Title: Now Let Me Get This Straight... 1/1
Pairings: 2x1 (1x2?), 1+R, 2+H, R+H?, 1+2+R+H (^^;;), ?+R&H
Warnings: Um, humor?, Crossdressing? (I don't know if this counts), shounen-ai, shoujo-ai (slightly implied), OOC, AU, POV, XD
Notes: OMG! I'm posting again! *dies* Yeah, I guess I should be working on one of my multipart fics (most of which you haven't even seen one chapter of, but still...) but I just had this idea last night, and I wrote it all down at once O.o Unheard of for me. I ended up staying up 'till six working on another fic after this, but I'm rambling now. Very tired. Anyway, I'm sure this has been done before. e_e Everything has.
Archive: DHML, obviously. And um, if anyone wants my stuff, I'd be flattered and you're more than welcome to it ^^;; Just, uh, inform me.
C&C: I cannot express fully how much I want this. It's like Heero on a sex pill with Duo on the other side of a large, unbreakable piece of glass wearing nothing but his braid and making suggestive motions with his hips. Imagine how much Heero wants Duo right then. Now multiply that by fifty. That's how much I want C&C. Er, except not sexually...
There are these two girls at my school who completely outshine any other girl I've ever seen. They could both be models. Easy. Every guy in school agrees. Plus, they're best friends, so you always see them together. They just give off this radiance.
Relena, the light one, has long golden blonde hair and wide, expressive blue eyes.
Hilde, the dark one, has short, fine dark hair and bottomless dark blue eyes.
I would kill for one evening of either of their company.
Unfortunately, they're both taken. According to the girls (all of them, not just Relena and Hilde), the two most beautiful (or whatever you want to say) boys in school are named Heero and Duo.
Now, they're also best friends, and since their girlfriends are Hilde and Relena, you hardly ever see the four of them apart. You can practically see their glow from the other end of the hallway. Every time they walk by, it's like a bad commercial for cosmetics or clothing. Rumor has it, they never ever fight, and just sit around in their little beautiful world with their eyes half-closed like a CK ad.
The rumor is completely wrong, but rumor has it nonetheless.
Actually, Duo's a fairly good friend of mine, and damn is he annoying. I can't imagine him sitting around like a CK model. He talks all the time, and I've seen Heero physically try to strangle him more than once. Duo just laughs it off and generally makes an obscene comment or two.
Hilde and Relena have their share of fights, too. Over secondary boys, makeup, clothing, etc. I've never seen it get physical, but I guess that's just how girls are. They just run to their boyfriends and whine about what a bitch the other is, until they tearfully make up. Hey, I said I liked their looks, I never said anything about their personalities.
Although, the couples themselves never really seem to have any fights. At least not publicly. However, I happen to know their relationships have some serious problems. I also know I desperately want to strangle Duo and Heero.
Well, anyway, I was walking to Duo's house with a report we were working on together. I'm sure he would have done the report with Heero, had he had the class, but as it was, Duo was stuck with boring old me.
Thinking about it, I laughed and rolled my eyes. Anyway, I hadn't bothered to tell Duo I was coming over, and in retrospect, I don't know why I thought it would be a good idea to just barge in unannounced, but I only live about two houses away from him, so I figured if he couldn't work on the project at the moment, I'd just go back home. No biggie.
I walked up the path to their door and knocked on it a few times. Duo's mother, who looks nothing like him, answered the door. "Why hello," she said, greeting me by name, "What're you doing here?" she asked pleasantly.
"I've come to work on a project with Duo. Is he home?" I asked, smiling.
"Yep. He's upstairs right now. Oh, and Heero's here, too. Maybe he can help you out as well." She opened the door and ushered me in. Duo's father, who Duo is practically an elongated carbon copy of, was sitting at the table, eating a sandwich.
"Hello Mr. Maxwell," I said.
"Hey," he said back to me, "Working on a project, huh? What about?"
"Uh, the history of Cold Fusion."
"Cold Fusion. Isn't that impossible?" he asked.
I agreed, "So they say."
"Ah, well, don't work too hard," Mr. Maxwell said, winking and biting into the sandwich.
I walked up the familiar stairs, making my way to Duo's room.
I think I should have been tipped off by the noises coming from Duo's bedroom, but I automatically assumed it was the television. And after my brief exchange with Mr. Maxwell, I had forgotten a crucial bit of information; Heero was already here.
So I can honestly say it came as a shock to me, when I walked in on my two male friends, trying to see who could shove their tongue further down the other's throat. Not only that, but they were both lying on Duo's bed, Duo on top with his shirt off, and Heero moaning underneath him. In nothing but a pair of boxers. Their hands were in places I care not to think about.
My first thought was, 'What the fuck?' My second thought was, 'In his parents' house?!'
Naturally, when I opened the door, they immediately untangled their tongues and removed their hands from each other. Duo jumped off the bed (and Heero) and kept me from running away, as was my first instinct. Once I realized I wasn't going anywhere, I turned to face Duo "You're gay?!?!" I practically yelled.
"Shhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!" Duo shushed me frantically. "Say a word and dieee!"
"But- but- You.. and... Heero?! You're together! Like that?!"
Heero licked his lips, rearranging his boxers. "It would seem so."
"But-! Relena! Hilde! Your girlfriends!"
"What about them?" Duo asked slightly resentfully.
Duo's eyes flicked back to the boy on the bed. "So what? So's Heero. And he's got a personality."
Heero hid a smile.
I squinted one eye and opened the other wide in an incredulous expression. "But most guys would kill to be in your shoes! I mean, you're just throwing them away! Aren't you interested in them at all?!" Try as I might, I simply couldn't get my brain to wrap around the concept.
"Uh, well..." Duo looked slightly guilty. "You know, we started out interested in them and all, but... I guess we just got a bit more interested in other things along the way." He sent a small smile Heero's way.
"Ohhhhhh my gosh.... This is really strange... And would you put some pants on, Heero?"
The boy raised an eyebrow. "Well, Duo ripped my shorts... And all I have left in the way of pants are these," he said, smirking and holding up something. After a few seconds, I realized it was a pair of fishnet stockings.
"Oh! Oh- where in the hell did you get those?" Duo asked, blushing and grabbing them out of Heero's hands.
The shorthaired boy laughed a little. "They're Catherines. I thought I'd bring them along to freak you out."
"Well, you did a good job of freaking me out." I said, sitting in a big, plastic inflatable chair.
Duo rolled his eyes and tried to be discreet about tucking the stockings into his back pocket. I nearly fainted. Heero smirked and stood up, walking over to Duo's dresser and going through his selection of pants. He pulled out a pair of jeans and slipped them on. They ended up being a bit too long.
We sat around in fairly uncomfortable silence, until I realized something. "Hey, since you guys are, um, together now, then won't you have to tell Relena and Hilde, and they'll dump you and be free for all the rest of the guys?"
Duo exchanged a look with Heero and laughed out loud. "Oh, hell no. They know."
"Well... You see... I guess you didn't know us then, but Heero and I didn't even know each other before we got together with the girls. See, they got together and decided we'd make a good couple, so they sort of set us up, you know?"
"What girl doesn't love a good yaoi show?" Heero asked wryly.
I leaned back in the chair, unable to comprehend my bad fortune. "So you guys have this foursome thing going on?"
Duo laughed and waved his hand in a sort of 'so-so' motion. "Sort of... We've never had group sex, if that's what you're asking."
I groaned. "You guys are completely insane." I said, flopping back in the chair and staring up at the ceiling. When I looked back up, they were kissing again. I got up and got out of the room quickly.
That was yesterday. Now I'm sitting in class, near the middle back of the room, with the two of them near the front, one on each side of me, across the room from each other. I never noticed the small, subtle looks they exchange, or the slight movements of their hands to each other. Their own personal sign language?
With a slight grin, Heero discreetly runs a hand down his leg. I squeeze my eyes shut. Good lord... When I open them again, he's reaching down to his ankle, not having to bend over very far in the short desk.
He makes it look like he's scratching his ankle under his baggy jeans, but he actually pulls the cuff up and shows his ankle to Duo, who grins half a mile wide and looks back up at the blackboard.
And as for Heero. Where his socks should be resting? Fishnet.