding just slightly deeper than the pain. Was it loss? Despair? No, there wasn't a word for it, it was an emotion unique only to him, and no one else could possibly understand it. So he capped it over with the pain, and he was afraid that if he ever completely dispelled the pain, that wordless emotion might come overpoweringly and then there would be all there was of him. Like before, perhaps.

He squeezed his eyes shut and sighed. He got up off the bed and went over to a small desk, which was empty save two things; a small bottle of pills and an empty glass picture frame. He picked up the bottle, flipped the cap off and swallowed four pills dry. He knew they wouldn't help, they never had, and they never would. His body had been conditioned not to respond to mind altering chemicals, and anti-depressants were no different. He laughed emptily and looked at the pills cynically. "Well, they wouldn't help anyway" he mumbled to himself "I'm not depressed. They wouldn't stop what I'm feeling." Whatever it was, he knew it wasn't depression.

He wasn't even sure why he took the pills, except to keep them out in plain sight on the desk, which didn't explain the actual swallowing of them. He knew he was fishing for sypathy, but it wasn't as though he cared. Sometimes when people visited- which wasn't very often- they would see the little bottle and figure that they were anti-depressants. Usually they would stay quiet about it, thinking that he wouldn't want to talk about it. But other times they would ask what was bothering him and if there was anything they can do to help. Of course, there never was anything they could do to help, but at least he got to talk about *him.* Despite it all, he wanted to talk about him. He wanted to talk... And yell and scream and rant and go on and on for hours- But he already did that. Too bad there was no one to listen.

He looked at the little container; he had crushed it, and powder from inside the pills was spilling out into his hand. He threw the whole stupid thing across the room into a trash can. It wasn't like it mattered, if he really wanted to talk he could just see a psychiatrist.

All that was left on the desk now was the small glass frame. He picked it up and flipped it over, then carefully undid the clasps in the back, sliding the metal tabs over felt. He opened it up, then he flipped the piture inside so it faced the front, the frame being not so empty after all. After replacing the back, he turned the little glass thing over and stared down at the face looking up at him. He traced down the over-long bangs with his fingers, wishing that he could once again run them through the silky brown strands, then trailed a finger down one cheek, wishing he could touch that face again.

The evening sun slanted through the window and caught the frame, to refract and send tiny rainbows dancing over his walls. They seemed so out of place... He hated them.

All at once he got angry at the picture. There was no reason to, the picture hadn't done anything, but it seemed more real than getting mad at walls or rainbows. He laughed for the second time that day, harshly. "It's all your fault you know" He told the picture. "It's all your damn fault" He gripped the sides of the small frame and squeezed hard, he felt the sharp pain of the glass as it splintered in his strong grip and dug into his hands, causing the viscous red liquid that flowed beneath his skin to break free and run down his hands and arms and drip onto the floor. And when he heard the tinkling of glass against the hardwood floor he lost it, remembering the day this hell bagan.

He hurled the frame into the wall two feet away from where he was standing "DAMN YOU!!" he screamed as thousands of tiny glass splinters cruelly lodged hemselves in every exposed part of his body. "Damn you!" He said again, then slumped against the wall, driving them deeper, and slid to the floor, leaving tiny red streaks down the crisp white paint. He put his face and sobbed "Damn you..." He whispered through his grief "The second restriction... You did it. I knew you would..."

 

AC 200

"How many of these things are we going to go to?"

"Aw c'mon Heero, what's so bad about high school reunions?"

"There are better things we could be doing" Heero said with raised eyebrows.

Duo could barely contain a gleefull giggle at that "Alright, you just talked me out of going to anymore, but we've gotta go to this one! Please? I mean this is the place we finished school at after the war, and I knew so many people here, it was the longest we'd ever stayed at a particular school! C'mon, for me?"

"Hn. Okay."

Duo sweatdropped at his koi's lack of conversational skills, but he was happy. He figited for a while and straightened out his tux. It was black, of course. It had been a pretty snobbish private school, so naturally formal attire was required for all attendees of the reunion.

Heero looked over at Duo, who looked like he now couldn't wait for the event to be over, and it hadn't even started yet. In fact they hadn't even gotten there. The promise of greater things was a good motivaional tool, he decided. He was glad he wouldn't have to sit though anymore of these things.

When they got to the school, he parked the black convertible corvette[1] in a space as far away from the other cars as possible. It was suprising how little a war hero had to do to get cool stuff. Duo jumped out of it without bothering to open the door, then smothed out his tux, and made sure his hair was plaited neatly, before helping Heero brush off his suit, 'inadvertently' brushing a few more places than were neccassary. He snickered and sauntered up to the main door. They gotten there a bit late, so they were alone in the parking lot and had no audience, but Heero nearly sweatdropped at the public display of affection anyway, and followed the braided man to the door.

No sooner had they entered the building than:

"Oi! Maxwell-san, Over here!"

Duo's face lit up at the sight of his old friends and jogged over to join them, but about halfway there, he noticed that his koi wasn't with him, so he turned around, jogged back, grabbed Heero by the arm, and dragged him towards the crowd.

"Omae o korosu" Heero muttered.

"Oh, I bet you say that to all the guys" Duo cooed and pretended to blush.

As they reached the massive crowd of people, Duo let go of Heero's arm, bowed low and announced dramatically "The great Duo Maxwell has arrived!"

Laughter exploded from just about everyone except Heero, who glared sullenly.

"Hey Maxwell, how come you never told us you were the pilot of one of those Gundams?" asked one of the guys near him.

"Yeah! I was watching the news in collage one day and you were there on TV in some parade, and I was like 'Holy shit! That's Duo-kun!!'" Shouted another man from across the crowd.

"I guess I just didn't want the girls to fall all over me even more than they did!" Duo said as a joke, although he did mean it to some extent. This got people laughing even harder. Duo was in his element.

"In that case" said a girl in a short glittery red dress next to Duo "are you doing anything this friday?"

"Iie, Megumi-chan, I regret to inform you that I am currently involved with someone, and plan to be for a very long time. With this same person, of course." Disheartened sighs came from most of the female population. Glancing at his koi, who looked very good in his tuxedo, Heero couldn't say he blamed them for wanting him. It didn't mean he had to like it.

"What's she like? Do the rest of us girls have a chance?"

Duo sighed, he liked girls well enough, but he could barely supress a shudder at the thought of actually being with one romantically. "Anou, she's got silky dark brown, almost black, hair, a great chest-" Some of the guys laughed and the gilrs looked mildly insulted. *Oh yeah, they all think I'm talking about a girl...whoops. oh well, they'll get over it.* "-and the most amazing prussian blue eyes you'll ever see." He looked over at the owner of those eyes and pulled him over to stand next to him "And speaking of people I know, this is my buddy, Heero Yuy! He was in the war too, a fellow Gundam pilot, and he went to school here with us, but you probably never noticed him 'cause he's so quiet."

"Konban wa."

There was the sound (or lack thereof) of mass sweatdroppage. Being one of the first to recover, Megumi looked Heero up and down "He's pretty cute too, is _he_ doing anything this friday?" She said, laughingly.

*I agree, he is cute* "No, he too is currently in a relationship. Um, and actually, he's my girlfriend's niisan" He said, to get the focus off Heero's supposed girlfriend. He was starting to get jelous.

"Well that explains why your description before sounded so much like him." commented Megumi.

"Yes, well, family resmblence and all..." Duo thanked whatever diety that might be listening that he had said that, they might have figured out he actually _had_ been talking about Heero.

Just then, their old class president, a snobby, stuffy rich boy, walked up to a podium on a small stage in the center of the room, and started droning on about how high school years were the best years of his life and oh how things have changed and on and on and on. Some people clapped at what was being said, but Duo and Heeo both tuned it out. Duo thought he may have heard something about him, Heero and the war, but he wasn't interested, as far as he was concerend, the war was five years behind and the only good it had ever done him was bring him to the love of his life... Okay, so it had done him a big favor there, but he felt he more than deserved it after having everyone _else_ in his life taken away from him. In any case, he was sick and tired of hearing about it, dammit! But at least the speeches kept off any further inquiries as to his love life.

After a whole bunch of people had made several boring repititous speeches that the two lovers paid nil attention to, there was a dinner, which consisted of everyone sitting at a huge banquet table and eating from a large buffet. Most of the guests wanted to sit next to or across from Duo which made him feel 1) disgustingly popular, and 2) like he was in grade school.

Naturally, he managed to work it out so that he was sitting next to Heero. Who, until this special effort was made, was feeling somewhat ignored. Not that he would admit it or anything. Neither of them cared who was sitting on the other side of them as long as they were quiet. However, despite their precautions, several nosey people managed to sit themselves within earshot of the them and continue to ask questions. They didn't have much luck with Heero, who refused to do anything but grunt impassively at any question they asked, but Duo, who was inwardly cursing his talkative nature, found that he had to answer every inquiry thrown his way.

Eventually people got the hint or got bored and drifted off to do their own thing. Leaving the two men alone. "Geez Heero! what's with these people? Why did I ever like them? When did they get so annoying?"

"I don't know"

"C'mon, I fanally get to talk to you, and all you can say is 'I don't know?'" Duo grinned, he didn't actually mind, he was used to his partner's silence by now.

"I guess"

Had he said he didn't mind? Usually he didn't, but this was just annoying. Then he grinned again. He knew how to make Heero speak! He mustered up his best Yuy-Glare-O'-Death, and said seriously "Omae o korosu"

Heero held up a hand and said somewhat melodramatically "After thinking about it for a very long time, I've come to a conclusion"

Duo stopped glaring and blinked "Huh?" Was Heero trying to joke with him?

"There are two things I won't let you do, one of them is use my trademark phrases."

"Heero! No fair!"

"It's only two things, I'm not trying to control your life here."

*Well, at least I got him to say _something_* Duo waited a while to see if Heero might want to give him any sort of clue as to what the second thing could be, and when he gave no indication that he was going to, the long haired man gave up "Okay, what's the second restriction?"[2]

"I'll tell you if you do it." In all reality, Heero, didn't actually mind if Duo used his phrases, but it amused him in a sort of wry way to say so, rather the only way he knew how to be amused. The other one was much more serious though.

Meanwhile, Duo was trying to figure out just what it could be. He thought of many things it _could_ be, but he had already done most of those things before, so it didn't seem like they would matter. Then he thought of something that vaugly seemed like it might be it.

He looked around and waited until there was absolutly no one watching. Everyone looked fairly occupied at the moment. Good. He grinned and leaned in very, very close to Heero's ear and spoke huskily in his best sexy voice, so his breath puffed out onto the sensitive skin "Could it be, Heero, that you don't want me to kiss you in public?" with that he flicked his tounge out and ran it over the curve of his koibito's ear, then planted a kiss on the sensitive spot right below the shell. Then he leaned quickly back in his chair and put his arms behind his head.

"Duo! Omae o korosu!" Heero stood up quickly, dragging Duo with him. He held the grinning man up by the collar and landed a solid punch to his midsection.[3] The grin dissappeared from Duo's face. He clutched his stomach and fell to his knees.

"Dammit Heero, itai!" he managed to choke out between gasps. He had had the wind knocked throughly out of him, and little black patches were dancing in front of his eyes. But Heero didn't hear, He was walking purposefully away from the scene, and Duo couldn't see where he had gone, due to the large number of people who had gotten out of their chairs and flocked around him when he fell.

"Duo! Are you okay?"

"Maybe you shouldn't hang out with that guy anymore"

"It's okay Duo, we're here for you..."

"What was his problem?"

He waved them back so he could breathe a bit "No, it's okay, he can't hurt me." He said a little defiantly, and laughed to conceal the tears that had collected in the corner of his eyes and had nothing to do with physical pain. It hurt to be puched by the one he loved. But he was a guy, he could handle it.

As Heero walked away he mentally smacked himself *Baka! What's wrong with you! Whay the hell did you do that? Duo's gonna hate you now!* He walked down a hallway, still so familiar from his days going to school here, turned, and opened a door to his left. The men's restroom. It was a single-room affair, the school was much to upper class for those inferior restrooms with stalls and the like. He grinned, remembering how he and Duo used to slip into the small room to make out between classes during their senior year, which was when they had first gotten together.

It was strange, really. He'd never thought he would ever have the time or good memories for nostalgia. Maybe things wouldn't be so bad, they'd been together this long without lasting problems. And it wasn't like they hadn't had their share of brawls when they were kids. He'd have to get Duo to punch him later. Then they'd be two for two.[4]

Back in the cafeteria or banquet room, or whatever it was(not like he cared) Duo had managed to politely beat back the fawning masses and sat at the table, picking at his food, not really eating anything. *I suppose I should go after him...* Quitely, he slipped away from the table, using his world-famous (literally, he supposed) stealth skills to get away without anyone knowing.

As soon as he got to a hallway he abandoned his light, quick, soundless movements for your everyday, average walk. It was easier, anyway. "Where did you go..." He mumbled more to himself than actually to Heero. As he passed the restroom, a hand shot out and grabbed his arm, pulling him in. "oof! hey!" He found himself pressed against a familair body, and looked up to see the deep blue eyes he'd been expecting "Oi! Heero, you can't just punch me like that and then expect me to cuddle up to you!"

Heero looked down at the ground "I know, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that. It was unprovoked."

*He apologized to me?! Weird! I like it...* "Damn straight!"

Heero, looked up, the corners of his mouth quirking "But, Duo, you know I'm not..."

Duo looked at him for a minute, then started chuckling "Heero! You made a joke. You're just full of surprises today, ne?" He socked his koi lightly on the arm "There. There's my repayment"

"And here's my compensation" Heero locked the door, then walked over to Duo and wrapped him in his arms. He then gently laid a kiss on his mouth. "Care to relive some of our high school days?"

"Ninmu Ryokai!!" Duo said enthusiastically.

"I said," Heero growled as he gently pushed Duo against one wall and started kissing him, "No using my trademark phrases"

"Well," Duo said between kissing and trying to pull Heero's jacket off "You also said no kissing in public, and this is pretty close"

"I never said that" he mumbled as they slid down the wall, unbuttoning eachother's shirts and sliding them off their shoulders. "You can kiss me anywhere you want."

"Oh really?" Duo cocked an eyebrow "How about here?" he said and began sucking at the base of Heero's neck."

"Especially there..." Heero slipped Duo's shirt down lower and ran a hand down his chest. Duo winced when his hand brushed over the bruise forming on his abdomen and he felt a surge of guilt. He brought his lover's face up to look at him "I am so sorry, I never should have hit you. Gomen nasai."

Duo smiled something between a soft smile and a grin "Well, if this sort of thing is gonna happen every time you hit me, you should do it more often. I mean- Aa!" He gasped as Heero started raining kisses all over his chest, neck and shoulders, then began to suck and nip at each of his nipples.

Heero almost (almost! _Didn't_, but almost...) giggled into Duo's chest. He was drunk on Duo, he decided. The wine at dinner probably hadn't helped much either. In any case, he was feeling pretty damn intoxicated. "Duo, you know what your problem is?"

The long haired man, on the other hand, did giggle a bit " I talk too much, I know." He slid his tounge across Heero's collarbone, kissing the bruise he had made earlier in apology, while the other dug hid fingers into his back, massaging it.

"How can I get you to shut up?" Heero asked, undoing his lover's chestnut braid and running his fingers through the sweat dampened, shining waves.

If possible, Duo melted further into Heero's arms "Hmmmm, let's think about that... Oo, that felt good! Do it again."

"This?" Heero ran a hand up the inside of Duo's thigh.

"Yeah, that. Hehe, not to be repetative, but..."

Heero oblidgingly did it again, then trailed his hand up a bit further, he took his other hand off Duo's ass and fumblingly tried to unzip his slacks.

"Heero, look up!"

"Huh- mmf" he looked up just on time to avoid Duo's lips connecting with his eyesball, instead, they connected with his own, and they shared a long, drawn out, passionate kiss. Heero's hand slid down the front of Duo's pants and he pushed him down onto the floor.

"Nnn, oh Heero... SHIT! that feels good..." Duo moaned.

Heero smirked and kissed him again, Duo tended to use a lot of ...colorful... words when they made love.

"Oh, fuck!"

*That didn't sound like Duo somehow...* But his mind was too fuzzy to do anything about it. "What is with you and swear words?"

"Literally." Observed a calm female voice, in reference to the profanity, at the same time, Duo said "It wasn't me!"

Both young men that lay sprawled out on the floor whipped their heads around towards the door to see a man they knew named Toshi standing with Megumi next to him. The couple managed to get off each other, but were having a bit of trouble standing. "Great job locking the door, Heero." Duo mumbled.

Megumi raised an eyebrow "We thought he was killing you, and Toshi can pick locks... so..."

"K-killing me! Why the hell did you think that?!?"

"You should've heard the noises you were making, and they were muffled by the door, so they probably sounded a bit different to us." She shrugged.

Duo sputtered.

Meanwhile, Toshi had gotten his wits together (what little he had of them) and called out down the hallway "Hey guys! C'mere, Maxwell's probing tounges with another- eep!"

Heero, his shirt still hanging off one shoulder, had managed to get himnself off the floor and was pointing a small gun at Toshi. Suddenly, ten or eleven guys came running up and gathered outside the door.

"Shitshitshitshitshitshitshit" Duo muttered as he picked himself up off the floor, zipped up his pants, and put his shirt back on. "Hey Heero, I think we should go now..."

"That guy's got a gun!" Yelled one of the guys outside the door, pointing.

"Yep, definatly, we should go. Now." Heero and Duo grabbed their jackets and ran past the throng of people, who were all too stunned to do anything. They sprinted down the hall and out a side door before anyone could even react. Except Megumi, who just stood there smiling so calmly Duo had to wonder if she was downers. More likely, she was just the only one with and IQ higher than 5. She always had been a sensible person, even when they were kids.

Duo laughed as they weaved through the cars in the parking lot over to their own "Well, I think that's the last reunion we'll be going to in a very long time." He paused "Anou, Heero, why do you still carry a gun?"

Heero opened the driver's side door and got in "The war may be over, but not everyone's happy with the results."

"Oh, I see, you're worried about psycopaths that resent us for winning, huh?"

Heero glanced out of the corner of his eye at Duo, who was jumping over the door into the passenger seat. "Can't you ever use the door?"

"It looks cooler the way, and it's more fun. But was I right about the reason for the gun?"

"I'm not worried." *for myself anyway*

"Ah, of course, the great Heero Yuy, not afraid of anything."

Heero simply didn't answer. Instead, he put the keys in the ignition and pulled out of the parking lot. He calculated different routes home, and came up with one that normally wouldn't have been his first choice. It was longer than some of the other by a fair bit, but it went past the ocean, and the sun was about to set. He knew Duo would love to see it, so he went that way. They drove alongside the ocean in a comfortable silence. Duo sighed happily, leaning on the edge of the car, watching the magnificent sunset, his unbound hair ruffling out behind him.

The warm, golden-orange sky shifted slowly to shades of rose and blush then to a deep crimson-red with streaks of amethyst, every color reflected off the surface of the deep endless waters, until the last sliver of the swollen orange sun had dissapeared off the ocean horizon, leaving a onyx blanket speckled with stars, and only a faint glow to the west to show it had ever been there.

Duo yawned and stretched, looking up at the stars, then a thought occured to him. He looked over at Heero, who looked almost relaxed. "Hey Heero, how come I never get to drive?"

Visions of twisted metal and panicked paramedics flitted through his head, but he said "Driving brings me pleasure."

"Surely not more pleasure than I bring you!" Duo said, batting his eyes.

Heero glance over at him, then looked back at the road and smiled a tiny bit "Never."

"Oh! How sweet!" Duo climbed over the armrest that seperated him from Heero and plopped into his lap.

Heero frowned as Duo's legs gotin the way of his arms and the car swerved a bit. "Oi, Duo, I can't drive like that!" Duo just laughed and turned to face him, straddling his lap. "Now I can't see!"

Duo threw his arms around Heero's neck and laid his head on his shoulder, so he could see the road and keep them from driving into the ocean.

Heero layed his head against his longhaired lover's when he felt kiss after kiss being planted on his neck, not demanding ones, just there to let him know he cared. Eventually they slowed, then stopped all together and were replaced by soft, rythmic sighs.

After a few minutes Heero said quietly "Nothing could ever bring me as much pleasure as you." He thought for another minute and smiled a small, but very real smile "You called me by my full name earlier. Heero Yuy. How would you like to call me Heero Maxwell-Yuy?"

"I'd... like it a lot..." Duo sighed softly and shifted slightly on his lap.

Heero drew in a sharp breath, but then let it out when he realized Duo was really still mostly asleep. Chances were that he wouldn't remember, and even if he did, he'd probably think it was a dream.

He relaxed completely under the warm body of his lover and drove steadily by the ocean, with the only sounds of the motor, crashing waves, and Duo's deep, even breathing for company. He had never even hoped to be this happy.

A.C. 202
Heero woke to the the sounds and smells of Duo making breakfast. He blinked his eyes sleepily, yawned, sat up, and stretched. He did all this slowly and leisurely. After all, it wasn't like he had anywhere to go. After sitting there for a minute, just basking in the morning sun streaming through the window, he swung his legs off the side of the King-sized bed and planted his feet firmly on the floor. He streched out his shoulders again before pushing himself up and padding out the door. The delicious smell led him down the carpeted hallway into the kitchen, where his love stood battling a large cloud of steam, but not smoke, for once. He stood in the doorway, watching him cook on; oblivious to Heero's presence. "Smells good, Duo."

Duo jumped a bit, then turned around and waved a rubber spatula in Heero's direction. "That's not fair! You can't get up now, I was gonna serve you breakfast in bed!"

Heero smiled softly and kissed him on the nose.

"I love it when you smile, Heero! And you do it so much more often now!" Duo threw the spatula over his shoulder into the sink and tackled his lover, sending them sprawling on the floor. He bent down and kissed Heero's mouth.

Neither of them had ever bothered to get dressed.

"Get off or it'll burn." Heero stated, pointing at the frying pan on the burner above them.

"Aww..." Duo pouted adorably, but stood up and found his spatula again.

Heero picked himself off the floor and walked back towards their room to put a shirt on, passing a small wall calender on the way. His eyes flicked towards it, taking note of the day, and a little circle drawn in the corner of it. "Duo? Today's Saturday, ne?"

"Huh? oh, yeah." He heard his lover's voice float out of the kitchen. "Why?"

"Oh, uh, just checking..."[5] It was quite definately Saturday. He really had known, but there was always the possibility of error. And since it was Saurday, the day he had picked out for no special reason other than that it had been a very long way away at the time, he was going to do it today! Yes!. . . . . . No. He'd pick another day. One he'd feel more comfortable on. Like tomorrow. Yeah, he'd definatly feel more comfortable tomorrow. Really, and then there would be no more postponing. But... he knew if he didn't do it today, right now, he'd never do it. It was just another mission, really. But a thousand times more important than any other mission he had ever accepted. And in the time since he had had to carry out those missions, he had learned about emotions. And unfortunately, apprehension came with the package. Was he ever feeling it right now.

"Hey Heero! Whatchya doin in there?" Duo's voice cut in his thoughts.

"Just getting dressed."

Out in the kitchen, Duo stirred the eggs wih a frown. Why was Heero acting so jittery today? That was apprehensive behavior from anyone! But from Heero, the end of the world might be coming, for the way he was acting. He nearly dropped a pan he was holding when it occured to him what it could mean. He put it heavily down on the counter. Masaka... Heero wouldn't leave him, would he? He loved him, didn't he?

Heero walked in the room, fully clothed in a T-shirt and boxers, and Duo legs nearly gave out. Who would want to break up with someone while they were naked, huh? "Hey Duo, I'll cook for a bit. Would you mind getting dressed? I have something to tell you..."

He smiled. Nothing was wrong. Certainly. He probably just had something serious to tell him that wouldn't seem as serious if they were unclothed. Yeah, like 'Duo, I don't think this is working out. I'm moving out tomorrow.' That would be a serious statement! His thoughts got steadily more depressing as he dressed. No wonder... he had noticed Heero had seemed a bit distracted the night before, he probably hadn't even wanted to be there with him. So what had that been, anway? A goodbye fuck? Well screw it, he'd just leave then!

He walked slowly back into the kitchen. "Okay... I'm dressed, what did you want to say?"

Heero stood up and made to move towards Duo, but instead sort of jerked uncomfortably and kept standing where he was "Okay. I, um, I've thought for a long time as to whether this was the best choice for us, and what you'd say, and I-"

Duo looked down at his feet "I already know what you're going to say..."

Heero blinked "You do? How? I mean, that's good! It makes it easier" He grinned "What do you think?"

"What? How can you think I want this? How can you stand there smiling at this!"

Heero was confused now. "Huh?"

"How- I mean- You're the only person I've ever loved! I thought you loved me back! How- Why? I love you!" Duo struggled to keep the tears behind his eyelids.

Heero creased his eyebrow together "Then... Why don't you say yes?"

"And I-" Whatever he had been about to say was cut off. He looked up, confused as hell "Huh?"

Heero quickly strode over to Duo, standing in the opposite doorway, and wrapped him in his arms. "Duo no bakaaaa..."

"Wha?" Duo choked out over his shoulder.

He stepped back and sank to a knee. "Duo Maxwell. Aishiteru. Will you be with me forever? Marry me?" He pulled out a ring, held it up offeringly and smiled as warmly as it is possible for Heero Yuy to smile, tilting his head to the side. "What did you think I was going to ask?"

"I- I-" Duo looked at the ring like it would dissappear at any second. He laughed and shook his head, a few sparkling tears flew from his eyes "It doesn't matter. I- I mean, Yes! Yes! Oh Heero, I love you!" He threw his arms around the kneeling Heero, pushing him flat on his back and knocking the ring out of his hand to land a few feet away from them. "Yes I'll marry you!"

Heero brought his arms up around his fiance and kissed him deeply on the
lips "I'm so glad..."

Duo reached up past Heero's head to grasp the ring, gave it back to him, and held out a hand "Would you?"

Heero smiled. Wider. After all, he had been smiling before. He took the silver band and slowly slipped it on Duo's slender finger. Then he stood up and held out a hand, Duo took it, smiling a true, happy smile all the way, and they walked hand in hand down the hallway to their bedroom, and they fell, laughing like the children they had never been when they met, into the bed.

A.C. 203

Duo rolled over and draped an arm across his husband's chest. The sun slanted in through the blinds the window, illuminating the sleeping couple in strips of gold in the otherwise dark room.

Slowly, the longhaired man awoke. He raised an eyelid to look at his slumbering koi and let out a sleepy giggle. During the night, his hair, which was down to his upper calves by now, had gotten plastered all over his koibito's body and a few strands were brushing up against his nose lightly, causing him to twitch his nose in his sleep in a vain attempt to brush it off. Obligingly, Duo reached a hand up and pulled the hair away from the nose, which immediately stopped twitching.

Happy that his husband was restored to comfort, Duo snuggled up to him. He found it rather hard to believe that things were going so well, not that he wanted to disbelieve it or anything, but he had heard many people say that relationships can start to get boring and monotonous after marriage. But it was their one year anniversary next month, and everything was great. There was no monotony, that was for sure. Duo lips curved into something between a smile and a grin, and he leaned over and blew gently into Heero's ear.

Without opening his eyes, though Duo knew he was awake now, he smiled and rolled on his side, putting his arms around his koi and twining their legs. He then opened one eye, closed it again, and gave him a goodmorning kiss.

Duo returned it with full enthusiasm, but something nagged at the edge of his brain. He opened an eye to look past Heero's hair at the small digital alarm clock on the small bedside table. "Oh shit!" He broke the kiss and jumped out of bed, braiding his hair messily as he went. "Gomen nasai, Heero! I've gotta work today, no da!" He ran to the closet and pulled out a dark blue button down shirt and a pair of black slacks. As he pulled them on, he glanced back at the clock "Dammit! I'm already late! Shit!"

Heero sat up and watched his lover fumble around trying to get dressed "Why don't you take a sick day?"

"You crazy?" Duo looked over, a strange look on his face, while buttoning up his shirt "I run, I hide, but I don't lie! It still applies, you know..."

"I'll call in for you. I could say you're so sick you can't even talk."

Duo stopped and considered for nearly half a second. "Okay!" He jumped into bed with Heero, who pulled off the shirt and threw it across the room, then sat up, straddling Duo's stomach, and bent down to kiss his lips. He felt the other's mouth open and push his tongue out of the way to reach in and taste his mouth. Duo's pants were definitely getting tighter.

Heero leaned back up again and gazed down at the longhaired man, who smiled up at him sexily "Hmm, mine for the whole day... What do you think would be a fitting punishment for trying to go off to work and leave me here like some kind of housewife?"

Duo looked up at him with wide, wide, innocent eyes and said in a high, faint voice "Oh, of all the horrible things you could do to poor defenseless little me, please, oh please don't screw me stupid!"

Heero let out a dark chuckle "I know exactly what I'm going to do."

Duo pulled the man he loved down to kiss him again and whispered "I guess I
have no choice but to surrender to your horrible plans."

An hour later a sweaty, sated, very satisfied Heero stumbled out of bed over to the phone "Hello. May I speak to..." he held the phone away from his mouth "Duo, what's your boss's name?"

A sleepy voice came from under a blanket "Kaido-san..."

Heero put the phone back to his ear "I'd like to speak to Kaido-san... yes, I'll hold... ... ...Hello, Duo Maxwell-Yuy won't be able to make it to work today... yes, he's sick... no... okay... thank you, goodbye" He stumbled back into bed.

"Yay!" cried Duo, hugging Heero.

"You" Heero poked him in the nose "Are supposed to be too sick to speak."

"Can people with laryngitis moan?" Duo rasped out teasingly.

"Shut up"

 

I wasn't until noon that they finally dragged themselves out of bed and got dressed. Heero, not being able to break certain habits wore a green tanktop and jeans, and Duo, not wanting to break certain habits, wore a black tee-shirt and long black shorts that came down to his calves. And naturally, his small silver cross.

They sat at the kitchen table, sipping coffee, while Heero did God knows what with his laptop. Duo sighed. Who else did he know that had to compete with a machine? He just couldn't win; computers don't make mistakes, unless their owner did something to them, which in Heero's case wasn't very likely. He rinsed his mug out in the sink and went over to Heero. He draped his arms loosely around the other man's neck and whined directly into his ear, "c'mon, don't you wanna do something today?"

Heero gave a small, but long-suffering sigh, and shut down his laptop. "Like what?"

"I think we should go on a date."

"A date?"

"Yup. We never really went on any, we were too busy during the war, and since then we've been living together, so we never really needed an excuse to see each other. I think we should go and reclaim our lost childhood!" Duo exclaimed dramatically.

"We're twenty-three years old. I think it's a little late for that." Heero raised an eyebrow and took another sip of coffee.

Duo sighed loudly and slumped into a chair "Oh, mother was right, marriage does take all the zest out of a relationship"

"Duo. You didn't have a mother." Heero rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, but if I had had one, I'm sure she would've said that." He nodded to emphasize the point "I'm also sure she wouldn't have approved of you. Nope, not at all."

"Why not?"

"Oh, I don't know... because you won't take me on dates?" He spun in his chair and leaned back to lay his head in Heero's lap, looking up at his face.

"I didn't say I wouldn't..." Heero smirked slightly.

Duo jumped up "You will then? Yay! I'll have to call mother and tell her you're a good catch after all."

Heero found himself rolling his eyes again. "Where do you want to go?"

"Um... didn't think of that... How 'bout the mall? Then we could go somewhere for a romantic candlelight dinner!" Duo clasped his hands together with an exaggerated blush and went all starry-eyed.

Heero's left eye twitched a bit. "Okay" he agreed before he could stop himself. He stood up and placed his empty mug in the dishwasher, then found the keys to their car and went out the door. All with Duo's enthusiastic arms latched around his neck.

Heero couldn't for the life of him figure out why Duo was feeling so clingy today. It was as though he couldn't get enough of him. Granted, he felt the same way most of the time, but he didn't really need physical contact all the time. He pondered this as he attempted to drive with his lover squirming around in his lap. But the thing that annoyed him most about Duo's behavior was the fact that he couldn't quite bring himself to actually be annoyed about it.

When they got to the mall, Duo opened the door for once rather than jumping over it, much to Heero's surprise and satisfaction. After all, he was the one being sat on. "So where do you want to go first?"

"Uhhh, lunch? The foodcourt." Duo answered, "We haven't eaten yet."

"Yes we have."

Duo grinned, "Hentai. I meant food."

Conveniently, the foodcourt was just inside the main entrance to the mall. Duo had been here many times since they had moved into their apartment, but he could never decide where to eat. "How about Chinese, or hamburgers, or Mr. Hero[6], or pizza? Yeah, pizza. Wanna split one?"

Heero shrugged "Whatever you want to do."

As they walked over to the pizza place, Duo mumbled "You know, you'd be so annoying if I didn't love you so much."

"Same goes for you."

"And sometimes you're annoying anyway."

"Would it be annoying if I were to be repetitive?"

"Yes."

"Okay, just order the pizza"

Duo turned to the teenage girl who was staring up at him with wide eyes and an even wider smile. "Um, could I get a large pepperoni pizza?"

Her smile widened "Sure..." She stood there.

"Ummmmmmmmm..." Duo creased his eyebrows.

"Yes?" She giggled.

"Did you hear me?"

She blinked "oh sorry, what was that?"

Duo sighed and said, "I'd like a large pepperoni pizza."

The girl giggled again and repeated the order into a microphone "That'll be juuuuuuuust a moment." Then she ran to one of her friends further back behind the counter and spoke in whispered conversation, filled with giggling.

Duo looked at Heero painfully "Why do girls never listen to me?"

"You really need to be told?" Heero grinned.

"Whaaaaaaaaaat? Do I have something on my face?" He asked, wiping at it.

"Only nice features."

"Huh?"

Heero shook his head. Duo was by no means an airhead, but he sure could be clueless sometimes.

The girl came back eventually and gave them their pizza, and as they were paying, she smiled up at them and said "I- uh, I mean, she-" She pointed at her friend, who blushed and hid her face behind her hands "-thought you and your friend were, like, really cute!" She giggled again "Do you have girlfriends?"

Duo flushed, realizing why she had been acting strangely "uh, no, but um, I'm really flattered and all but, uh-"

Heero put an arm possessively around his shoulders, showing off his ring in the process, and glared at the girl "No."

The girl's wide eyes got even wider "You mean, you're- uh, okay, here'syourchangecomeagain."

Duo smiled and Heero smirked "Sorry, we're probably too old for you anyway." The longhaired man called out as they walked away.

Duo laughed as they sat down at a small table and began to eat the pizza, which really wasn't all that large, for being a large. Heero watched as his husband proceeded to gobble down all but two pieces, and smiled. The smile was mostly because Duo was running a foot slowly up his calf and trying to look seductive through a mouthful of cheese, but he didn't let that stop him.

"Well then" said Duo, giving up on operation 'Make Heero Sexually Frustrated' "let's going shopping!"

"Sure" Heero shrugged and stood up.

They walked down the broad hallway between the stores, looking in windows and occasionally going into one store or another. At one point Duo laughed and pulled Heero into a clothing store that had just opened there, but that they had heard only good things about. "Let's go in here, I wanna see what it's like." They sifted through the racks of clothing until Duo found something he liked and went into a dressing room to try it on.

It wasn't unusual for one of them to give their opinions on whatever the other was buying, although Heero openly admitted to having absolutely no clue about fashion. He usually liked it if Duo did, but even so, he wanted to see how he looked. He approached the dressing rooms and knocked on the door of the one Duo had gone into. The door opened a crack and a violet eye peered out "Hey Heero, how do I look?" The door opened and Heero had to fight off a nosebleed.

The outfit looked like something you would wear to go clubbing. Knowing Duo, he probably would. He was wearing a loose, untucked, shimmery silver shirt that hung off one shoulder, with a black tanktop under it, clinging tight black leather pants, and clunky black combat boots.

Duo raised an eyebrow at Heero's lack of verbal response "I'll take that as a thumbs up" he stripped off the silver shirt and was about to take off the tanktop when he got attacked from behind. A pair of arms pinned his own to his sides and spun him around to see a pair of familiar blue eyes.

"We're definitely going to buy this outfit, Duo" Heero said before shoving him against the wall not-so-gently and covering his mouth with his own. Duo moaned and ground his hips with Heero's as hard as he could. Then the roughness died down and they stood, just kissing each other in the tiny cubicle. Hands trailing further and further down backs...

"Uh, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to-" The door was wide open and a young man was standing just outside the door, holding a pair of jeans in his arms. He dropped them and ran out of the store.

Heero shut the door firmly and sat down on the small bench in one corner of the dressing room. "Why does this seem to happen to us so often?"[7]

Duo sat in the opposite corner and looked at his koibito, fiddling with the end of his braid. "That kinda reminds me of something that's been bugging me lately for some reason "Remember way back when, when we went to all those class reunions?"

Heero nodded.

"Well, remember that last one we went to, when all those guys saw us making out in the restroom, after we had some fight or another about something you said I couldn't do? But you never said what it was. And I wanted to know."

"Yeah, I remember, and I still say I'll tell you if you do it." Heero hugged him and smiled "And I will, but I don't want to give you any ideas"

Duo laughed and gave Heero a kiss "Alright, whatever it, I'll try not to do it. Now get out of here while I change back into my clothes, or you might jump me again." He shooed Heero out of the room and change clothes again. He touched his lips, still warm and swollen from their kisses. It really didn't matter what it was as long as he didn't do it, he supposed.

He left the dressing room and walked over to the cash register. He handed the clothes over to the salesboy and rooted through his wallet, trying to make correct change. As he was doing this, Heero walked up from behind. "You're going to buy those?"

"Yep! Considering the effect they had on you, I thought I might use them again."

"You don't need them, you always have an effect."

"That's sweet" Duo looked up from his wallet to give the money to the salesboy, but he was busy looking from the clothes, to Duo, to Heero, then back again. "Hey" Duo snapped "I'll do my job, you do yours, and we can all make the world a very productive place." He conveniently forgot that he was supposed to be at work that very minute, but it didn't really matter all that much.

The boy blushed bright red back to ringing up the clothes, Duo went back to rooting through his wallet, and Heero went quickly to the back of the store.

Several hours later they came walking out of a Hot Topic, each carrying three or four bags of varying sizes. Duo looked completely happy, and Heero looked, at best, happy that Duo was happy.

"That was fun, Heero, now how about that candlelight dinner?" Duo laughed.

Heero never heard a shot, though later, remembering it, he imagined he had. He heard the tinkling of glass though, and a faint dripping noise. His face paled and he turned around to stare at Duo. His love was the only person, his beautiful Duo, dressed in black, standing against a stark white background. Duo smiled warmly, so close to him, only about two inches away, as if to ask what was wrong.

"Keh..." the small sound echoed indefinitely in Heero's ears as Duo coughed softly, once. Blood splattered across Heero's face, hair and collar, and a tiny trail of the stuff slid from the corner of Duo's mouth. The bags flew from their hands rather than dropped as Duo slammed into Heero's chest when another bullet entered his body. He crumpled to the ground, and Heero stared down at him, unable to move. He was lying on his stomach, face down on the floor.

Heero looked down at him detachedly. There weren't simply two small holes in Duo's back, there never actually were with gunshots, rather it looked more like two miniature explosions had taken place inside of him. Little pieces of body tissues floated away on rivulets of blood. Heero thought he could see a bit of white bone through the red. He had seen this sort of thing hundreds of times before, but never in so much scrutiny and never on someone he loved... After all, he had never loved anyone before.

Suddenly time resumed and slammed Heero in the face so hard he reeled backwards physically. The white void was gone, replaced with a crowd of people. He could hear them screaming.

"Duo? DUO?!!" Heero's eyes went wide and he dropped to his knees, he rolled his love onto his back to see his face.

"Heero? Why am I on the floor, are you trying to take advantage of me?" He laughed "Why are you crying? I-" his lungs filled and he coughed convulsively, splattering Heero with more of his blood, mixing with the tears already streaming down his face.

Heero cradled Duo as he coughed, and continued to hold him when he stopped and looked back up at him. He knew what had happened now, and Heero could see the pain masking is face. He tried to gasp in air, but only coughed and choked more. 'Heero' he mouthed 'Aishiteru, I'm sorry'

Heero gasped and held Duo closer "No, don't leave me, you shouldn't be sorry, no, I love you."

Duo smiled, but it was pained, and his teeth were stained red, and a last gush of blood poured from his mouth and down his chin and up his nose and across his cheeks and over Heero's arms, cradling his head, and into his hair matting it and pooling out over the floor, staining Heero's jeans irreversibly red.

"DUOOOOOOOO!!!"

 

"Fucking Gundam pilots. They deserve every bit they get" A man in his thirties crouched on the roof of a suburban mall, looking in through a shattered window at a shattered scene.

He flicked his cigarette and stared into the sunset. He'd have to leave soon, or he'd be caught, but he still had a few more minutes to watch. "Look at that guy, screaming over him" He muttered and took a long drag. He had no pity for him; after all, his own family had been killed in an attack by the Gundams. Sure, the newspapers all said that it had actually been an attack by OZ made to seem like a Gundam attack, but he had worked for OZ, and refused to believe that they had been doing the wrong thing. It was all those damn pilots' faults.

He watched through the gaping hole as the police restrained the hysterical man from harming anyone. A few feet away, Some men in white uniforms covered the still man with a cloth. "What a moron, I should've killed him too, not like he wasn't one of 'em" He looked at the barrel of his sniper rifle. He hadn't been able to get a clear shot, and he hadn't wanted to hurt anyone else. But someday he'd get them all. When that longhaired freak wasn't in the way. What kind of self-respecting man lets his hair grow out that long and then braids it, of all things? He smiled slowly to himself and whispered the answer. "A dead one."

 

AC 205

"That was it, that was what you weren't supposed to do. But you did. You weren't supposed to die." He whispered, then put his head down and slept.

Sometime in the night, he woke up again. The light from the full moon outside slanted in through the shades, illuminating the sleeping man in the otherwise dark room. He picked his head up off his arms and looked around the room.

There was something missing... He gazed at the table standing next to him. It wasn't the pills or the picture. He couldn't quite tell what was different. He looked to the other side of his body. The picture was lying face down in a pile of shattered glass. It was a bit ripped and stained, but still recognizible. He reached out a picked it up, flipping it rightside on the way. The sliver of glass that sliced his finger when he did this didn't faze him in the slightest.

A young man with long chestnut hair grinned widely at him, posing for the picture in a pair of black swim trunks. Standing on a beach with his hands on his hips and his head thrown back. He laughed softly at the picture, but he didn't feel a thing. The laugh was empty.

The pain was missing. Yep, that was it. That pain that had tormented him for years had just left. Up and left. Without that pain, there was nothing. What he had thought was underneath the pain hadn't ever really been there at all. All that had been left of him was his pain and anger, and they were both spurred on by the other, and in losing one, he had lost both. And there was nothing left. He tried half-heartedly to bring something back, to feel again, but thinking about what had happened didn't raise any emotions anymore. It didn't matter anyway, really.

He dropped the picture on the floor, and reached over for a large shard of glass. So very sharp. He considered taking his own life, but what good would it have done? What he had ever had of a soul was gone anyway.

Vaugely, he heard someone jiggle the lock and slowly open the door. The person crept into the room in the dim light, and didn't eeven start when Heero said, "Don't bother with the stealth. I know you're here."

"Heero Yuy."

"I used to be."

"You killed my family." the man accused in a gravelly, rough voice.

"I may have. You killed Duo." It wasn't an accusation in turn, merely a statement.

"The freak with the braid?"

"I never considered him a freak, but yes."

"He deserved it. He killed them too. They're all dead."

"Why did you come here?"

"You know why. Don't you care?"

"No, does it make your revenge empty?"

The man had enough practice lying to himself that it was easy for another to slip past his teeth "No."

There was a shot and whatever might have been left of the man named Heero Yuy was gone.

~Owari~

[1] What's the AC equivlent of a Vette? huh, I wonder... My kaasan has one of those things. Sweet! It's not convertible, and it's red, but it's still sugoi.
[2] let's think about this... if the 1st part didn't give you any clue *sweatdrop* maybe I should give up trying to be discreet
[3] Meepies! Violent Hee-chan! I don't even write him like that anymore... This fic is older than I thought! Considering I wrote it probably six months or so ago. Which was before I saw EW, so that's kinda odd. Maybe I had just been reading too many bastardized Heero fics ^_^;;
[4]Endless Waltz refence, sort of. Just in case you wondered what the heck I was talking about
[5] I know Heero doesn't stutter like that... but that's the point. OOC has a reason sometimes. They're 22 now, they're not gonna be the same as when they were 15. Although perhaps that's just an excuse for my bad character portrayls... Probably. XD
[6] Uhh... *snickers* what can I say? It's a looooooooong running joke between some of my friends and me... And we actually have one of these in our local mall. It amuses us to no end, but then again, we're easily amused.
[7] Actually, it's because for some reason Naraku likes to have them interrupted. Perhaps she entertains secret notions of doing it herself someday... I wish...